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Guy vs Guy

Floppy Face   Finally. The end of Chapter Two. Much longer than I originally planned.. but I added Quinn's trip to the movies and moved up the sisters substory to fit in. Chapter 1 was 73 strips, while Chapter 2 was 121. But, eh.. however many it takes to tell the story. Writing this comic is always duel layered. It's whatever the reader is presented upfront, and whatever I'm laying down in the background. So after some time, you have to go back and pick up everything you dropped. I got much of it.

143 thoughts on “Guy vs Guy

  1. Okay, this totally re-affirms my Gov’t Agent Blind Guy theory.

    Also, this fight would get, like, a billion hits on youtube. Because we are a sad species.

    1. … should I be ashamed I started picturing this YouTube video set to Welcome to the Jungle? :(

  2. At first I thought Rusche had faked us all out by defending the teacher angle, and Blind Guy is Quinn and Ellie’s true landlord and/or building manager. But, I guess that would make 3 people who know him (Blind Guy, Quinn, and KK). Maybe he is? I don’t know, I’m so confused.

    Then again, I don’t know many landlords that would punch their residents. This seems more like

    1. …like he is arguing on their behalf, not that Tired Guy is trying to get Blind Guy to evict them (which was my first impression).

      Geez, all the true names we have of males in this strip, they might as well by Disney princes.

      1. Well, several of the princes have names, I think it’s just “The Prince” from Snow White and the classic “Prince Charming” from Cinderella who don’t have names. At the same time, there’s only guys in this comic that don’t have names, so that works.

        1. True, they have names, but how many people remember them (without using the internet)? Quick quiz:

          Princess > Prince
          Snow White > ?
          Sleeping Beauty > ?
          Cinderella > ?
          Ariel > ?
          Belle > ?
          Jasmine > ? (yeah, this one’s a gimme)
          Mulan > ?

  3. On an unrelated topic, I was totally thrown by the use of the phrase ‘chin music’. Wasn’t until I saw the Driving Miss Daisy spoof while looking for the ‘Moving In’ strip that I realized Rusche meant it to mean talking. I’ve always associated it with a pitcher throwing high and inside.

  4. I… wow. Blind Guy just clocked Tired Guy. I… don’t think that will go over too well in the future.

    I know Tired Guy is a big jerk sometimes… but decking the elderly is kind of… rude. Yeah? No? Just me? Oh… okay then.

      1. oh! so it will play out to be a mercy killing.

        seriously though… i’m getting the vibe that he is really protecting the brunette than the blonde here. I wonder if her dad sent him to protect his little girl and he got a bit infatuated with her latest roommate.

      2. Oh boy… foreshadowing… this is why people need to be reading the comments section.

        I do wonder… what, exactly, will make this all play out “differently”, later? Well… I know you won’t/can’t say anything about it… but, now you’ve got me curious, and really wanting to see how it all plays out.

        1. It will turn out that Tired Guy is actually in the process of overthrowing the government and his secret lair needs to be expanded into the girls aparment to make room for the tank of sharks with frickin lazer beams but Blind Guy is onto him. Of course after their epic showdown Blind Guy will talk Tired Guy back from the dark side and they will form the widely acclaimed team up of “Guy and Guy.”

        2. Nice… I didn’t expect to see cross seeding between here and twogag =) I think the series peaked with the baby shower strip but it remains on my must read list.

        3. If you knew the therapy was going to be permanent regadless, I would have a very hard time not using the sessions to just mess with the therapist.

    1. It IS rude to deck the elderly. It’s also profoundly wrong to clock the blind. So when the blind and the elderly fight, who can claim greater offense?

      1. Well Counselors, the plaintiff states that the defendant pummeled him into a pulp while hurling viscous epithets and such while retreating from him in a public park for senior citizens to frolic. Arguments?

        1. Ah, yes, your honor, it seems that the Blind Bomber here decided to go and talk to the Cryptkeeper on behalf of a hot chick and her grumpy friend, who had recently had their own altercation with said EC Comics figurehead. The conversation rapidly went south, and that ended with aforementioned fist directly to the elderly jaw in question.

    1. I am reading this in the future, and it definitely feels different now.

      Before it was just cathartic. But now I am disappointed that Blind Guy stopped after one punch.

      Keep up the good work BG!

    1. Since they are the managers it is a given.

      My store was much less high class. We just chucked vodka into the slushies.

  5. Wow, look at the stones on Blind Guy! Hahah- get it? LOOK at the stones… on… erm… okay, that was severely inappropriate. Sorry.

    On a more serious topic, I find it passing amusing that Tired Guy completely has the situation pegged- I initially thought him a more senile individual, but something tells me he’s a much more intelligent than we’ve actually been shown so far. A cunning evil, is a greater evil.

    I’m also quite proud of Blind Guy- he ended up leaving Ellie at the restaurant, but quickly went to the apartment building to help her and Quinn. That’s a stand up dude, right there.

    1. On a completely unrelated topic, I’ve noticed that so far, most of the male leads have had something on their faces. Alex and Blind Guy both wear sunglasses, as does the pervy artist in Alex’s class. Jeremy was introduced smoking, and Tired Old Guy constantly has a breathing tube in his face. Even that one time extra early on in the comic- the one that was gonna kick his wife out to get Ellie to stay- was wearing glasses, despite Rusche saying that he doesn’t like to normally draw them.

      Is this an intentional occurrence? Most of the guys (typically main characters) are shown having something on their faces? Is it for a quick identification? or is it simply to add more character? But I find it odd that shades would be somewhat prominent in the males, while the females typically don’t have any such accessories.

        1. On of the signs of good character design is that you can tell the characters apart just from their profiles (no internal detail). Rusche has mastered this.

        2. Yes he has. The flip side to that is if you can only tell characters apart based on hair styles (or even worse color pallete) you probably have to step up your game.

    2. Actually filing a police report about Quinn cutting his oxygen line is something that shouldn’t be delayed if he plans to use it. Throwing in an “Oh yeah, she did something potentially life threatening that can be classified as assault a few months ago, just forgot to mention it before…” would make him seem too calculating for building evidence as opposed to having a legitimate complaint.

      1. I’m also surprised that they haven’t gotten in trouble yet for that. I have a crazy neighbor who hates us and we have to be soooo careful so that there’s nothing she can claim (truthfully) against us.

  6. Well, I certainly didn’t…see.. that one coming. I like how Blind Guy tries the olive branch first, then resorts to the chin music when Tired Guy is less than receptive. Pray for peace, but prepare for war.

    Well played, Blind Guy.

    1. Oh and for the love of all things just and fair, be sure to vote on the link to the right. This comic needs to be in the Top 10. Sheesh!

    1. Rusche did say in the last comic that we’d have more fuel for stalker theories after this comic.

      Granted, they said the apartment is reasonably close to the restaurant (don’t know that Ellie has a car), and the restaurant is also reasonably close to school, so it might be decent distance for Blind Guy getting back and forth to work. It might also be on his way home and he heard her there (lack of sight makes it less feasible for him to know exactly which door would be hers, and thus Tired Guy’s though, without actively seeking it). If I didn’t have to get to work I’d consider a quick archive trawl to see if I could spot him as a background character near Ellie & Quinn’s apartment. Maybe this evening.

      1. You think you might find him peering in the window or something? Maybe hiding in the bushes across the street, watching from a distance?

        My guess is he asked someone who knows where she lives, where she lives.

        1. The blind part does get rid of “Peeping Tom” possibilities, I was more meaning something like walking the other way on the sidewalk while Alex spit takes a burrito. Not looking for a sign of spying, but looking for the previous evidence of future plot point (an “but I just live two more blocks that way, and it’s not like I can drive” type of explanation).

        2. Heh, when you first mentioned going back and looking for him, I’ll admit the first thing that came to mind was the “peeping tom” stalker scenario. Then I had to slap myself for being an idiot.

          It’s possible, with his super hearing and echolocational abilities allowing him complete situational awareness, that he might have been nearby at some point and would therefore know where Ellie lives. But if she saw him it’d all be over – so I suspect he would have employed some degree of stealth. Which means neither you or I would be remotely capable of finding him.

        3. I did actually go back and look yesterday. Didn’t spot him in any crowds, including the one that helped Ellie move in. Granted, I may have missed him, but I’m giving up on the idea of a previous view.

    2. Waiting for someone on a street corner two blocks from the restaurant, getting the dog to follow the smell of Pantene that far.

      “Excuse me, I’m looking for my father. I just can’t seem to find the right address. He’s a crotchety old man, senile and vile. Spits curse words all the live long day, and he’s bald and on oxygen. he also doesn’t have the courtesy of wearing a shirt under his bathrobe.”

  7. I walk to the apartment and I can’t even see,
    There’s this tired guy and he’s yelling at me,
    I have a chip on my shoulder
    And I not afraid to show it,
    I’m blind guy and I know it!

      1. and right about now it’s time to have some fun.
        The Last Outlaw, that is my name,
        and I know the fly spot where they got the champagne.

      1. Yes! All of my yes!!! I love Haiku’s and that that just made so much sense, yes! Richie, you have just made my day!, and how I needed it badly.

  8. Ooooh so he’s a Private Investigator, thats quite a twist lol. I bet in reality that would be pretty effective, no one would suspect it thats for sure, and he’d get a good look at a persons true nature due to how they treat/react to him because of his disability. Very nice, very sneaky.

    Also we learned that Blind Guy knows Shoryuken!

    1. Sounds like this’ll be a better show than “Jake and the Fatman.” Let’s call it, “Blind Guy and the Hot Fox Detective Variety Hour Show, live from Lakeland, Florida’s Comedy Hot Spot.”

      1. I kind of like the idea. The fictional detective Nero Wolfe never left his home, sending out an assistant named Archie Goodwin to look at evidence and interview suspects; then Archie Goodwin would deliver a report, and Nero Wolfe would deduce things. If Nero Wolfe were blind, it shouldn’t change much; he would still have his assistant going out and looking at stuff, then telling him about it. And Blind Guy actually could go out and touch, smell, and listen to crime scenes and witnesses, so he actually would have more information to go on than Nero Wolfe.

        Of course if your idea were turned into a TV show, the show’s writers would subject us to an insufferable endless romantic tension between Blind Guy and Ellie. I wish we could see a TV show where the romantic tension is resolved by the end of the first season, and after that we get a Thin Man or Hart to Hart situation, where the protagonists simply are a couple together.

        1. I think the original guess of School Teacher fits best. As a matter of fact if you check the redacted Bio for Blind Guy the last word on the first line looks like it would be school and the beginning of the second line looks to be English teacher.

          Btw. Guy vs Guy title make me want to read Mad Magazine

        2. Rusche has pretty much confirmed that the guess was correct, and that Blind Guy is Pumpkin’s high school English teacher. And now this… well spotted!

          That redacted text really does seem to say: “XXXXXX as a high school English teacher. XXXXXX” Hmm, I’m nearly certain that the very last redacted word is “government”… the descenders look right. (And assuming that is the bottom of a ‘g’, there is a matching descender in the right place to be the ‘g’ in “high school”.)

          Huh, something I never noticed before: the redacted text is in a completely different font, one that resembles an “impact” printer (also known as a dot-matrix printer). Yet another thing to think about…

          Hmm, that may not have any real significance; it might just be that Rusche used Microsoft Paint to do the redacted text image. :-/

        3. Er, did I say it was in the right place to be the ‘g’ in “high school”? I meant it is in the right place to be the ‘g’ in “English”. :-/

        4. Oh and if that guess was right, then I just figured he could have found out where she lived like he did about the job. Pumpkin could know where and he over heard her and Ashliii talking about it at school.

        1. dang it. Happy Birthday Chris.

          grumbles that the alligator symbols ate his post about yelling for three minutes a simple “Happy Birthday.”

  9. 2nd to last panel just gives me a weird vibe.
    Maybe it’s because TG doesn’t look evil – in fact, he looks like a peaceful, slightly senile old man.
    OMG! He just needed face feels to let his heart grow three si…
    Oh wait, when he comes to, he’ll be more evil then ever.
    Nevermind.

    1. What with him being Tired Guy, I’d say that it would be his gall bladder that would grow three sizes that day, from all the venom he’s going to spit later on.

  10. “Who cares?”
    You do, Ellie. You do.

    And careful with the old man there, BG; I would guess he bruises easily. And hiring a third party to carry out a hit (ha!) on him will only give him more evidence to have the girls evicted.

    Also, Chris – I’d bet that each chapter will get longer and longer, as you have more details to cover in each. The only way to shorten them may be to split some of them in half, which still may not help much. That’s okay though, long chapters aren’t really a problem for us readers – speaking for myself, at least, at no point was I thinking, “Oh god when will this chapter end already so the next one will start?”

    Of course, if you were taking a short break between each chapter, I can see how shorter chapters might benefit you.

  11. RIGHT IN THE SMACKER BAHAHAHAHAHA.

    while I do not condone acts of violence I do find this hilaaariiouuss. hahahahah. His face right before he gets bopped is just funny to me.
    Awww Ellie is sad panda! or..mad panda? WHO KNOWS.

    1. I have to approve of the author’s right and priveldge to allow characters to pummel themselves within the confines of a publication, and said fight falls under the freedom of speech garunteed under the First Amendment.

      Besides, it’s not like he’s writing a book on how to kill a 50 year old has been singing sensation from early rock and roll times, and then getting your lesbian lover to kill the cop your seducing while he’s investigating you because of the book you wrote in which was an exact description of the singer’s murder and murder scene.

        1. What can I say. My examples are exemplary platitudes of what someone may or may not be doing in direct relation to the mathematical content of movie and/or music quotes I’m able to pull out, along with the flying monkeys.

          GAME ON!!!

    2. Really? I think it’s hilarious. Also fiction.

      Besides, how do you know it isn’t justified? I suspect that as we learn more about Tired Guy, we may learn that he deserved it in some karmic way. Like maybe he cooks meth. Or maybe he’s, like, really really racist. Or maybe back when he was but a wee lad his favorite pastime was running around the village with his friends and punching the all the elderly and now that he’s an old man the universe is punishing him in a taste-of-his-own-medicine sort of way. Or maybe he has terrible taste in music. Could be anything really.

      1. You want Karma? He’s the great uncle who got Alex to go into art, and taught the boy to use gravity free imagination and a degree to make money for fun and profit.

        1. Definitely karma, but the karma, and the punch are both for something completely different. You see, as a wee young lad, Tired Guy used to walk around his home village punching seeing eye dogs in the face.

          This one was for Spot. The Ellie/Quinn concern was just an “if he could” sort of thing before his actual business.

          (as a note, if I ever end up blind with a seeing eye dog, I hope I remember my intention to ask someone else for a visual characteristic that doesn’t fit to name the dog after)

  12. Aren’t KK and Ellie both underage? For shame! Underage drinking. The scandal!

    LOL, JK! I just wanted to throw in something other than the usual comment about Blind Guy punching Tired Guy. I’m sure Ellie was well introduced to alcohol before KK, courtesy of Juniper or possibly even Tarra or Anice. Probably not the smartest thing in the world, especially if KK is caught using company equipment providing alcoholic beverages to an underage subordinate, but I doubt anything will come of it.

    1. Tarra? NO WAY. She’s the perfect one. She won’t touch the sauce until after she’s successful, married and then only a doctor’s supervision.

      1. I think her perfection means she won’t get caught being bad. And since she’s legal, it’s perfectly plausible for her little sisters to go and steal her booze. Who knows, maybe that’s why she chopped off Ellie’s hair that one time.

        1. I would only buy that schtick if Tarra was a make believe perfect little good girl. 1/2 Claire from “The Breakfast Club” where she has to do what her friends expect of her and 3/4s of that girl (blonde) who blew up her parents kitchen while microwaving her hair care products and necklaces in “Pump up the Volume.”

          But then, she growls at the tv cameras on live tv.

          I’m of the opinion that Tarra really has it all, and can handle it. Why self medicate her teenaged years like Anise?

        2. Anise? Anise is just weird. She’s doing good, even if her style is different. Juniper is the one they don’t want to follow.

          I figured since Tarra is 27 she’s got a good six years old legal booze under her belt, a fact that younger sisters may take advantage of. And Tarra will use her sister’s naughtiness to teach them lessons about the dangers of underage drinking, respecting other people’s property, and overall to never mess with Tarra.

          Seriously. I can see her sitting her sister’s down after kicking their butts to lecture them on the evils of alcohol.

        3. Sorry, got the girls mixed up. But all of the other sisters have moved out, and quite possible suggested that Anise isn’t even 21 yet at the time of the thimble incident, which followed the noodle incident earlier that day at Pumpkin’s school.

          Okay, Tarra may drink, but I don’t think what with Juniper’s life choice and decisions that it would be wise to introduce alcohol and such to the other girls. I mean, we’ve gotten a glimpse into the home life of both Ellie and Pumpkin. Ellie was hooked on e-trashing bimbos and Pumpkin seems to be hooked on cos-playing. Anise has her beards. Ellie’s twin, Cinnamon, well, we saw that. She’s the Omega of the sisters where we can say that Tarra is the Alpha of the group.

          But the eldest sister has removed her self from the group by having her own little brood. Her thing, popping back into the house to let mom and pumpkin babysit while she cat naps on the sofa.

        4. Actually Juniper’s example (almost typed Anise) would quite possibly make it safer to introduce the others to alcohol, as they might be more worried about it. Seeing something bad enough alcohol-wise with someone close to you can make a big impact. I don’t know that seeing it in a sister would be that big of an impact, but I’ve definitely seen people refuse to touch alcohol after seeing a parent struggle with it (and I’m 90% sure there was no abuse involved from the parent, just seeing all the things that happened to him).

  13. In today’s episode of celebrity look a like theater we have Tired Guy as a dead ringer for Spider Mans long time foe, The Vulture. Mainly panel 3. Picture the feathered collar on his green robe and he’s ready to go. Which by extension puts Blind Guy as a passable Peter Parker. I can hear the sarcastic quips from here.

    1. Sure it is. Their bones give way so easily you can punch them all day. Kerpow! Squish! Kerpow! Squish! Kerpow! Squish! See? It keeps your knuckles baby smooth…

      1. >sucking sound< tsssssssssssssss. Yeah, see. I'm going to need you to come in this weekend and update the TPS Reports. And just go ahead and come in on Sunday too. M'kay?

  14. well since they both have some sort of handicap, im not gonna hold punching a dying old man against Blind Guy. I mean he could have just as easily missed him….of course he could have spooky-awesome blind guy senses….did you ever see Samurai Champloo?

      1. We haven’t seen enough examples of characters exposed to different races to be sure of that. And even Ellie’s exposure is superficial, as she takes being the Lazy One seriously, so hating someone for longer than a few minutes is really WAY too much effort.

        1. Besides, I’m sure that living near the epicenter of Disney’s Magical black hole in Florida, which sucks down every negative emotion within a 150 mile radius of the Epccot Center, but not having the ability to work on those who were a teenager when it was built. . . . (it’s only weakness) Racial epithets are a thing of the past, unless the person was a teenage when it was built.

          But the downside of that is whenever a new or revamped part of the park is done, those who have a negative emotional equivalence of 5 on the racial scale and are teenagers have a protracted protection from the emotional black hole that is Disney.

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