Seven-Day Free Trial

Hey all, Claire here! After staying up for the last 36 hours to finish this, Chris immediately collapsed into the land of comf as soon as it was done. So it's down to me to regale you all with a fun little tale of Amazon incompetence.  First of all, let me begin by thanking Richard for the baby registry gifts sent earlier this month, including a crib mattress and mattress cover. Both are very much appreciated! Funny thing about the mattress however--we haven't actually received it yet, and Amazon is currently on their 3rd try at delivering it. I got a notification back on the 10th that a gift had been purchased from our registry, and kept an eye out for the mail for the next several days. The mattress cover arrived, and then the scheduled delivery day for the mattress itself came...and went. After giving Amazon an extra week, I started to look into things. The mattress had been shipped by UPS, and according to their tracking it was delivered to our address on the 15th. Since I most definitely did NOT miss a gigantic mattress-sized box at our gate, I can only guess it was either stolen or the driver decided to keep it for naptime breaks in the back of his truck. I contacted Amazon support and tried to explain the situation. No, I didn't order this myself, that's why it isn't in my order history. It was a gift from my registry. Yes, I know it says delivered, but I definitely didn't get it. After some back-and-forth, the agent finally understood and issued a replacement to be sent. It should have been here on the 27th. Late that afternoon, amidst a sudden pop-up thunderstorm, I get the notification it has been delivered. Perfect timing, Amazon. I drive down to the gate, getting soaked and wondering if I'm going to be burned to a crisp by the very nasty and close lightning strikes hitting every 30 seconds all around us. The mattress is nowhere to be seen.  Frustrated and cursing more than a little, I come back to the house and look up the tracking. This time it was delivered by an Amazon driver--to an address over 20 miles away at a business I used to work for back in 2014. You've gotta be kidding me. I contact support again, and the explanation is even more fun this time. No, I didn't order it, it was a gift. Yes, it's already been replaced once. No, I didn't receive this one either. Yes, I know it says delivered, but the last support agent inexplicably sent it to the wrong address.  This is apparently too much for the agent to comprehend, who gives up and transfers me to a different person. After explaining the situation AGAIN, this agent is able to talk to a supervisor and get yet another replacement issued. I made very clear this time to send it to my default address, not one that I last used seven years ago.  Next, I called up my old workplace, and they confirmed that they had received the mattress. Do I want them to hold it for me? Given that Amazon was sending a new one already and it would take me an hour just to drive out there and pick it up, I asked if they had any employees that are expecting. And they actually do, a woman who works in their call center and is due in December. I told them to give her the mattress, so Richard, you've managed to bless at least 3 different families (and/or delivery drivers) with the gift of baby sleepytimez so far. Maybe by the time this is over, Amazon will have sent a mattress to every person in Texas and you'll have single-handedly bankrupted Jeff Bezos. In the meantime, our mattress is supposed to be here Tuesday--so keep your fingers crossed, y'all. In the last post, Chris mentioned the Pokemon art competition we had for the kids while family was visiting. He also mentioned we had a few other competitions at the same time. Well, it was maybe more than a FEW. You can see all the various trophies above, which he had to order months in advance. We had trophies for Board Games, Outdoor Games, Best Murderer, Smash Bros, Monopoly, Mario Party, Croquet, Mario Kart, Best Om Nom Nom, Video Games, Biggest Heart, Biggest Fail (that's the little tiny one in front of Best Murderer), and the "I Tried" award. On the left is Chris' master list clipboard where we tallied all the points for the various competitions. It took us a whole week to get through them all, and it was a LOT of fun. Everybody won something (I got the Biggest Fail for accidentally launching my croquet mallet halfway across the yard), and winners get to keep their trophy for a whole year until we do the competitions again next summer. I'll leave it to him to talk about the Best Murderer, which was definitely my favorite and had the hottest competition of any of them. In the meantime, here's a picture of Caitlyn triumphantly apple-bobbing in the Om-Nom-Nom contest:   

76 thoughts on “Seven-Day Free Trial

    1. Doesn’t have to be old. Seeing as how it’s a printed Tee.

      Just like how you can get a Golden Girls shirt at Wal-Mart. My guess, just a shirt that had an old print on it.

  1. Ouch, isn’t she just supremely cold-blooded?
    (Reads previous comics) yes..yes she is.

    Though looks like Anise might be the one to trigger the parties downward spiral to chaos.

      1. That…is a disturbingly realistic possibility. Between Santa and Durkin, romance for the Weird One has not gone well of late.

  2. Well, at least we know weeny he showed up topless. I’m thinking that Herb might warm up to him after hearing that story. And I’m wondering how much of a chess game the girls are going to be doing to keep him in play with Cinnamon.

    I’m also thinking about a backwards shotgun wedding.

    1. My wedding 43 years ago was like that. I got my GF pregnant but didn’t find out until the ankle-biter was present. MY wife is tough though, she delivered at home and drove to the hospital with the umbilical cord and afterbirth still inside in mid-teens F weather. Anyway my Dad was the one with the shotgun. It all turned out OK though, we are still married 43+ years later.

      1. No, I was thinking of a few different things. One, Herb has the shotgun, yes. Two, it’s in Cinnamon’s back. Three, sex can’t be a weapon because, what a twist, they didn’t do it.

        Then she turns out to be a naturally better mom, than every one present. (In bizarro world)

    2. If ever there were a better excuse to show up shirtless anywhere, I can’t think of it. Even “I stopped at a burning orphanage on my way here and had to use my shirt to wrap up three babies that were partially on fire. They survived with only superficial burns, poor things, but the shirt was a complete loss.” is kind of a close second to “I got invited to a birthday party by a cute girl and had nothing to give so I gave the last thing I had: the shirt off my back.”

  3. Man that’s going to be a hard act to follow. My stomach is all tied up in knots wondering how Kyle’s present will compare. I wonder if Tarra’s apparent disinterest is due to her having also given Pumpkin a shirt or if she’s also concerned about the relative quality of her suitor’s gift.

    At least we can forgive Tarra somewhat for her forgetfulness as it seems to be a family trait to a degree.

    Kind of gotta respect Cinnamon’s ability to no sell a screaming marble-eyed lady in her face.

    Also, in response to Baby Back Ribs post from the last page, I’m thinking right now D52 is going to be too busy simply surviving in the aftermath of Summer’s rampage to worry about Pumpkin’s tie clip. Although the fact that Wilf and Pumpkin have already met could be an interesting point of contact for them to potentially exploit.

  4. Hey man, glad to see you’re chugging along… hope you’re feeling better, man.. mentally as well as physically. I see the hell that my dad goes through with his OCD; blessings, dude.

    1. The present is awful, objectively. You could make a case for movie-loving Pumpkin appreciating a VCR repair company shirt, but it’s tenuous at best.

      The backstory it comes with would blow nearly everything out of the water.

  5. As for the Amazon incompetence…this seems to be happening a LOT lately. Woes of labor shortages are blamed in large part, of course. Given everything I’ve heard about working at Amazon, though, it doesn’t surprise me that they can’t find help.

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  6. The sisters should know Cinnamon enough by now, not to be surprised by how she treats a guy. Unless this Anise being more upset because she considers him a bearded Adonis and wouldn’t care if he was some skinny no beard guy.

    1. I’m wondering how Cinn got drunk to have a drunken hookup in the first place. I remember Ellie offered her drink coupons back at Lovecon, but took the offer back figuring that Cinn would get carded.

    1. 1) It’s a comic. Logic means nothing.
      2)There are people who have their body type in the real world and they seem to do just fine.

  7. Ah, I see updates have gone on in the Patreon section.

    Perhaps those of us in the peanut gallery will be likewise blessed before the month is out.

  8. Oh, I see the bots are back. Hopefully Chris will emerge from the land of comf at some point to get some fresh content up on this side of the paywall. It helps keep the bots away.

    1. Not cool. bots memeing sports was one thing. But this is off the charts bad. It’s so bad, that a new word has to be invented to describe just how bad it is.

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