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I Don’t Grow Wallflowers

I like that Rosemary is always wielding a knife. Yeah she might cook you food, but could also stab you at any moment. She's intimidating in her own subtle ways. I've gotten asked if she's based off a real person I've known. She's not. I just pictured a Disney-styled female villain who eventually settled down. It's funny cause I actually bought Claire a set of steak knives just like those on the counter when we got to Texas. Nothing tells your loved ones you trust them more than giving them the means to kill you. So yeah, so for the lack of updates. The whole moving thing was... a process. Super grueling. To super summarize: Got the yard done. Got incredibly sick from some heat exhaustion. Claire had to sod half the back yard for me. Got rained out when loading the moving truck. Ate at Cracker Barrel. Claire's air conditioner shat the bed while she was gone. We moved everything in in sweltering heat, and had to live in it for a week. I had pretty bad issues with fatigue and nausea for that time. I just could not seem to escape the over-heating issue... We then cleared out Claire's storage unit while we had the moving truck to sort it. We then began the arduous task of combing all my stuff with all her stuff + storage unit. Luckily it didn't rain us out during this portion because her front yard looked like a flea market for several days. We accumulated AT LEAST 40 black bags of crap to throw out or donate. Everything going through this whole "Is yours better/is mine better/ which one are we keeping?" type thing. We had loads of doubles on DVDs, and every bed in the house has a minimum 8 pillows.  It's been fun, but certainly exhausting. Right now we're fixing up her spare room for my two kids. Was kind of a storage room for misc. Clearing it out, fixing holes in walls, painting, cleaning etc etc etc. My little ones are still at their mom's until August, then we fully blend our little family. Claire has her own two, both girls. So combined total is 3 girls, one boy. Ages 4, 10, 11, 12. They've all met before and gotten along well, and uh.. from my own observation I'm sure that will continue..as long as we buy groceries nearly every day. :P UPDATE 7/5/19: Hope everyone had a safe and happy 4th of July! Sorry updates have been slow lately, still getting back on track and taking care of a lot of little remodeling projects around the house while we have the chance. Next comic will be up on Tuesday, here's a little preview. - Chris  

68 thoughts on “I Don’t Grow Wallflowers

    1. One of the things that jumped out at me with that statement is remembering that Rosemary’s a judge.

      I’m now wondering if Rusche found himself interacting with a judge regularly (maybe family court with divorce) who he thought seemed like a female Disney villain that’d settled down, and if so how often imaginary and likely inappropriate fake Disney songs started going through his head in the courtroom.

      I suspect the song thing would definitely happen to me if I were in that situation.

  1. Of course, what Rosemary’s overlooked is that there will indeed be a time you want those days back, but you’ll want them back knowing what you know now.

    1. As funny as that sounds, when my step-daughter turned 18 and her ten friends were coming over to get her to go to a secret party, they all accidentally told me about it in one way or another. When I told Des (my daughter) that she didn’t need to sneak around since I already knew about it, Des’ first reaction was, “OMG THOSE IDIOTS!”

      So when the doorbell rang that night, that was the first thing I said to her as well – “Des. Go answer the door and greet your idiots.”

  2. You moved to Texas during the summer….

    Who gave you this advice, was it Napoleon or Hitler because those two give great advice on when to go traveling.

    Now that you are in Texas are you going to have a booth at any comic con’s in the future? There are lots in Texas and a few that go on in the DFW area.

    1. In my headcanon, both would think it a great idea to move to northern Michigan in winter. but I’m not so sure either would be inclined to suggest moving to Texas in summer.

  3. “A Disney-styled female villain who eventually settled down.” Fits Rosemary perfectly lol.
    Probably is how she can handle all the Buckingham sisters.

    Also, again, welcome to Texas Chris. And well, at least you moved here at the beginning of Summer.
    At least it wasn’t in the middle of July or the beginning of August. (gets chills remembering his own move.)

      1. I second this. She definitely seems more like a retired Queen Grimhilde (The Queen’s given name although not mentioned in the Disney movie) who has decided to have 7 children to rival the 7 dwarves. Each child fairer than the last so that they can be married off to 7 kingdoms to help her power reach further. Or at least, that was the plan. Then full-time motherhood kicked in and she decided to opt out for a bit (see: Cinnamon, Juniper, Anise) and now she is content with the life she lives now as her children cause more chaos and destruction than she ever could.

  4. I’m hoping Rosemary assembled a truly horrific group for the party. I for one, cannot wait to welcome our idiot guests.

    1. Yeah, that’s what I was thinking, too. BIG mistake on Rosemary’s part. One would think she’d be a bit smarter than that… or she’s got something up her sleeve. Guess we’ll find out next comic!

  5. The mother unit mentioned “Facebook”….. What is this strange realm, it sounds like a vast void of trivial opinions and unfiltered emotional drama that holds little value to the world of the materium. I shudder to think what warped horror of demons shall spill forth from the rift created by the mother unit, arm yourselves brothers!

    1. Now that you brought that up… spotted a mild continuity mistake in the dialogue. I think in-universe it’s called “Faceberg” according to the previous comic, as well as in other preceding comics. A minor nitpick that can be fixed later. I’m just glad to see that the comic’s up.

  6. I have to congratulate Chris on one other thing in this comic… Rosemary’s looking pretty shapely for a woman who’s had seven kids–six of which are adults. Either she and Herb started young, she works out, or all that chaos keeps her in shape… or all three?

    1. Do you think any calories would dare try to convert to fat in her body? I’m sure every glucose molecule is drawing lots for the ones that will be used to power her cells and which ones will happily escape.

    1. No need. Just BUY him a steak. He can lay it out on the hood if his car and it’ll be finished cooking by just a little after noon.

      1. Fine, at least bake him some cookies. You know, IN the car, parked at the mall, in a Texas summer. I’m sure the TV stations around DFW will trot out that schtick if they haven’t already, to demonstrate how hot your car can get, for those idjits unfamiliar with our summers and leave their kids locked in them, like three did last week.

        I guess it’s part of Rosemary’s low-key retired evil Disney queen profile to use a regular butcher’s knife block on the counter, instead of the psycho ex Stabby McStab knife holder.

  7. I’ve been reading this comic for years, this will be my first comment.

    Rosemary is holding the knife wrong and it’s seriously stressing me out.

    1. Rosemary is an absolute master in the kitchen. She has recipes on how to prepare Pokemon.

      Perhaps she’s just holding the knife so right it looks wrong. :D

  8. Oh, man! What an adventure you both have embarked on! Sorry you’ve had to suffer through all the heat exhaustion/prostration/fatigue, if it’s any consolation, you’ll build up an immunity or tolerance over time. Put off using A/C units as long as you can; stick to fans, it will help. Look into swamp coolers vs traditional air conditioners, it’ll help save money. XD The bit about the pillows made me laugh out loud. I’m single (but willing to settle down with a retired Disney villainess) and already have more pillows than I know what to do with, can’t imagine merging a household with someone! Donate all your extra DVDs to the local library and try to upcycle/donate/recycle as much as you can possibly bear, dont put a single thing in the dump if you can avoid it! I’ve never met a town that didn’t love a good “FREE TO ANYONE” sidewalk donation. Good luck to the both/six of you! Mixed families can be a challenge, but at least the kids are mostly close ages.

  9. Texas ProTip: The next time your home’s central air conditioning goes out and can’t be fixed immediately, remember that you can quickly buy a cheap “window unit” air conditioner to keep at least one room cool for life support. There are also “in room” units if you don’t have a suitable window.

  10. Welcome to Texas (North Texas as I recall?), and if you think it’s hot *now*… Hell, it ain’t even hit a 100 yet! (It was like 1000% humidity, though – been raining for months off and on.)

  11. I did the reverse of that move when I was in 5th grade, moved from west Texas in September, (Indian summer, still near 100 degrees F.) to south east England in October-November. Going from one temporary classroom to another (they were each stand alone buildings) the first week, and an ice storm was in progress. Got inside the 2nd classroom and a sheet of ice melted off my cheek. Needless to say I was not happy or acclimated to that weather.

  12. “So combined total is 3 girls, one boy. Ages 4, 10, 11, 12. They’ve all met before and gotten along well, and uh.. from my own observation I’m sure that will continue..as long as we buy groceries nearly every day.”

    Life imitates art.

  13. Parental inner monolog ‘If you don’t like them, or want to interact with them.. should they BE on your Friends list?’

  14. “…every bed in the house has a minimum 8 pillows.” If those are throw pillows, the only thing they’re good for is throwing them out! ?

  15. I wonder if buying two boxes of the same name brand cereal and then refilling them with the malt-o-meal brand would work. And if so, for how long.

  16. Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like Pumpkin is not doing well with acknowledging she has to grow up like her sisters did. I sense a little of the same hesitation when she thinks about it (she doesn’t want to have a sweet sixteen birthday – she cancelled it) because OMG RESPONSIBILITIES. Like, she wants to be treated like an adult but not have to do adult stuff.

    Granted, looking at her sisters, I wouldn’t blame her for not wanting to grow up.

    1. I was seeing this as an extension of the story between her and Quinn. Not so much a not wanting to grow up but a certain discomfort with how she’s growing and feeling like she’s going in a different direction than her past friends but not wanting to throw them away so just trying to stall/distance a bit. If anything I think she wants to wake up and already be grown up and is just not handling the process very well.

      1. That’s the vibe I was getting. She’s moved beyond the small group of clique friends she had, and it’s made her feel weird and grown-up. And she resents that in a way, because she feels there will be responsibilities. Like not living at home and having to do what her sisters all did at one point – get real jobs. Things that don’t mesh currently with her easy lifestyle (kinda like Ellie).

  17. Who’s the girl between Ashliii and “Tiny Atlas”; with the purple irises? Threw me at first since her hairstyle is a bit like Cinnamon’s, but the fact that she has pupils rules her out.

    1. Oh, if only there was a page, which would have information about the characters. The cast, as it were.

        1. Playground accidents. They’re all fun and games until someone’s arms are permanently deformed.

        2. I’m doing a quick archive crawl for all the appearances I know of regarding GG (or Gigi, as Durkin refers to her in the arc where David resigns from the D52); namely “Terms and Conditions” and the LoveCon arcs; and though I admit there are some strong similarities, I’d be very surprised if the girl in the lineart was GG. Granted we haven’t yet seen GG in profile, but every time we’ve seen her she just has too much of a deadpan, almost alien appearance (especially with that long slit of a mouth) to be the girl in the above lineart, IMHO. Of course, she may be able to alter her appearance, but we’ll have to wait until the color version posts to be sure.

      1. Also, not all the supporting characters are on the cast page, e.g. KK, Ashliii, and several others. One who is on there, Barrel, hasn’t been in the comic for years and has (seemingly) lost relevance.

  18. Also, Chris; since so many of us have christened her “Tiny Atlas”, you might have to draw her holding up a big ol’ globe sometime! XD

  19. Ugh my mom did this made me go to my senior prom cause she never got to go (didnt matter that id already been to 3 and didnt want to either)

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