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Faux Heartbreak

I did my final read-through of that and I'm just like, wow. What a soap opera. Quinn's probably off getting some amnesia somewhere. Like at Walgreens. I hear it's over-the-counter now. Ellie does have six sisters. Maybe they're all evil twins...   With goatees. The sixth sister just has six goatees stacked on top of each other.

80 thoughts on “Faux Heartbreak

        1. Oh, I know… and I have been. He’s just got that sort of… ‘smarminess’ that some people have. The kind that just rubs you the wrong way.

        2. The kind where is he were to shake your hand you’d feel unclean the rest of the day… my skin crawls just thinking about it.

  1. Silly Alex, it should be obvious if you knew anything about Ellie the key to getting into Ellie’s pants is stuffed plushy’s,

    As for Alex, I think a certian feminist from ESG would put it best.

    *clears throat*


    Still, love how you wrote Ellie here, you have her pretty balanced. She’s got a soft side to her, some good qualities that are pretty close to the surface, she’s basically a good person, just lazy and selfsh, like 90% of the American population.

  2. Interesting. Most characters drawn without visible eyes are done so to create a type of distance between themselves and the reader. It makes them harder to identify with and harder to “read.” It’s ironic that now that I can see Alex’s eyes I feel even more distant from him that before. Any sympathy I may have once had for this guy (and I won’t lie, there was a little) has been destroyed by this display of unabated douchery and the display of escalating immaturity was impressive.

    1. interesting that you say that. Another view would be to say that now we see his eyes, its when we see his true character.

    2. Alex has been spurned twice. Now by two different women. Instead of handling rejection maturely, he’s throwing some sort of hippy tantrum since he’s not getting what he wants.

      1. And we aren’t surprised by that because of his burrito exploding experiences during breakfast? Nah, he’s a jerk, and he’s never gotten past the high school thing with the sensitive artist thing being able to get any girl he wants. He’s going to go van gogh one of these days and cut his nose off to spite his face.

  3. I’ll be honset I’ve hated alex from the moment I seen him. dirty smelly artist fartsy hippie/hipster ultra liberal types I got no love for. An I really can’t stand alex he is all that an he’s a dumbass on top of it.

      1. My guess is from a similar situation to mine. Multiple bedrooms in one building and shared bathroom. This personal situation relative to my story had smelly, artsy fartsy, food stealing dork.

    1. I don’t know, I thought Alex might have had some redeeming qualities. This totally pulls the plug on that one. There’s kind of a line that he crossed with that last panel. (BTW, I doubt if he has that power as well as he thinks he does. I’d rather see what mutton-chops from the art class a few pages ago could have done.)

    2. If Alex is a legit liberal I’ll eat my boxers. Liberalism encompasses feminism. I could happily link to a few dozen feminist websites about guys like Alex–but I can give you the TL;DR right now: He’s a douchebag, and wouldn’t recognize legit feminism until it kicks him in the crotch.

      1. just 2 cents

        R.I.N.O s: Gasp in astonishment! Hardened Rs: Glare at his lack of ‘tact’ or his recklessness in rushing a half baked plan.

        I.o.W = ‘Right-wings’ would disown him.

  4. I normally enjoy Ellie’s commentary, especially lately since she has kind of stopped taking everyone’s crap. It’s like her honesty becomes more brutal week by week. But “ridic?” Really Ellie? That’s a word you say when you’re trying to be goofy or snarky. You just don’t say it when you’re storming out of the room and want to be taken seriously. That’s almost as bad as people who actually say “OMG” verbally to express genuine surprise or frustration.

    Also, Alex, drawing women naked if they won’t let you nail them? I haven’t read that book on your shelf, but if I had to guess I’d say it probably does not refer to the behavior you are describing as a “power”.

  5. I think im the only one not mad at Alex. Just disappointing. Hes so pathetic loser I just hope he gets “better”.

    That said Ellie was just perfect in this strip. Its amazing how Comic strip characters are unable to get tongue tied and express themselves so clearly..

    1. I’m kinda in that boat with we. I was hoping this.would have been what he needed to try and give his life perspective.

  6. It just occurred to me that in the comedic karma sense of the universe Alex and Ellie will end up becoming attracted to one another and end up getting together. Whether or not that actually happens remains to be seen.

    1. I would apply the John Hughes Karma sense and definitively derive that Alex and Ellie will not be an item in any way sense or form.

      1. Well they do say misery loves company and nothing brings people together quiet like a common enemy.

        1. Now, if this comic were to follow the traditional story scheme… somewhere down the line Ellie’s going to be put in a circumstance where she’s asked to risk something in giving Alex a chance to redeem himself. Not soon, mind, but I’d give it a year or a few hundred pages, whichever come first.

        2. Ewwwwwwwwwwwww, no way. Future Ellie would steal Doc Brown’s time machine and create a moral paradox.

  7. I’m not so much pissed at Alex as disappointed. Maybe it’s being about Quinn so much but he seems to have mastered the art of deflection. Despite the fact that Ellie felt real sympathy for the guy, his first choice is to believe that this is just her way of retaliating to Quinn’s treatment of her. (Which, granted, was also true.) Sadly, I can kind of understand Alex’s point of view. As flawed as it is, I’ve met guys that think like this… Hell, I’m friends with guys that thought like this when they were in college.

    Now, I will admit that Ellie is highly selfish. She has several sisters, which means she has to take what she can when she can. Additionally, she’s pretty enough that she’s learned that she can just let guys do stuff for her and buy her things and usually doesn’t have to give anything in return. In fact, she’s aggressive enough to give guys the boot when they get too ballsy. She could have even let this entire situation alone and watch Quinn burn both her boy-bridges. Instead, she burned one of them for her, which she may not like but is better in the long run.

    What I really want to see is someone pointing out to Quinn how badly she really treats people…

  8. …. or Alex can just use the internet to find badly photoshoped pictures of her naked or headswaped on a nude celebrity of his choice, i mean heck almost the rest of the world has that power.

  9. Man, gone for a while and it gets all intense….I need to not skip this.

    On another note…thanks to Alex those searches for S.S. Porn or Ellie Naked may now be met with results hahahaha

  10. I was just looking at the above and considering what an amazing range of facial expressions are in this comic. Lots of them pretty much have a character standing in one place – ala South Park.

    Say, I was trying to think of a subtle way of reminding people that Chris DOES take donations. He has to be whipped and beaten to do it, but he will take them. Any suggestions?

  11. Way to go Alex, you just lost any sympathy I had for you. You know you’re in the wrong here, no amount of deflection or sass will ever change that. If you’re that desperate to get out of your relationship with Quinn, just break up with her already.

    1. Personally, I would not say that it’s the key per se, but something for her to think about in terms of level of sustenance for the long term run with the relationship, nu?

    2. Well, there is the Jared diet at Subway, and I’m assuming that the Chicken Terryakki was either the monthly foot long special, or it’s one of Ellie’s favorite sandwiches.

      But then, when compared to the Subway sandwich, just how many calories would a Red Lobster dinner have anyway?

  12. ‘…that power…’? Whoop-di-doo bub. Anyone can draw a naked human torso with all of the attachments required and put someone’s head and face on it. That doesn’t make the result any different than photo-shopping
    two pictures together… Its just pieces parts assembled to taste.

  13. Damn, Alex The Bum went from being kinda annoying to downright loathsome. And then he just keeps making it worse.

    As an aside I don’t think we have seen his art yet so does he have that power?

  14. I’m imagining Alex with his pencil in the air like He-Man now.

    I HAVE THE POWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111!

  15. What I adore about this strip is that it’s not perfectly one-sided. Ellie has mixed motives, as does Quinn, for their actions. They aren’t perfect angels just set up to contrast against the general awfulness that is Alex–they’re real people.

  16. I still can’t get over the fact that he has EYES under his glasses. Though, I must admit, I’m not sure what else to expect to be under glasses.

  17. I’m starting to get sick of how EVERYONE seems to think Ellie is better than everyone else, and the guy who gets whipped by bitches is the bad guy. I don’t think ANYONE is the ‘good guy/girl’ at all at this point

    1. You’re misreading, then. There’s a difference between “Ellie is better than everyone else” and “Ellie’s not quite as bad as the other two”. She’s only being cast in a positive light, generally, by comparison to the other two; taken in a vacuum, she’s a narcissist and a mooch, at best.

      Alex, OTOH, is genuinely at the bottom of the heap, because his conduct is utterly awful. The closest thing he’s done to positive behavior is fix Quinn’s car. Everything else was either abhorrent in its own right, or an attempt to manipulate others. He has all the flaws of the other two, with an added massive dose of Doesn’t Understand Consent.

        1. Well, I may just be one person against the whole world and disagree with some people but I seriously doubt that there’s any order in the scheme to me. They’re all awful “equally” people on the same level but I feel that Alex is getting too much shit from people while Quinn and Ellie just seem terrible to begin with

        2. I also HATE Ellie because she seems to think herself better than others and judge others poorly. I think she’s the “most wrong” for now… her sympathy is pity, and pity is never good for a woman/man deemed “unattractive”

        3. … thank you, that means a lot to me now that someone told me that (I’m indecisive) :S

        4. My two cents – Ellie is selfish and self centered, but I can forgive her some of that because she’s still pretty young – maybe 19. Quinn is self centered and arrogant (which often disguises a LOT of insecurity) and her life is being paid for by daddy .. which is another reason for massive insecurity. And Alex Alex got sucked in by thinking that he wasn’t being forward enough and that if he just let a girl know what he was feeling, she’d be receptive. His anger sounded to me like a lot of hurt and embarrassment, which turns to anger automatically for .. well .. just about every one of us.

          So .. crap .. they’re all just real people?

        5. I CALL SKINNY BI.. wait, I vote for real people.

          However, I would have to say that Alex seems to be the stereotypical American male, who has been led by media around by the nose whenever a well endowed female is around. Heck, that’s half of marketing. Put a company’s name on a sweater, and find someone to make it look curvy. Curvy in the right way that is appealing and makes people want to spend money.

          Ellie has been skating through life on her looks, up to the point where it passes into her comfort zone and stuff. Like the cross dressing math teacher, the guy sniffing her sneakers, the cable man. She did not let the hick by the tobacco products for his kids. She did have problems standing up to Eustis (?) Nra 4 eva tattoo guy. However, she did get irritated with the get mart manager who chewed her out.

          Quinn, I’ve said this before, and I’m thinking that part of her insecurity/dealing with people issues may stem from her father’s military management style and such. Before now, we’ve only seen two sides of her. Bitchy and wonderlust, so to speak. Now she’s exploring a new plethora of personalities and people who she does not feel the need to be bitchy around and they accept her for her, as it seems. James may actually be helpful here. Who knows.

          Alex, he needs to get his shit straightened up before he stands tall before the man. Otherwise, he’s going to be a dork who marries the first girl who pays him any kind of attention and become a male chauvinistic pig as well.

  18. oN A completely different subject…is Kenju’s state ‘California’ or a place like the Bronx? With a life style similar to the “Boondocks”?

    -_-; Wow…still doesn’t feel right, even though I didn’t reply to it.

  19. “I can just draw you naked. I have that power!”

    Dang, someone a few pages ago is either a comments-section time traveler or guessed that perfectly.

    I love the author’s comment that Alex is a total ridic.

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