I got a wonderfully obscure email from my service provider last night.. which I’m increasingly more ashamed to say is GoDaddy. LET’S READ!

 

Dear Christopher Rusche,

Your shotgunshuffle.com hosting account has been causing a significant overload of shared resources (CPU) for the server on which it resides. This overload threatens the health of the server and, in turn, the connectivity of other websites housed on it. 

Please keep in mind that, as the owner of this hosting account, it is incumbent upon you to determine what is wrong and how to best resolve this situation. However, this appears to be an issue with comment spamming on your shotgunshuffle.com website. 

In general terms, you will need to install anti-spamming devices such as CAPTCHA, Akismet, etc., and remove all current unwanted spam posts, comments, and users. 

However, as we are not able to support custom scripting or the inner workings of third-party applications, we are unable to provide specific solutions. Therefore, we respectfully suggest the use of your favorite Internet search engine in order to further research this issue, if necessary, using terms such as: clean and stop comment spam, etc. 

Additional information and resources may also be found through reviewing the support forum for your specific website application(s) (i.e.: WordPress, Drupal, Joomla, phpBB, MediaWiki, Simple Machines Forum, etc.) 

*** IMPORTANT *** 

Your hosting account is scheduled to be reviewed again July 21, 2013. In order to prevent your account becoming eligible for suspension following that review, please ensure this issue has been fully resolved before that date. 

We understand that this situation was not intentional. However, it is crucial that you review and resolve this issue as quickly as possible. Should this issue persist and/or any associated negative impact escalate in severity prior to the review date above, it may become necessary to suspend your service without further notification. 

**************** 

Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter. Our goal is to not only correct this issue, but to also ensure optimal performance of your own website(s) in our environment. We are here to help; should you have any questions, you may call us at 480-505-8871, or simply reply to this email message. We sincerely appreciate your business and your cooperation.

Thank you,
Go Daddy
Network Violations Team

networkviolations@godaddy.com
480-505-8871 

 

Now for any of you visiting ever experience site-slowiness or general non-existence, I feel your pain. Tenfold. I’ve been extremely disappointed in the product I’ve been paying for. I scrolled through their help forums to discover many users being heckled for what appear to be complete non-issues. And many of them being asked to respond directly to that email, or they’re threatened with site-suspension. One such case was over their directory folders not having correct indexes. Others for having some portions of their site take over 45 seconds to respond.
Here’s my tactful rebuttal:

 

Askimet has been installed for some time now. I’m going to abide by what your requesting and install several more filters for spam.
 
While I don’t mind doing this, I’m going to need some further explanation as to why random spammers on the internet, I have no control over, are affecting your CPU usage? They leave a comment. Askimet catches it. I delete it. I’m not knowledgeable enough on how CPU and servers and bandwidth all work as a whole and affect each other.. but I do know I’m paying for unlimited bandwidth and if my site reaches 40 visitors at any same time, it crashes like clockwork.
 
What I will assume is, while I pay for “unlimited,” my website is grouped with similar sites that receive roughly the same amount of hits. And when my site suddenly spikes in hits, it crashes. It was not ‘pre determined’ to get this influx of visitors. So it crashes, and I lose potential readers. Keep in mind… I’m paying for “unlimited.” I’ve also wasted a significant amount of ad money over the last year because of this. I could ALSO GO ON about how generally slow my site ALWAYS is.
 
But I digress. 
 
No I don’t… I think it is your company that is accountable to me, and why I am constantly disappointed in my hopes for consistent site enjoyment for my readers. Not the other way around. It is GODADDY that needs to be asking how it can better serve me. Not ask of ME what I can do for it. Before this company decides to come knocking on MY DOOR for favors, it should consider whether the customer it’s asking is truly satisfied with their service. I also recall this company being easily hacked and my site going down for a day or so. I also ran ads that day for it. But oh well right? I need to sit in fear you’re going to suspend my site unless mean ol’ spammers stop spammin.’ The input of text is just overwhelming you.
 
If I receive another notification like this that is NOT of legitimate or reasonable concern… or for that matter… something I could actually control, I will be going elsewhere.
 
Thank you.
Christopher Rusche
“Your humble webcomic artist who works tirelessly on comics that can be seen by 20 or less viewers at a time!”Now for any of you mulling over ways to help, I appreciate it very much. But I have been looking into correcting this issue with my readers being able to smoothly visit the site. No worries. I’m mostly annoyed with this undeserved disconnect online companies seem to enjoy with regards to serving their customers. Yeah you can scream at them on the phone, but they assume some luxury of immunity that’s not there. I’m sorry, GoDaddy. You’re not impressing anyone.