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Batwoman

Hey guys. This one ran longer than expected. Up today. Around noonish. Anise's removal of her pigtails and headband is a spoof of George Costanza's odd habit of always taking his shirt off to use the bathroom. Why does Anise need to let down her hair? Who knows. It's just Anise. She's weird. Same with the broken pocket watch and facial tattoos. But you can't see those.

102 thoughts on “Batwoman

    1. It’s easier, much easier to clean oneself up, if the IBS is so severe, containment failures may result at either end of the alimentary canals points of terminus.

      Removal of decorative features allows for quicker facilitation of expedited sanitationary procedures to allow for maximum acceptance in socio-economic-emotional sub groups in sub groups of the local populations or either historical significance or immediate location.

      And if Allison is any teacher, fresh unmentionables in case of an accident.

  1. Did Anise spend 12 hours in the can? O_0

    James will now stop at nothing to make Quinn his.

    And Chris has dropped all pretext and is merrily dumping gas on the fire now.

    1. SPECIAL visit. as in, wtf why is he showing up now and im not at my post and I be lookin all haggard omg vcnxmbncbxmbznzxzxzc

      1. Either they are much quicker at getting puke out of those velvet seat covers than I would expect or Santa is getting a surprise when he sits down.

        1. If you’re one of those people who believes being hungover isn’t a disabilty, then you’ve never had a real hangover.

      2. Looking all haggard AND pantsless will at least draw attention. Especially when you add running like mad to the santa area and probably skidding/sliding on the stop attempt due to water on your shoes from the bathroom.

    2. I would say, two hours tops, which would put the clock at 11:35. However, the comic book store trip, ten minutes and then allowances for female shopping chronological wave forms, the total time from the gastro-intestinal collapse may have only been . . . carry the two… fourth power logarithmic functions…. Pi divided by i… Binomial…. Theorem 6-1… And taking into account that in non Euclidean space, for every line and a point not on a line, that there are no lines that can be drawn exactly parallel to the given line.. 45 minutes from asking what the tiny one wants to being catty about it.

  2. I will now use the ONLY good thing that came from Toby Mcquire as Spider-Man given Quinn’s comment.

    *clears throat*

    Oh yeah! Evil victory dance, Evil victory dance!

    lol

    1. “The ONLY good thing to come from Toby Mcquire”?

      Are you saying that you didn’t like any of the 3 Spider Man movies?

    2. How can you say that the fake movie preview at the start of Tropic Thunder for Robert Downey Jr’s character isn’t good? That joke required the first movie.

  3. Do comic book shops actually have Black Friday sales? All of the ones near me either had none or they were combined with music stores and only music and DVDs were on sale.

        1. Not what I heard, they have to pay a fine for not being open. But if you can prove me wrong, by showing me something in black and white, (Printed, or full size URL, or something like that would satisfy Mr. Stephens) I’d buy it for a dollar and ninety-eight cents.

        2. I think there are a handfull of different companies that own most malls, but there are potentially still some independents. Not all malls would have to have the same rules.

        3. ‘Round here, the building will open early–7 or 8a– so the geriatric population has a place to walk/exercise.

        4. It really depends on the desirability of the property.

          Really hot ones can demand what they want; less popular ones are more open to negotiation…

        5. What would really be awesome, if there was a cop car chase inside the mall crossing Anise’s path, Cinnamon’s path and all of the cops have to drive into a Jewel’s because Blind Guy, a.k.a. Mr. Stephens walked out of the audio visual store with his headphones on.

          But, Jake and Elwood burst through the J.C. Penny’s after the guy got his, wait, which one was he asking about?

        6. Elwood: It’s 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark… and we’re wearing sunglasses.

          Jake: Hit it.

        7. Mystery Woman: You contemptible pig! I remained celibate for you. I stood at the back of a cathedral, waiting, in celibacy, for you, with three hundred friends and relatives in attendance. My uncle hired the best Romanian caterers in the state. To obtain the seven limousines for the wedding party, my father used up his last favor with Mad Pete Trullo. So for me, for my mother, my grandmother, my father, my uncle, and for the common good, I must now kill you, and your brother.

  4. 1. For reasons I do not understand, I find Quinn very sexy in this comic.
    2. I do not see any correlation between an obsession with batgirl and anything other than getting shot in the spine…or wanting to fight crime.
    3. FACIAL TATTOOS!?? I wish to see :3

        1. It’s not scowling, condescending, or manipulative. That’s fairly rare for Quinn’s facial expressions, and she does always look better in those instances.

    1. Batwoman was never shot in the spine. Batgirl is a different character.

      Batwoman=lesbian

      Ex-Batgirl=parapalegic

      Current Batgirl=asian assassin

      1. I’m not aught up with the comic so correct me if I’m wrong, but wasn’t the latest Batgirl a blonde teenager and a former Robin(there waay too many Robins)?

        1. Yes, in the REAL DCU. The former assassin apparently chose Batman (Bruce) over Robin (Tim)(Just to keep track). As Bruce only digs bad girls (her own mother [also assassin] is one of his off and on “Girl-Frienamies”), so she went back to the family business. Primarily management, though. At some point she passed the costume over to the “turns out not dead after all” blond, former stalker of Robin (Tim).

          The fake one (New 52 Universe) is all messed up, though.

  5. Instead of pestering Ellie about Pumpkin’s alleged sexuality ,shouldn’t Quinn be doing some Christmas shopping of her own? I knew she didn’t care too much about her mother(she could still buy some token present for her,I guess) but she would at least be getting something for her brother and father.Unless her relationship with them is more estranged than what have been let on , that is.

    1. Dad’s off in Syria; what’s she going to do, mail it? And I don’t think we even know what happened to her brother.

      1. It is still around one month to Christmas (in the story),right?Daddy could come back before that ,or she could gave him a premature/belated present whenever he’s back.

        Maybe it is just me but I’m getting a vibe that Quinn doesn’t want or haven’t been spending enough time with her brother(if he’s still alive ),hence the condition that her her father set.

        1. I think that her father is going to be in Syria supervising the weapons of mass destruction removal by the Danish Navy, and until they can check off all of the boxes, he’s probably going to stay that way for two years.

    2. I’m betting Quinn’s the online shopping type for her own gifts, and online Black Friday sales started at the start of November this year, so she might already be done.

  6. You know, I hate (love) going back to talking about whales, but honestly, it sounds like batgirl is the aquaman of the female audience. Only, you know, not completely pathetic and obsessed with whales.

        1. Now why would I fight somewhere except a location absolutely favoring me? Sun Tzu would roll over in his grave.

      1. I didn’t know that CBS used DC characters in their daytime soap operas. . I may have to hide for a few hours now.

        Does the bathroom at your place of employment have either decent wifi or acceptable levels of television waveform propagation?

        1. A soap opera populated by B-list and below superheroes is one that I think I’d actually watch.

        2. …I think you’re thinking “The Bold and the Beautiful.” “Brave & The Bold” was a cartoon on Cartoon Network. May still be, as I remember.

          Besides, all the superhero soap operas are on the CW.

    1. Original Batwoman = Rich lady with a thing for Batman

      Rebooted, current Batwoman = lesbian

      Original – Batgirl = parapalegic (Shot in spine by Joker

      Current Batgirl = Asian assassin

  7. Juniper may not think it now, but leaving the line was a good move. What if she shat/farted/sharted on Santa? No, even if she ends up waiting, like, hours to see Santa it would be worth not doing something godawful embarrassing like that with him.

    1. It sucks always being mistaken for whatever sister is doing something horrible. Let me break it down. If it involves sex or heavy drinking it was probably me. If it is something incredibly stupid it was Cinnamon. If it involves public pants crapping, Anise is your girl. And if she really isn’t wearing pants it’s because she crapped them and threw them away. I bet she’s wearing those Jack Skellington panties. The whole Christmas weirdy thing. But my guess is she’s just trying to distract everyone because she needs to take an insane shortcut to reach Santa.

      This scooter needs a radio.

      1. Mr. Blue would snap his fingers, in order to make three burly guys with no facial hair appear, with tools and accessories to install a satellite radio, bass system, lowered chassis and mag wheels on your scooter. But some people may think that Mr. Blue is just too far out fantastic to be believed.

        Hey, here’s a bottle for ya.

    2. I’m looking forward to Anise’s reaction if this particular mall Santa has a fake beard. Especially after running for it the way she will be.

      1. I maintain a live feed of the announcements at the mall. Ever since that, accident, with the old cell phone mom gave me when I was a lot younger. I took it apart and retuned the radio, so now, yeah. I meant to get it to work with 4g.

    1. One of the first (ok, not the first) and hottest men in Judiasm with whom Anise would be highly interested in. Perhaps she saw The Ten Commandments with Charlton Heston as a kid or something.

        1. If she didn’t have the capacity to take things seriously, have fine motor control, and recognize which things have to be dealt with carefully/precisely, then she wouldn’t have been able to keep a tattoo parlor open. Sure, a guy will put up with more from a hot girl than he would from someone else, but the number of guys who wouldn’t draw the line on that before tattoos is probably too small of a client base to keep her shop open.

          So my guess is that if she owns a gun, she treats it with the proper respect due an object legally designated as a “deadly weapon” pretty much anywhere.

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