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How to Recede in Business
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How to Recede in Business

on May 16, 2017
Chapter: Chapter 5

Comments (79)

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  1. Ursula Erickson
    Ursula Erickson
    May 16, 2017, 10:15 am

    Link | Reply | Like (0)

    You always nee a scapegoat. lol.

    • Aaron J.
      Aaron J.
      May 16, 2017, 10:56 am

      Replied to: Ursula Erickson | Link | Reply | Like (0)

      Agreed, yet can he really be called the scapegoat if he’s actually the reason for the impending riot of over 800 people?

      • Ironbillie
        Ironbillie
        May 16, 2017, 12:07 pm

        Replied to: Aaron J. | Link | Reply | Like (0)

        A scapegoat would imply that they are all guilty of the same crime where here it was his perticular position to make sure that the event was not an all boys club.

        • Steve
          Steve
          May 16, 2017, 2:55 pm

          Replied to: Ironbillie | Link | Reply | Like (0)

          The problem, though, is if that they didn’t have the event, they would have had to issue the refunds regardless. Either that or Ellie would have had to date around 800 dudes, and that wouldn’t be possible in the time frame they had. This was their best shot, but they needed incentives to get the ladies in the door. Still possible–I maintain “open bar for ladies” would do the job–but they needed to sweeten that pot in short order.

          • wavewright62
            wavewright62
            May 16, 2017, 3:27 pm

            Replied to: Steve | Link | Reply | Like (0)

            Juniper would show up for an open bar, anyway.

            • Steve
              Steve
              May 16, 2017, 4:47 pm

              Replied to: wavewright62 | Link | Reply | Like (1)

              I wondered myself. But remember, Juni’s been in AA since Ellie’s convention tour with our old buddy Daniel. Still, Juni might know a few lushes who’d throw down, and the Patreon strips suggest Juni may be off the wagon, depending on how they fit in time-wise.

              • Ironbillie
                Ironbillie
                May 16, 2017, 8:18 pm

                Replied to: Steve | Link | Reply | Like (0)

                Juniper is the constant disappoint of the family. She likey off the wagon again for the forth time this month.

                • SeanR
                  SeanR
                  May 17, 2017, 3:43 pm

                  Replied to: Ironbillie | Link | Reply | Like (0)

                  So. You’re saying this is the fourth day of the month?

              • mR. Blue
                mR. Blue
                May 17, 2017, 3:24 pm

                Replied to: Steve | Link | Reply | Like (0)

                Court mandated AA perhaps? And she was seen drinking… but that should have been after the convention event, shouldn’t it?

            • That One
              That One
              May 22, 2017, 11:49 am

              Replied to: wavewright62 | Link | Reply | Like (0)

              Did someone say open bar?

    • The Cartoon Cynic
      The Cartoon Cynic
      May 16, 2017, 12:57 pm

      Replied to: Ursula Erickson | Link | Reply | Like (0)

      is he a Knight who says Ni?

      • mR. Blue
        mR. Blue
        May 16, 2017, 2:22 pm

        Replied to: The Cartoon Cynic | Link | Reply | Like (1)

        Doth not insist upon myself,
        It’s for whom the Knight which says Ni.

        A green thumb though shalt have,
        All for save one foot, the green thumb shall be found.
        Not just half by axis, nor all by appendage.
        For three is the holy number of which though shalt have.

        For thousands is being compelled to first bring back a shrubbery.

        • mR. Blue
          mR. Blue
          May 16, 2017, 2:26 pm

          Replied to: mR. Blue | Link | Reply | Like (1)

          Dog darn auto corkboard. Thou damn it. Thou.

  2. Magus62
    Magus62
    May 16, 2017, 10:29 am

    Link | Reply | Like (3)

    Ball the balls? I’m not familiar with this hip new lingo.

    • I'am a Redguard!
      I'am a Redguard!
      May 16, 2017, 10:48 am

      Replied to: Magus62 | Link | Reply | Like (1)

      I think he meant, By the balls. That was a typo, right Rusche? Anywho, I think someone is about to get an X on the character page and the first two guesses don’t count.

      • jeffepp
        jeffepp
        May 16, 2017, 11:17 am

        Replied to: I'am a Redguard! | Link | Reply | Like (1)

        Not before he gets a wig and a dress.

      • shineyorkboy
        shineyorkboy
        May 16, 2017, 1:59 pm

        Replied to: I'am a Redguard! | Link | Reply | Like (0)

        Nah, Merrick just had a Freudian slip. He’s got balls on the mind.

        • mR. Blue
          mR. Blue
          May 16, 2017, 2:24 pm

          Replied to: shineyorkboy | Link | Reply | Like (0)

          I’d buy that for a dollar.

      • mR. Blue
        mR. Blue
        May 16, 2017, 2:27 pm

        Replied to: I'am a Redguard! | Link | Reply | Like (0)

        Congratulations on earning the first comment, with the word first being conveniently buried.

        • I'am a Redguard!
          I'am a Redguard!
          May 16, 2017, 2:51 pm

          Replied to: mR. Blue | Link | Reply | Like (0)

          Fuck! Is it too late to say first?

          • mR. Blue
            mR. Blue
            May 17, 2017, 3:25 pm

            Replied to: I'am a Redguard! | Link | Reply | Like (0)

            Yes. But trying to say it negates the effect.

            • I'am a Redguard!
              I'am a Redguard!
              May 17, 2017, 8:15 pm

              Replied to: mR. Blue | Link | Reply | Like (0)

              Double fuck!!!!! I had first and I blew it!😢

              • mR. Blue
                mR. Blue
                May 20, 2017, 11:35 am

                Replied to: I'am a Redguard! | Link | Reply | Like (0)

                Negative. Since it was based in a question about the rules and not a statement itself, the negating has not occurred.

    • Steve
      Steve
      May 17, 2017, 9:13 am

      Replied to: Magus62 | Link | Reply | Like (1)

      More balls than a Chuck E. Cheese playpit, yes indeed.

  3. Jamilee
    Jamilee
    May 16, 2017, 11:44 am

    Link | Reply | Like (4)

    Ellie is THIS CLOSE to beating someone down and cutting their hair.

  4. Banena
    Banena
    May 16, 2017, 12:40 pm

    Link | Reply | Like (0)

    how on earth did they not see this coming like a ton of bricks?! Or a ton of dudes? I would think it was obvious, but what do I know even I didn’t see it coming! hahahaaaaa

    • Dandi Andi
      Dandi Andi
      May 16, 2017, 8:50 pm

      Replied to: Banena | Link | Reply | Like (5)

      And then it hit them like a ton of dicks…

      • Banena
        Banena
        May 16, 2017, 9:30 pm

        Replied to: Dandi Andi | Link | Reply | Like (0)

        Hahahaha

        • mR. Blue
          mR. Blue
          May 17, 2017, 3:26 pm

          Replied to: Banena | Link | Reply | Like (1)

          Hey B.

          • Banena
            Banena
            May 18, 2017, 12:44 am

            Replied to: mR. Blue | Link | Reply | Like (0)

            Sup Mr B

      • I'am a Redguard!
        I'am a Redguard!
        May 18, 2017, 11:39 am

        Replied to: Dandi Andi | Link | Reply | Like (0)

        Then they should have worn a ton of condoms.

      • mR. Blue
        mR. Blue
        May 20, 2017, 11:37 am

        Replied to: Dandi Andi | Link | Reply | Like (0)

        I guess it gives new meaning to the song, “she was a _ _ I c k house”

  5. TheLastOutlaw
    TheLastOutlaw
    May 16, 2017, 1:16 pm

    Link | Reply | Like (1)

    Ellie has a surprisingly good grasp of the situation and it’s future ramifications.

    • Mahanaxar
      Mahanaxar
      May 16, 2017, 1:26 pm

      Replied to: TheLastOutlaw | Link | Reply | Like (0)

      Let’s just hope they don’t recruit her into their…. “club”.

    • White Rice
      White Rice
      May 17, 2017, 3:43 pm

      Replied to: TheLastOutlaw | Link | Reply | Like (0)

      It’s how she’s been described before: she’s lazy as all get-out with zero motivation most of the time, but when she does get motivated she’s at near Tarra levels of proficiency (just with less multi-planar summoning & future selves time traveling to kick asses)

  6. shineyorkboy
    shineyorkboy
    May 16, 2017, 1:57 pm

    Link | Reply | Like (1)

    I mostly have comments on outfits…

    Ellie is rockin’ that dress. It a bit too light in tone for my tastes, but I then to favor a darker pallet in general. I’d have gone less powder blue and more teal or robin’s egg. Good Crane colors though. You do you girl.

    Wilf pulls of a suit and tie like a boss.

    It must be hard for Mandalay to find clothes in his size. He’s a team player though. I give him a B+ for effort.

    Merrick looks like a complete tool.

    Also, Ellie is aware of at least GG and Mandalay. Interesting…

    • Gabriel Iglesias
      Gabriel Iglesias
      May 16, 2017, 2:50 pm

      Replied to: shineyorkboy | Link | Reply | Like (2)

      So you know how I have this six-class ranking system for big, right? Big, healthy, husky, fluffy, dayumn! and oh HAYLL no! Well, I actually managed to run into a seventh class. I call it “Mandalay” because that was the dude’s name. And if I ever meet anyone bigger than Mandalay he will be trying to eat the planet and they will call him Galactus. You know how for him, there’s a guy on a surfboard that travels in front of him, warning people that he’s coming? For Mandalay, I hear it’s Tattoo from Fantasy Island on a skateboard.

      • I'am a Redguard!
        I'am a Redguard!
        May 17, 2017, 2:38 am

        Replied to: Gabriel Iglesias | Link | Reply | Like (0)

        Don’t worry, God created the Big and Tall store for dudes like Mandalay.

        • mR. Blue
          mR. Blue
          May 20, 2017, 11:38 am

          Replied to: I'am a Redguard! | Link | Reply | Like (0)

          I thought that it was Thornton Mellon.

      • Anonymous
        Anonymous
        May 17, 2017, 9:17 pm

        Replied to: Gabriel Iglesias | Link | Reply | Like (0)

        Ellie must have a custom tailor.

    • G'kar
      G'kar
      May 19, 2017, 11:54 am

      Replied to: shineyorkboy | Link | Reply | Like (0)

      That’s a woman’s shirt. It buttons are on the left, men’s shirts button from the right. The reason is because servents used to dress women of stature, the servants are gone but the style remains.

      • The_Squished_Elf
        The_Squished_Elf
        May 20, 2017, 8:46 am

        Replied to: G'kar | Link | Reply | Like (0)

        Or it’s a shirt designed for Navy or Firefighting or other Navy-descended professions. I dunno if it’s the same in the USA but in the territories still technically sworn to the English Royal Family any of the above professions make their uniforms designed to be worn from the left rather than the right. Not sure why, but it’s all designed to be worn by a lefty.

        • The_Squished_Elf
          The_Squished_Elf
          May 20, 2017, 8:53 am

          Replied to: The_Squished_Elf | Link | Reply | Like (0)

          EDIT: The shirt is actually just really weird… Note that the side we see with buttons on it is also the one showing atop the other side, so it’s like buttons that are done facing inwards but go through the whole fabric rather than being sewn on…?

  7. wavewright62
    wavewright62
    May 16, 2017, 3:32 pm

    Link | Reply | Like (0)

    Heee that wee skull & crossbones over Ellie’s head, cute touch. I like the dress, too. GG, time to be a team player, time to mingle!

    • Mahanaxar
      Mahanaxar
      May 16, 2017, 8:14 pm

      Replied to: wavewright62 | Link | Reply | Like (1)

      Isn’t she like 12?

      • Pinkk
        Pinkk
        May 18, 2017, 10:29 am

        Replied to: Mahanaxar | Link | Reply | Like (1)

        She’s short, not 12 :p

    • SnackNStack
      SnackNStack
      May 17, 2017, 11:17 am

      Replied to: wavewright62 | Link | Reply | Like (0)

      I’m happy to see that GG has an actual nose. From the cast page picture of her, I’d gotten into my head that she just had nostril holes, which made her even creepier when blinking.

      • I'am a Redguard!
        I'am a Redguard!
        May 19, 2017, 5:51 pm

        Replied to: SnackNStack | Link | Reply | Like (0)

        Krillin she ain’t.

        • Ironbillie
          Ironbillie
          May 20, 2017, 12:53 am

          Replied to: I'am a Redguard! | Link | Reply | Like (1)

          Yup. She is still alive and not beaten to a bloody pulp

        • SnackNStack
          SnackNStack
          May 22, 2017, 3:52 pm

          Replied to: I'am a Redguard! | Link | Reply | Like (0)

          I don’t know… You put a wig on Krillin, and you’re about 80% to GG already.

  8. Steve
    Steve
    May 16, 2017, 7:20 pm

    Link | Reply | Like (0)

    I guess this explains why so much of D52 is dead.

    They left quality control in the hands of the Montage pusher / junkie.

  9. Pinkk
    Pinkk
    May 16, 2017, 11:33 pm

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    Looks like she started caring more about the job and less about getting out of it :p

  10. shineyorkboy
    shineyorkboy
    May 17, 2017, 12:39 am

    Link | Reply | Like (1)

    Reading webcomics at work. A manager walks behind me and makes a comment about Ellie’s bust size. It’s both funny and embarrassing.

    • I'am a Redguard!
      I'am a Redguard!
      May 17, 2017, 2:50 am

      Replied to: shineyorkboy | Link | Reply | Like (0)

      The part about your manager walking behind you sounds like the beginning of a joke! 😄 While Ellie is rather busty, if you want to see women with impossible chests then look no further than the twin furry train wrecks known as Las Lindas and Rascals!

      • Alex
        Alex
        May 17, 2017, 9:45 am

        Replied to: I'am a Redguard! | Link | Reply | Like (0)

        Wow. I was going to mention grrlpower and btbcomic, but they’re rather flat compared to your katbox references.

        But I must admit I’m not actually into huge breasts. In the early comics Ellie had a normal breast size and watching her work was so effing hilarious! I especially laughed at when she was told to get some crayons. XD
        Her current situation is just cringeworthy. I was like “why do you stay with these obvious frauds?” right from the beginning and I was hoping that she left for good when she finally did talk sense (see http://shotgunshuffle.com/comic/desperation_/ ). But nooo, she gets fooled again. I expected her to be way more intelligent after all she has been through.

        Also her current face looks like a guy’s face, especially panel 2.

        • Anon
          Anon
          May 22, 2017, 5:50 pm

          Replied to: Alex | Link | Reply | Like (0)

          You just say that because he didn’t draw the blue in her eyes.

        • SnackNStack
          SnackNStack
          May 23, 2017, 12:34 pm

          Replied to: Alex | Link | Reply | Like (0)

          Incredible reveal. Ellie’s a guy.
          It’s the Shotgun Shuffle THAT WILL CHANGE EVERYTHING.

    • mR. Blue
      mR. Blue
      May 17, 2017, 3:27 pm

      Replied to: shineyorkboy | Link | Reply | Like (0)

      The statement must be shared.

      • shineyorkboy
        shineyorkboy
        May 23, 2017, 12:33 am

        Replied to: mR. Blue | Link | Reply | Like (0)

        It was something along the lines of ‘That girl has huge hoo-hahs.’

  11. I'am a Redguard!
    I'am a Redguard!
    May 17, 2017, 11:33 am

    Link | Reply | Like (0)

    Ellie relly needs the money.and this was and still is a good opportunity to learn more about event planning. This is a good opportunity to see how well Ellie is at thinking on her feet as well as seeing how she handles setbacks like this.

  12. Steve
    Steve
    May 17, 2017, 3:00 pm

    Link | Reply | Like (0)

    YOU HAD ONE JOB, MERRICK. ONE. JOB.

  13. DaveBro
    DaveBro
    May 17, 2017, 3:08 pm

    Link | Reply | Like (0)

    Love the title! Although there is an excess of the brotherhood of man, so probably not invoking that right now.

  14. mR. Blue
    mR. Blue
    May 17, 2017, 3:20 pm

    Link | Reply | Like (0)

    Ellie does seem to be definitely stepping into a management role here.

  15. Matthew
    Matthew
    May 18, 2017, 4:15 am

    Link | Reply | Like (0)

    How are they going to get the women to even out the men.

    • Keanu
      Keanu
      May 20, 2017, 4:14 am

      Replied to: Matthew | Link | Reply | Like (0)

      Split the crowd, entertain them separately in groups while the rest chats around, plays billiard or whatever. The rest will eventually lose interest and leave quickly.

      There’s also a catchall gag opportunity here: half the dillusioned singles collectively swear off women and play for the other team.

  16. Chris (the other one)
    Chris (the other one)
    May 18, 2017, 7:34 am

    Link | Reply | Like (0)

    I don’t understand something. If it has already been asked before, I will freely admit I have not been following the comments thoroughly. The group led by Tired Guy, is together for the express purpose to find the item (that we think is hidden in Quinn’s barrette (or IS being used as the barrette)). So, I don’t get why the group gives a rats behind whether or not eSymmetry survives this get together? I *DO* understand why Ellie cares, but why are they all concerned/angry/upset with Merrick and his failure to complete his “mission” tonight?

    • SnackNStack
      SnackNStack
      May 18, 2017, 8:38 am

      Replied to: Chris (the other one) | Link | Reply | Like (1)

      I assume that E-Symmetry is what funds their organization’s activities, as well as putting food on their tables. So, more economic than integral to their schemes.

      Or, perhaps love fuels the artificial intelligence they’re trying to get. That’s probably it.

  17. Rick
    Rick
    May 18, 2017, 9:21 am

    Link | Reply | Like (0)

    Why haven’t you voted yet today?

    • Pinkk
      Pinkk
      May 18, 2017, 10:43 pm

      Replied to: Rick | Link | Reply | Like (0)

      I vote all the time, I kept wondering if everyone else wasn’t :p

  18. I'am a Redguard!
    I'am a Redguard!
    May 19, 2017, 8:11 pm

    Link | Reply | Like (0)

    So I was right about the typo!

  19. Gravatarless
    Gravatarless
    May 19, 2017, 8:47 pm

    Link | Reply | Like (0)

    Hm. Nav update. New faces.

  20. Devilslayervx
    Devilslayervx
    May 19, 2017, 9:44 pm

    Link | Reply | Like (0)

    When you are so massive, you cant fully button up your shirt. Good lord Mandalay is huge.

  21. That One
    That One
    May 22, 2017, 11:52 am

    Link | Reply | Like (0)

    Wait a minute. I don’t think I like where this is going, think before you do anything drastic Ellie.

    • shineyorkboy
      shineyorkboy
      May 23, 2017, 12:32 am

      Replied to: That One | Link | Reply | Like (0)

      Yes. Use the sort of thoughtful decision making skills your sister Juniper would employ in this sort of situation.

      Remember, WWJD – What Would Juniper Do?

      • That One
        That One
        May 23, 2017, 8:53 am

        Replied to: shineyorkboy | Link | Reply | Like (0)

        First, get a martini.

        Wait a second, that was sarcasm wasn’t it?

        • shineyorkboy
          shineyorkboy
          May 23, 2017, 1:13 pm

          Replied to: That One | Link | Reply | Like (0)

          No. Not at all.

          Besides, Ellie’s underage.

      • That One
        That One
        May 23, 2017, 9:22 am

        Replied to: shineyorkboy | Link | Reply | Like (0)

        Though what I’m really worried about is she’s about to create work for me.

        • shineyorkboy
          shineyorkboy
          May 23, 2017, 1:12 pm

          Replied to: That One | Link | Reply | Like (0)

          Part of having people who will have your back no matter what means having their backs from time to time.

          Granted your threshold for calling in help is presumably much higher than most people’s, but still…

  22. Rick
    Rick
    May 23, 2017, 3:08 pm

    Link | Reply | Like (0)

    BALLS!!
    Chris corrected the dialog.

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