So my son Jackson will be turning 4 in November, and I decided to check in the local ToysRUs to see their selection of… you guessed it… AVENGERS toys. For one thing, the action figures themselves aren’t horribly overpriced, but they certainly are expensive. We’re talking 5 inch action figures with limited detail and articulation being around $10-15. Not so bad, unless you consider they have enough Avengers characters you can easily drop a hundred on just trying to get the movie’s cast.

Now I haven’t stopped in since last Christmas, and wow at some of the stuff they had. Let’s begin what I want to call:

WTF @ Toys R Us

I am borderline thinking about buying Jack every character he still needs (which is all of them but Nick Fury.) I’m not sure why he picked Nick Fury since he can’t even remember his name, or what he does, or why he’s in the movie. I’m also NOT going to buy the Skrull, weird alien dudes, or any other obscure characters they’re offering. The issue ended up being that Snowboard Capt. America was the only version they had left.

Snowboarding Captain America.

Because, you know… that’s how you defeat Shaun White’s evil empire. Then I curiously noticed there were normal Captains included in seemingly innocent vehicle sets. HMMMMM. I think this is a marketing conspiracy involving certain characters having low quantities shipped. So now I’m thinking LESS characters, but larger figures…

Let’s move on…

Holy crap! I’ve been waiting YEARS to own an E.T. figure… but they’ve just never made one of him in drag! FINALLY!!! So long I’ve been waiting and writing letters.

I’m guessing this is Catwoman from DC’s “Ladies of the Evening” Series. This has to be from the era when taking a photo of someone involved the subject holding still for 5 minutes, with the flash powder and all that other stuff… so Selina doing a backflip and exposing her undergarments would only end up as hearsay in the tabloids, and not breaking news on Roaring Twenty’s TMZ.

 Okay, this is pretty funny, but not worth it’s $12.00 price tag. It’s a flat piece of plastic. It’s worthy of a Burger King toy.

 

If you ever want to laugh at what kid’s are into these days, always hit the posters.

Also, is it “1D”  ?? Is that their name? One-Dimension? I’d Wikipedia the meaning of that if I

1) cared, or

2) …yea that’s it.

Okokok… this is something Wal-Mart would offer when I was five. Like any kid these days would go “Daddy Daddy! I don’t want >insert fancy toy<. I want a cheap framed still photo from the 70’s of two sexually ambiguous androids!”

Star Wars.. tribbles??? Someone’s getting sued.

Cool candy display. May have to steal it for the DeLorean I’m building.

Baby’s first Rubik’s cube. REALLY?? This is more of those toys that totally pander to parent’s thinking they’re going to give birth to some baby genius if they only buy them the right toys. Remember those reading program infomercials? “Your kid will learn to read during child birth if you buy this product.”

And finally, my personal favorite: