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i heart z

You yourself can have your own failed movie-within-a-webcomic shirt, or even if you're just a fan of the zombie persons. i heart z shirt That logo was really a throwaway thing, and the shirt is just for the hell of it. Though it did go through many iterations on my Facebook where I asked friends to chime in on what looks they preferred. So here's my three posts of something that honestly bares no weight on the comic, yet my OCD nature makes it detrimental to life itself. :P The winning results is what Ellie's holding. logo 1 logo 2 logo 3 Sorry about the delay on this one with no update. I got really consumed with projects over the last week and it just got away from me. I take all the blame. Shooting for Patreon to be up tomorrow.

113 thoughts on “i heart z

  1. Hooray for the last date of the week (this was the last one, right?) going well, despite a movie getting canceled.

    Also, I believe I’ve taken the first position here. Can I get an official count here?

    1. As a former first entry, I count:

      37 words
      164 characters without spaces
      199 characters with spaces
      3 sentences
      2 paragraphs

      Recommendation: application for first position approved.

      1. I have confirmed the report from the Rick Division and applied all 4 stamps to the document stack that arrived in Confirmations. Once the Application For First has finished processing, for which I see no unusual delays, we can get all of the various signatures (in triplicate!) needed to get your First by late 2021. Congratulations!

    2. Ellie has one more date to finish out her pay period (unless one was off-comic).

      As for first, I’m not much for the whole claiming first thing, but I’ve got a feeling you deserve this one. So I’ll call it as you getting first here.

  2. I’m really like the way they fit together.
    A bit of natural dialogue to iron out the constant fakery she’s been dealing with.

    1. I don’t know if they’d make a good couple. But I think they’d make good friends. And good friends are worth a lot! And they’re fun.

  3. I like the design. Of the slashes it is the best. Though I feel the bite is more appropriate for zombies while the slashes would be better for werewolves or some big animal.

      1. She’s got her purse. So she’s probably got her street clothes as well. That or Dracula got them and he’s going to blackmail our buxom beauty to do tired guy’s bidding to get them back.

  4. Not sure if excited for potential budding romance, or horrified at inevitible dumping. C’mon Ellie, ditch Tired Guy and go with Not-So-Tired Guy!!!!

  5. Yay, “failed movie-within-a-webcomic” shirt! Probably gonna have to buy one of those.

    Also, Rusche is cool with the birthday presents he hands out. It’s probably the same thing he hands out to everyone, but it’s still cool. Rock on, Rusche.

    1. Nope. No bra in the would could support a breast the size of z cups. It would be like if you took Fatty Fat, cloned it and stick it on top of Ellie’s already gifted mounds.

      1. Any decent engineer would take issue with a statement of impossibility. It’s just a question of proper bracing and materials.

        Granted, that’s assuming her spine could take it. Which it probably couldn’t. But if it could, the engineering could eventually catch up.

        And if not, that’s what exoskeletons are for.

        1. Damn straight. It’s just a matter of the right support structure and being willing to throw enough money at solving a non-problem.

        2. The right support structure for large breasts is a corset. Pretty much anything over an E-cup should be held by a corset. I say E cause DD is overrated. Depending on where you get your bras a DD can be anything from a C to a E. I think that Victoria’s Secret use a chart that doesn’t really have an A (Makes people feel better I guess if almost flat is a B *shrug*).

          Anyways, corsets were designed to support, it’s just that other women saw that by tightening it up you can change your figure, and that lead to the shaping corsets, which should be classified as torture devices. A proper support corset fits as snug as a good pair of pants, maybe just a tad tighter than that.

          Channeling the weight down directly into the hips, rather than up to the shoulders then down the spine.

        3. From what I gather, a good bra puts the weight in the band rather than the straps, so channels the weight to the rib cage rather than the shoulders. I’ve heard that shoulders bearing the weight is the sign of a poorly fitting bra.

        4. I think this is the very first place in the Internet for the famous z cup debate to take place

        5. As someone who is NOT an engineer, I figure a Z-cup bra would just be two wheel barrows welded together.

        6. I’d like to remind you that hoverboards are real now.

          Granted, they’re currently a fire hazard, but I can’t imagine having Z cups wouldn’t be a hazard in all sorts of ways anyway, so it might be a toss up.

        7. This is one of those cases where the comments are just as entertaining as the comic.

        8. One of my checks for something I was replying to a month or two ago had me going back and looking over comments and when I read over a few of the jokes I got in for comic Ratches, it reminded me I was being way too serious commenting and I need to look for more joke opportunities. Glad others appreciate it when I find one.

          Also I graduated from an engineering school.

        9. Wouldn’t engineering just make something to support or replace her spine? I mean, transhumanism is a thing.

        10. It could, but I’ve been seeing news stories for I think at least five years about some of the research going on for exoskeletons for military use. Not full on body armor, but just kinda’ full on body brace sorts of things to help carry more weight (I think for US I’ve heard anywhere from 80-120 pounds for full equipment load for soldiers and that low weight is an enormous selling feature when trying to sell to the military for soldiers to use).

          I think I remember seeing one that looked a lot like interconnected metal splints and braces going from neck to below shoes/boots. Was made to allow general freedom of motion but still support a decently large degree of the weight being put on it.

        11. No, exoskeletons are a good idea, but if you have size-Z breasts and tons of money, you may as well have a bra solution that attracts attention from a distance. I recommend one of those military helicopters that can lift a tank with two rescue lines hanging off of it. The cups will be two jumbo-sized rescue harnesses.

        12. I think Z cup breasts would attract attention from a sufficient distance on their own, so as hard as it is for me to vote against military helicopters, I’m going to have to stick with a solution that doesn’t make going indoors problematic. So I don’t think I could go farther than industrial strength narrow hovercraft.

          Although, getting through doors having Z cup breasts would likely be problematic in the first place.

    2. There really aren’t any universal, standardized sizing systems. Lingerie charts seem to top out at O-for-Oscar or P. Gentlemen’s Club advertisements use 5 H’s, six J’s, whatever looks impressive. But any way you look at it, no “Z”. It’s for the same reason no earthquake will ever be rated as a Richter 10…there is always the possibility of something bigger coming along….

      1. They wouldn’t have to be asymptotic. They could start with Greek letters or superhero names or any arbitrary thing they wanted.

        Also, I did a back of the envelope calculation out of curiosity and the one I found with a distinct pattern (letters greater than C not equal to E are doubled except I was excluded entirely) put a Z cup as between 3 & 4 feet additional circumference. So I think it’s fairly safe to say that Z cup range is “get a breast reduction if you want to be able to walk, and not have a spine like a 90 year old when you’re 25.”

        So I’d have a hard time imagining you’d ever have enough of a market to mass produce anything like that anyway, so you wouldn’t really need to attach the size, just consider it “custom.”

  6. A) I’m curious if “I heart zombies” is the movie name or if we haven’t seen it yet.

    B) I doubt anyone but Blind Guy could possibly make her next “date” anything but disappointing compared to this one.

  7. Don’t look at it as stealing Ellie
    It’s just Strategic Transition of Equpiment to an Alternate Location.
    And I’m sure nobody will mind you keeping the costume.

    1. Odds are, no one could wear it after she did. She has a history (I started typing “sistory”) of making other peoples clothing no longer fit those same people.

  8. Oh boy. The interactions are kind of cute so far, but I’ve got a bad feeling about this. Hopefully my feeling is wrong, and all will be well but I’m gonna brace myself for a bit of a drama here just to be on the safe side.

  9. Things will resolve yea or nay when she obtains her paycheck and evaluates what her toils bring in, or not respectively. If more than expected, she’s hooked.

  10. These two actually have some decent chemistry, despite him being twice her age. I still prefer her with Blind Guy, but this one is not bad.

    1. *nitpick alert*
      He’s not QUITE twice her age – he’s only 37. He’d have to be 38 or 39 to be twice her age (38 if she’s a little over 19, 39 if she’s a over 18 1/2)…
      At this point they seem to be better suited for a “younger friend/older friend” dynamic than an actual romance.

      1. While I generally agree, it’s in my nature to be contrary.

        Ellie is quite sharp when she bothers and, in some ways, relatively mature for her age. She’s also made statements about being not terribly experienced with romance. From that stance, a significantly older guy, who would look at her as inexperienced in general and are frequently rumored to be more considerate (and medically known to have lower testosterone levels), might actually be a good option (at least for a while). A guy her own age might be more likely to assume she has to be experienced based on how she looks and be a bit less concerned/careful.

        1. It doesn’t sound like he has much recent/positive relationship experience though. Given his decade long dry spell, anything he remembers is going to be horribly rusty and out of date. Throw in that age gap and you have a recipe for … hilarity. They’d be The Odd Couple.

          Though I’ll grant you, being single for a decade doesn’t mean he didn’t date. It could be that nothing ever took root.

        2. I’m not sure how much the traits/differences associated with older guy/younger girl come from more dating versus more living in general. You learn a lot about people just interacting with more of them in your normal work and social circles. The addition of romance can sometimes help learn more, but other times it helps learn less. I’ve always thought the main parts were just that the guy had calmed down somewhat, had seen more people in more situations leading to potentially more patience/guidance, and had moved to a biological place in life where the amount of testosterone he had at her age would now be potentially dangerous.

          Granted, that’s all completely guesswork with absolutely no basis in anything other than random fleeting observations and arbitrary reasoning I’ve heard from others. I could certainly be laughably wrong on this.

        3. I’m also left to wonder if his comment about being “single” for 10 years means he was married but got divorced/widowed 10 years ago or that it’s been 10 years since he was in a relationship. When I hear someone referred to as single it automatically translates in my head to “not married” but I realize that it could also just mean “not in a serious relationship”.

          Perhaps Rusche can clarify?

  11. BTW I measured, and Ellie’s cranium is the same basic diameter as her bountiful endowments, jawline and hair not included.

        1. I don’t know if that’s such a good idea. I mean, sure I’m not using it much, but it’s been run over by three cars, two buses, and a five year old carrying a dog riding a hot wheel. It really doesn’t smell that great and can overheat if not carefully observed, too. I really can’t recommend it.

          Also, I ran into an art book on figure drawing that recommended head size and breast size (front view, no supportive clothing, hanging naturally) to be equal. It doesn’t look that way in the final, but the lines sketched measuring did actually match up. I was a bit surprised.

        2. Psh! All that life needs is a good wash, a portion of bleach, oil change and some paint. Put some work in it, it will be as good as new!

          And I’m kinda wondering what kind of art book that was. And if the instructions were just for first sketch lines or the final result.

        3. I have a habit of saving a Kickstarter I plan to pledge and doing the pledge in the last couple of days of the campaign. I also sometimes figure, “I bothered logging in, why don’t I look around a bit.” As a saved item, the timer doesn’t always ding when I’m completely sober.

          Book was a kickstarter I tacked on to something else I decided to get (slightly different edition of http://www.amazon.com/Drawing-Beautiful-Women-Frank-Method/dp/1933865601). It didn’t help in the slightest for my biggest art issue (uncanny valley-type issue, I can’t draw a human that doesn’t look jarringly soulless), but had lots of other odd things.

          I grabbed it off my shelf and checked and I’d recalled correctly about breast height and also that total height was about 8 head heights. Comment I grabbed was in basic anatomy portion. Purpose was just to give general proportions for rough estimate, had same figure drawn in different angles with headlengths drawn as guidelines. It also included notes like “head is roughly same length as the human foot”, “width of the shoulders is about the same width as the hips”, “nipples fall at the 2nd head mark”, “mid-point is just above the crotch”, “hands fall at the upper 1/3 of the thighs”, & “mid-knee is about 2 heads tall”. Drawn figure was bustier than Quinn, but not as busty as Ellie, Tarra, or current Pumpkin, and the observations lined up.

        4. “Nipples fall at the 2nd head mark.”
          Try saying that completely out of context. :D

          But sounds like a book that’s decently useful, all in all.

        5. It’s closing time, Mark, so pick up your nipples and put your hats on your heads.

  12. I feel like I ran across the current Ashliii quote (“facts don’t care about your feelings”) pretty much verbatim recently, but for the life of me I can’t think of where. Anyone else recognize that?

    1. It’s actually attributed to several people, so it entered common use somewhere. My personal experience with it was Ben Shapiro’s talk at Missouri University concerning the insanity of the student protests there.

      It also seems to be related to Salmon Rushdie, so it may have originated in the aftermath of his Satanic Verses, potentially being retooled to deal with the disgusting collectivist cultures of the perpetually offended tumblrinas and social justice warriors.

      1. Certainly seems like something a lot of people would have reason to say/agree to.

        I’ve had more than a few news stories on my reading list regarding some of the current insanity at colleges. That probably was where I read the quote recently, though I don’t know if it was that particular talk, a different one, or an op-ed on the topic using the phrase.

        Thanks for the memory assist.

        1. Glad to help.

          I just wish the quote or the sentiment had fallen to nonuse for the obvious reasons.

        2. I like the statement being in common use, because I think we all try to ignore it now and then for at least a little while.

          I don’t like that there are people who think it’s false. The apparent number of people who seem able to accept that it’s false is actually pants-crappingly terrifying to me. I tell myself it’s just the outliers seeming more numerous because they catch attention more than reasonable people, but I’m not as secure in believing that as I’d like.

  13. I can not believe this Hauman guy. He has not updated anything on his stupid tournament. They have had several other announcements from other writers they have for their title. This thing seems to be half a joke, the way this is run and he’s supposed to be in charge of production? It doesn’t matter, it’s the site’s title on the tournament no matter if it’s for a paying customer or for an internally made promotional advertisement.

    I wonder what his twitter feed looks like this year.

    1. I noticed last year when I ran into some postings that guy made on other sites that he seemed somewhat pretentious/holier-than-thou and generally irritating. My biggest donation last year was for the ComicPress creator after a computer problem, because I definitely owe that guy more for the entertainment that he’s generally enabled than I gave in the contest. Also when I went to the site to vote this year (too late, so didn’t), enabling JavaScript for the site had Firefox attempting to accept incoming connections. So I don’t know what the hell ComicMix is doing, but it’s 50 kinds of wrong from an IT security stance in my book.

      Rusche won last year. I don’t think it’d be good to dominate a tournament like that from year to year in general (that makes a tournament like that less fun in general), and specifically it didn’t change his Patreon donations to any noticeable degree. Also I believe that a high TWC rank does much more for his pageviews than winning the ComicMix touranment did (and the Not A Villain author specifically said that regarding her comic in her comment section during the tournament last year, too).

      So a part of me thinks it’d be nice if Rusche got to the quarterfinals this year on ComicMix and lost the semis by a not enormous margin, just so it didn’t seem weird comparing this year’s results vs last year’s results. But otherwise ComicMix can go ${INSERT_YOUR_FAVORITE_VERB} itself as far as I care and I’ll keep trying to vote for Rusche on TWC on both my phone and ISP every day.

      1. I suppose that the reason that I get so gung ho about this ComicMix was that GrrlPower got the top spot on TWC after their win on the ComicMix thing. I see Chris’ comic as being one of the most honest towards the story, characters and environment that they interact in.

        1. I just wanted to get Rusche more exposure. I figured it was a good place to do it, and in doing the TWC stuff I did, assist him towards more traffic and more revenue for the wobsite.

        2. Yeah, I went along last year for the additional exposure and hoping to get more people interested and willing to support Rusche too. I was honestly pretty disappointed at the results.

          @mR. Blue – No shame in that, and no reason not to encourage people to go vote for Rusche again this year. I don’t think we need the intense play-by-play from last year (as we saw it didn’t do much for Rusche), but it never hurts to keep him as “top tier” in a contest like that, which I agree, is where this comic belongs.

        3. Yea, I supported it with the hope it would help the comic rise in the ranks to at least the top half of the first page. I still remember my guerrilla voting campaign where I drove around to every unsecured and/or complimentary wifi connection I could to get as many votes as possible in. Good times.

        4. I think we had a lot of people who were going gung ho for the ComicMix tournament also occasionally go gung ho for TWC. The type of gung ho that you don’t keep up every day of the year, like TLO’s mention of looking for hot spots to vote from, or the comment (I think from Larathiel) about going through available IP space at work.

          I’ll admit that before last year I didn’t try to remember to vote for Rusche on TWC and just did so occasionally. When I found out how much more traffic Rusche was getting from TWC than ComicMix, I’ve been trying to vote daily since then.

        5. Yeah, this time last year I was going thru my company’s IP space each day, but you can only keep that up level of fanaticism for so long before RealLife™ and such get in the way. ;) I still keep my work laptop on a distinct IP address from the main gateway just to get an extra vote in each day (phone at work, phone on carrier network, laptop at work, desktop at home), but that’s about it.

          As for the ComicMix vote, I didn’t even realize it was going again, but I do tend to agree with you that it wouldn’t be well-received by the general public for us to buy the win 2-years running. Considering many of us did so with the hope that it would lead to more Patreon supporters for Rusche (which I don’t recollect it doing), I’m not inclined to shell-out for votes like last go-round, especially given how poorly it seems to be run.

        6. I’m fairly sure that trying to remember to give him as many TWC votes as are sustainable is much better support than the ComicMix contest.

        7. Could it also be something that the tournament is a big social warrior pissing contest as well? But then on the other hand, the guy is not as prompt or as exact ad he could be.

          The other thing would be if you support the charity that the donations are going to. However, in light of the wounded warrior one, how much goes where. .

    2. He didn’t exactly manage to run the tournament cleanly last year already. But at least the troubles didn’t start with the very first announcement as this year.

      Honestly: If you’re not capable of doing it, either get someone who is or don’t try and ruin the experience for others in the process.

      1. Well, Ellie could always tell him on the date that she’d happily send his profile (manned by his brother) a blisteringly negative message to screw with said brother and sit with Nena and laughingly compose something like that to send.

        1. All together with a “If you ever want to try for an extra or background chara in a bad movie again, ring me up why don’t you?” and exchange of phone numbers?

        2. I think Ellie looks comfortable to throw in, “You know the person picking extras won’t pass up a girl with knockers this big, so that should help you get in too.”

  14. Holy shit… chemistry. Like, chemistry between two people, despite the circumstances.

    And for a second there, it wasn’t creepy at all or weird or contrived.

    That email he gets from the dating site is gonna be pretty shitty for him unless she explains ahead of time what’s up. Talk about a shitty job.

  15. What are you supposed to do with a bunch of fake cop gear? Well I guess

    A) don’t let your dad see
    B) try to get in to use the wisk on that other guy.
    C) Profit.

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