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A Convention Story

I have mentioned this in chat a number of times to people who would pop in. Most over-rated celebrity? Name em. And by that, I mean, you see a preview for a show of movie (usually movie) and you're like "Why the hell do they keep giving this person work??" And I don't even care about their talent as an actor. Or if they've had 'successful' movies. It's mostly just based on annoyances you have towards the actor. Which could be anything really. Mine was Cameron Diaz. Sorry Cameron. Half way through a movie preview I see your face and I suddenly have no intention to see it.

116 thoughts on “A Convention Story

    1. Though if you are trying to channel, with the Naruto guy, the overly enthusiastic anime fan looking for an opportunity to tell you every last detail about his obsessions, you achieved that well lol.

        1. I thought maybe it was a christmas story reference, yknow, the scene where the kids in line for santa and the kid in frront of him wearing goggles turns and says “I like santa”

    2. I cannot imagine a man having a costume for the drive over, and then a different one to actually go into a convention, Matt.

      1. The naruto fanboy has a similar over bite, skin color, and acne to Francis. I had also just woken up when I posted that and hadn’t completely screwed my brain in yet. My bad XD

        1. They both have acne and an overbite, but the skin color, facial shape, and height are different.

        2. Yea I see that now. Again, my bad. It is also the end of my final college semester so I’ve been drained to the point where I’m missing stuff like that at first glance.

        3. The major is called General Design Studies, but it’s basically graphics design. One of my goals for this summer is to do more artwork recreationally, which includes more fan-art. So the future is looking bright, but I need to recuperate for now. I’m exhausted XD

        4. It’s not that it wasn’t possible, of course. Most anything is. Just seemed unlikely is all. Took me three passes to realize the “Christmas Story” reference was intentional!

  1. …is this an “A Christmas Story” reference? That’s almost exactly what happened to Ralphie while waiting to see Santa Claus, as I recall.

      1. Yes. That. Exactly that. I just wasn’t sure it was intentional or one of those weird coincidences that hits every so often.

        If it’s intentional, man, I am absolutely LOVING all the bonus movie references that are getting tossed in of late.

        1. And now that I look at the title and think it through a little farther, I smack my head and realize it WAS intentional. Wow.

        2. Definitely intentional.

          And a hardcore Naruto fanboy would also point out that in his earliest appearances Naruto actually wore goggles instead of the now overexposed headband. I am not a Naruto fanboy but am friends with one. It’s painful sometimes.

        3. Yeah, some of this comic is just personal observation in regards to Naruto. I saw most of Season 1 and really that’s about it. I enjoyed what I saw (even though I dislike Naruto’s dorky jacket design.) But this comic came about because, while all genres of entertainment have their die-hards, no fan base seems to have more obsessive geeks than Naruto. So that’s why I chose it, and luckily, Naruto wore googles and big goofy jacket that I could use for parody of the Christmas Story kid.

  2. As for me, it’s Gwyneth Paltrow. I spent three minutes on GOOP once and almost lost several things ranging from my lunch to my sanity.

    1. When I first read the comments, I thought “This might be hard to answer…” Then, Rusche supplied the perfect answer. “Diaz… definitely Diaz.” It’s a certainty up there with Batman’s awesomeness. She’s like nega-Batman.

      Gwyneth is definitely up there for me, but I think Cameron Diaz beats her out. I think they have both gotten way more attention than they ever deserved.

    1. Same here. It’s the acne and the overbite. For a couple seconds I thought he changed his outfit, but that kid is not nearly tall enough.

  3. Mine was Will Farrell. I don’t see Cameron Diaz movies, but every time I see her on Fallon she seems like she’d be fun to hang out with.

    Are those…prescription goggles on Narutokid?

    Also, seeing the full Tails costume, it’s adorbs.

    1. I figure he’s probably feeling pretty good about himself right now, having mustered up sufficient juice to talk to a girl. Either that or this really is an “A Christmas Story” reference, and the kid’s a little…well…off.

    2. All it’s really missing is white gloves, and Tails’ little patch of hair. I’d say it’s as close to perfection as one could get.

  4. I have several over rated celebs on my list ranging from the entire cast of all the twilight movies starting with that expressionless kristen stewart to the sparkly gay vampire dude(seriously? VAMPIRES ARE NOT SUPPOSE TO SPARKLE). Then theres taylor swift(use to like her before she turned yuupie) beyonce ,oprah,The KARATRASHIANS. Jim carrey, tracy morgan. Matter of fact my list is way to long for me to list everybody so I’ll just sumom it up 100% of the folks I hate are plain out idiots :D.

    1. The only member of Twilight I would exempt from that is Anna Kendrick. Really likes her in the films she did after Twilight. Was sad to learn she was in it, but I guess work is work.

    2. I’m still baffled they put Kristen Stewart in that Snow White movie with Charlize Theron as the evil queen. I can only hope that was the result of a drunken dare and not indicative of how the casting director makes decisions sober. Theron is an *objectively* more attractive woman.

      I didn’t see the movie, though. Was it supposed to be a parody? I can only imagine the mirror scene ended with the queen looking into replacing the defective thing after a 20 minute phone call with tech support and rebooting it at least three times.

      1. Tech support would remind her that fair has multiple meanings and while they’re really shocked that only one person showed up as less likely to cheat at things than her, that’s definitely not defective on the part of the mirror so no warranty replacement for her.

  5. This boggled me when I went to a rapidly-growing con in Kentucky a couple months ago.

    The management just wasn’t ready for how fast they’ve expanded. The gate sales line barely got more than about thirty people in it at any time, while the advance ticket line wrapped around the venue’s entire food court.

    Honestly, though, what was worse was the way that the venue itself was too small for the thousands of attendees. Mick Foley was in attendance and they foolishly placed his booth right in the middle of the vendor floor; the line basically shut down one of the central traffic arteries for the floor and rendered most of the vendor booths in that area inaccessible.

    The vendors were *not* happy.

    1. I totally hear you on that. Thanks for the story. Each one of these convention strips, while still progressing the story, also parody real life experiences with conventions. The last few showed 4 different types of convention attendees. Barely dressed con-girl Ellie, cute tweeny conservative cosplaying Pumpkin, overweight girl dressed as over-sexified character, and total dork guy dressed as badass character. This is my take on the lines at conventions, which presale tickets, only to have everyone and their brother buy them early, and defeat most of the purpose (aside from making the ticket booths on opening day a bit easier to contend with… but not by much.) It’s like FastPass at amusement parks. Everyone does it enough it becomes pointless.

      This entire convention is based on Megacon, which does take place in Orlando, and the number of attendees each year multiplies exponentially. You can buy advanced tickets all you want. And get there early. It’s still Black Friday times a thousand. And poor Pumpkin thought she had an edge with Ellie working a booth. Now she’s stuck slumming it with the normies and Naruto geeks.

      1. Now’s the time for Pumpkin to start working the line: like my Tails hoodie? Buy it now!

        And Chun Li WAS a girl? Oh wow. A lot of us in the peanut gallery had been wondering; I know I was!

        1. Your point is taken. But still, I think we’ve all seen hefty dudes dress as sexy ladies for cons before.

          One word, hyphenated: Man-Faye.

          Or if you like: Sailor Bubba.

      2. Now, bear in mind that it was still, sort of, worth it to buy advanced tickets: we saved about five bucks apiece doing it as opposed to gate costs.

        Still a little disheartening. I love the con and I love the town it’s in, but I’m probably not going back next year if they have it in the same exhibit hall. They need a MUCH bigger venue.

        1. I pre-purchased for next years Rad-Con, so that I could use it to get off work that weekend. I have a paid ticket, in advance. Otherwise, it’s a crap shoot as to getting the time off.

  6. George Clooney and Brad Pitt; whatever they do they are still just George Clooney and Brad Pitt.

    I prefer actors who… act!

  7. Hee hee! yeah, I remember looking around Megacon and saying “Lotsa room for this few people”.

    That was then, this is now… hopefully the next time I end up there I’ll have a table to work from.

  8. I used to work for a vendor at conventions, selling swords and costume jewelry. Because of this I have never had to endure the con lines. The guy I was working for once suggested I attend a convention as a patron rather than as labor. I sited the lines as my primary reason for never wanting to do that.

    I’m looking forward to this whole story. My most enjoyable employment was when I worked at convention.

  9. Ok, why you gotta make all the nerds have horrible acne? There are some really attractive nerds at these things. XD

    1. Or anyone who looks kind of like him.

      Jesse Eisenberg, I’m looking at you.

      I think.

      They need nametags or something around here.

  10. Matt Damon. Unable to play any role except arrogant prick and he’s a wooden arrogant prick.

  11. Channing Tatum. He’s been doing too many movies… And The fact Ian is in this gets me excited to see the boys again :D

  12. That Tails costume is too cute and too cool.

    I love pumpkin’s response to the Naruto fan.

    She’s too grumpy to smile, but she doesn’t rain on his parade with her words.

    Very cool attitude. You’ve got to respect it.

  13. Lord.

    My spouse just observed that both Pumpkin and the Naruto fan are dressed as fox characters.

    This amuses me.

    1. Good catch! I don’t know Naruto, so that adds a layer of amusement for me I wouldn’t have previously had.

        1. Actually, since they’re both from Japan, they’re probably based on the same set of myths. Kitsune are Japanese fox spirits that gain more tails as they age and grow in power. The kyubi is immensely powerful and hundreds of years old, so he has the maximum number of tales, 9. Conversely, Tails is only a kid and not particularly powerful, so he only has 2 tails.

        2. Of course. I thought that was common knowledge by now. Foxes have a lotta myths and legends tied to them, making them ripe animals to use in fantasy worlds. Thats why they are seen often in Japanese media.

  14. I remember our city’s first ‘big con.’ We have a lot of smaller, local cons, but last year Wizard thought “You know what? Fine. You people want a con, we’ll give you a con,” and so out they came. Lots of local vendors, moderate sized crowd, fun times.

    Then everyone heard about it and decided it was awesome.

    This year, no local vendors that weren’t comic shops and it was much more crowded. I dread next year, but at the same time I hope and hope that it will be even more awesome.

  15. Holy crap Pumpkin is adorable. I still enjoy mildly annoying my youngest sister to see that face. :D Maybe Ellie will bail her out later, though.

    Side note: Is there a slogan for Onamonapiacon? Because when I first saw the name I wanted to suggest (and promptly forgot): “The most meta con since Metacon!”

    1. Does your mild annoyance of your youngest sister involve trying to get her to put on an animal nose like that too? I think that’d be a nice touch.

  16. First time commenter. Just had to say, in addition to loving the comic, I absolutely LOVE the Christmas Story reference!

    Oh, and my most overrated celebrity that keeps getting work is one Mr. Tom Cruise.

    Keep up the good work!

    1. Tom Cruise surprises by disappearing into his roles (unlike Matt Damon, an assessment made elsewhere I agree with). “Born on the Fourth of July” convinced me of his ability, and “Interview with a Vampire” proved it. He even make a trite story (white man goes native, becomes Best Leader Ever) palatable in “Last Samurai”. I disagree with his personal/religious beliefs, but they don’t get in the way of his roles. He hasn’t done anything good recently, true, but his body of work is solid, so I don’t avoid his movies because of him.

      Will Ferrell’s inclusion I agree with. I would add Adam Sandler to the list.

      1. I won’t argue that Tom Cruise has displayed talent, but for every role where he shows he can act he has at least one more where all he does is just kind of take up space and look like Tom Cruise. War of the Worlds, Oblivion, all the Mission Impossible movies after the first one.

        Nicolas Cage occupies the same sort of dubious space in Hollywood. He’s demonstrated he can act but his wheat to chaff ratio is abysmal.

      2. Hey, I’m not a big Tom Cruise fan, but that is not what happened in The Last Samurai. Tom Cruise’s character was wholly unimportant for almost the entire movie. Yeah, he went native, but spent as a native he spend all of his time as a subordinate to Ken Watanabe’s character. The samurai clan didn’t adopt any new methods of fighting after he showed up, either. The most important thing Tom Cruise’s character winds up doing was in the last few seconds of the movie, when he begins telling the new emperor about Ken Watanabe’s way of life that was being eradicated.

        Saying Tom Cruise became the best leader ever in The Last Samurai is no different than saying the narrator of 300 was a leader because he didn’t die alongside the king.

    2. Tom Cruise is my pick as well. Has been since my attempt to watch Mission Impossible 2, though to be fair it was more unintentionally hilarious than painful. The only thing I’ve seen him in since that I’ve liked his performance was Tropic Thunder. Otherwise his inclusion in a movie is a strong hint that I don’t want to have anything to do with it.

  17. Oh god it’s a Naruto fan. I HATE going to conventions with them. They used to be so cool but they’ve lost all their cred and now all the fans are just dorks! Some of them are ok, so don’t get me wrong it’s not all of them but geez.

  18. Pumpkin better be careful, she could POSSIBLY be mistaken for the nine tails form, although possibly missing the nine tails….haha

    1. “You’ve got the wrong number of tails! Fake Geek Girl!” …which is an unfunny reality for many con-going women…

      1. In the show Naruto (and the crappy sequel), Naruto (the main character) is the host of a fox demon with nine tails. So she’s saying that Pumpkin could be mistaken for the nine tailed demon except she’d be short a few tails.

  19. I’ve always wanted to go to a convention- they always sound like fun, but when people start to talk and get to the heart of the matter, I only ever hear bad stuff. Sure, they always say “yeah, I had fun,” but hearing that AFTER you talk about waiting in line for hours makes me wonder otherwise.

    Honestly- all of you convention goers can make a guy paranoid! XD

    And on the subject of actors- Adam Sandler. Didnt like him. Ever. Not even as a kid.

    1. I mean, I really don’t build up any animosity towards actors all that much. I have favorite actors, though, (Liam Neeson, Anthony Hopkins and Tom Hanks) but I don’t see an actor’s face and then just walk outta the theater. Even bad actors have can have their day. Adam Sandler, for example- dont like the guy, but his death in Click was kinda sad. Kinda.

  20. I would have to say my “Why are they in this movie?” would be any on their way out singer/songwriter/popstar/Hip-hop persona. Mostly because they bought the role. And you can always tell, their name will be close to top billing and then they’ll be in the movie for a total of “blink and you’ll miss it”.

    1. That also goes for a a certain music personality that decided since he wasn’t relevant in music any more, he would crank out piss poor remakes of classic horror films and shitastic “original” movies

      1. Shaq’s an interesting character. At the height of his popularity I found him extraordinarily irritating, but as time’s gone on I’ve heard a lot of good stories about him and the things he’s done but didn’t make a big deal about.

  21. As for cons: When Salt Lake City had their first Con last year I was tempted, but decided to not go for two reasons:

    1) I can’t justify paying to have my pictures taken/autograph of a celebrity and artist area didn’t have anybody I really wanted to see. Mind you if my favorite author/artist had a booth their, no lines could hold me back.

    2) Being on staff of a large gaming convention and having to deal with all the headaches of running something with a die-hard fanbase, I took one look at the floor plan and knew it was way too small. I knew the fire-code (?) would limit the number of people who could be inside by a crazy number and cons are not in/out events but long wanderings. The news was talking about people having to wait 2+ hours 90+ degree heat to get into the event and they would let people in after someone left.

    1. Yeah. That definitely sucks. In order to have a proper convention, get the most space you can rent while making just the slightest in profit margins. That way, if you can get the required number of people to attend each day lower than the number of people that allowed by the fire code over a four hour period, then that’s just kudos. Right?

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