Hey all, Claire here! After staying up for the last 36 hours to finish this, Chris immediately collapsed into the land of comf as soon as it was done. So it’s down to me to regale you all with a fun little tale of Amazon incompetence.  First of all, let me begin by thanking Richard for the baby registry gifts sent earlier this month, including a crib mattress and mattress cover. Both are very much appreciated! Funny thing about the mattress however–we haven’t actually received it yet, and Amazon is currently on their 3rd try at delivering it.

I got a notification back on the 10th that a gift had been purchased from our registry, and kept an eye out for the mail for the next several days. The mattress cover arrived, and then the scheduled delivery day for the mattress itself came…and went. After giving Amazon an extra week, I started to look into things. The mattress had been shipped by UPS, and according to their tracking it was delivered to our address on the 15th. Since I most definitely did NOT miss a gigantic mattress-sized box at our gate, I can only guess it was either stolen or the driver decided to keep it for naptime breaks in the back of his truck.

I contacted Amazon support and tried to explain the situation. No, I didn’t order this myself, that’s why it isn’t in my order history. It was a gift from my registry. Yes, I know it says delivered, but I definitely didn’t get it. After some back-and-forth, the agent finally understood and issued a replacement to be sent. It should have been here on the 27th. Late that afternoon, amidst a sudden pop-up thunderstorm, I get the notification it has been delivered. Perfect timing, Amazon. I drive down to the gate, getting soaked and wondering if I’m going to be burned to a crisp by the very nasty and close lightning strikes hitting every 30 seconds all around us. The mattress is nowhere to be seen. 

Frustrated and cursing more than a little, I come back to the house and look up the tracking. This time it was delivered by an Amazon driver–to an address over 20 miles away at a business I used to work for back in 2014. You’ve gotta be kidding me. I contact support again, and the explanation is even more fun this time. No, I didn’t order it, it was a gift. Yes, it’s already been replaced once. No, I didn’t receive this one either. Yes, I know it says delivered, but the last support agent inexplicably sent it to the wrong address. 

This is apparently too much for the agent to comprehend, who gives up and transfers me to a different person. After explaining the situation AGAIN, this agent is able to talk to a supervisor and get yet another replacement issued. I made very clear this time to send it to my default address, not one that I last used seven years ago. 

Next, I called up my old workplace, and they confirmed that they had received the mattress. Do I want them to hold it for me? Given that Amazon was sending a new one already and it would take me an hour just to drive out there and pick it up, I asked if they had any employees that are expecting. And they actually do, a woman who works in their call center and is due in December. I told them to give her the mattress, so Richard, you’ve managed to bless at least 3 different families (and/or delivery drivers) with the gift of baby sleepytimez so far. Maybe by the time this is over, Amazon will have sent a mattress to every person in Texas and you’ll have single-handedly bankrupted Jeff Bezos. In the meantime, our mattress is supposed to be here Tuesday–so keep your fingers crossed, y’all.

In the last post, Chris mentioned the Pokemon art competition we had for the kids while family was visiting. He also mentioned we had a few other competitions at the same time. Well, it was maybe more than a FEW. You can see all the various trophies above, which he had to order months in advance. We had trophies for Board Games, Outdoor Games, Best Murderer, Smash Bros, Monopoly, Mario Party, Croquet, Mario Kart, Best Om Nom Nom, Video Games, Biggest Heart, Biggest Fail (that’s the little tiny one in front of Best Murderer), and the “I Tried” award. On the left is Chris’ master list clipboard where we tallied all the points for the various competitions.

It took us a whole week to get through them all, and it was a LOT of fun. Everybody won something (I got the Biggest Fail for accidentally launching my croquet mallet halfway across the yard), and winners get to keep their trophy for a whole year until we do the competitions again next summer. I’ll leave it to him to talk about the Best Murderer, which was definitely my favorite and had the hottest competition of any of them. In the meantime, here’s a picture of Caitlyn triumphantly apple-bobbing in the Om-Nom-Nom contest: