So have you heard about all those WalMart closures? Well, one’s in my town. We found out immediately after they announced it on the news. Now it’s not a full blown supercenter. It’s one of those WalMart Hometown Express Marketplace whatevers. If you’re not familiar, it’s basically a gas station, with a pharmacy, and the store is just the grocery side of a regular WalMart. Throw in some office supplies, candles and hair dye, and yeah that’s it. I live in a town with only one stop light. It’s on a mountain, everyone’s related to everyone (except me,) and their favorite pastime is placing new No Tresspassing signs on every corner of their property. If WalMart said “Yeah we gotta close some stores” it makes sense we’re one.

Still sucks. There’s not a lot of choice here without driving 30 minutes to the closest townlike-town. The mayor of here said in the local paper “There’s nothing at WalMart you can’t already buy in our town at one of our other businesses who’ve served our community for years.” So… the Dollar Store? We have a Dollar Store and a Hardees and one of those local mom and pop ‘Earl’s Food Rodeo’ places. You know… like when you go to grandma’s and she has that run down family grocery store nearby with NOTHING exciting in it, and the meat quality is questionable? Yeah. That. And Hardees food, which I can’t stand.. and the aforementioned Dollar Store. And not even a good Dollar Store (oxymoron.) It’s the kind where nothing is a dollar and every aisle is a mess.

Thanks mayor.
Remember back when I bought my kids ducklings for Easter pets, mayor? I know you do. You live on our street and gave us a citation, then the next week held a private town counsel banning “flocks of pets” from being legal in our town. D-bag..

It’s already surreal seeing a WalMart close. And I’ve gone almost every night since Friday waiting for deals. Now it’s up to 25% off everything. 5lb bag of M&M’s? YES PLEASE. My dog’s never had Oinky’s Brand Pig Ears… SHE WILL NOW. Post-Valentine’s Day markdowns on Valentine’s Day candy… PRE-Valentine’s Day?? NEVER TOO EARLY TO STOCK UP FOR HALLOWEEN.

Few things I noticed: WalMArt pretty much booted all the staff. Cut off all the self checkouts, and had one singular register open. So essentially one employee. And the other staff they replaced with one security guard manually opening and closing the front doors for customers. In observing what went first involving the markdowns, fresh meats, milk and bread were a given, easily expiring the soonest. After that, the first thing to completely sell out? Lunchables. First they came for the lunchables…

It went Lunchables > Little Debbie snacks > chips > cat litter > frozen dinners > soda. In that order.

The number one thing that didn’t sell jack? Juices. The juice shelf was fully stocked. Little boxed juices to the giant Ocean Spray and Hawaiian Punch jugs. No one wants juice. I bought two boxes of Capri Sun for my kids because I felt bad for them. I literally felt bad for juice.

So now if I want to go to WalMart, the next closest ones are 20 minutes away in opposite directions. Both of them… ALSO closing.

Sad day, guys. Sad day.