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Juniper 2.0

Friday's post is coming. And no, not Monday. Later on today, probably after noon. See you then.

101 thoughts on “Juniper 2.0

    1. As long as she’s inside the building and not driving it down the street, she’s probably okay. Or at least, won’t be charged with Driving/Operating Under Influence/While Intoxicated. A charge of “Public Intoxication”, however, remains on the table…

  1. I guess I was wrong. There was a whale in the bathroom. Though without that powerchair how will she get out?

    1. They used a time machine, however, the coffee spill that occurred just as it was activated shot her back into the 70s, into London, and into a little known movie that was being shot by Richard O’Brien.

      Purple sequins and all that.

  2. Dude you are absolutly evil you know that? STILL teasing us about that 1/7 thing after all this time?

    Though I *highly* doubt many if anyone else out there will catch the reference. Way to incorporate some obscure lore there mate lol

    1. For those that aren’t comic nerds Batwoman is one of the highest profile lesbian characters in the DC universe.

      Unless there’s another reference I’m missing?

      1. No that is the reference I was reffering to. I didnt think anyone would get it however as thats not exactly common knowldge persay, you have to be an actual comic fan who reads Batwoman to get it (which isnt exactly a hot ticket seller lol)

        1. I was about to say if you play DCU Online (the DC themed MMO) you’d also know it but then I realized that despite the fact they re-enact the scene where Bruno Mannheim almost kills Batwoman and the Question rescues her they never discuss the relationship between the two. But it’s not still not THAT obsure. I’ve never really read the Batwoman comic and I knew it.

        2. Its not obscure if you are a Bat-family fan or have a passing knowldge of DC, but the average ‘comic fan’ these days cant name a hero that hasnt appeared in a movie -.-

        3. Didn’t the writers for the batwoman comic quit cause DC wouldn’t allow batwoman to finally get married to her long time girlfriend/fiance/lover?

        4. I believe that’s correct. But I haven’t bought a print comic in over a decade so I’m not an up the minute source on comic news.

        5. I thought that she was dating the captain of the major case squad, that girl who transferred from Metropolis. So, where did the long time come from?

        1. Bwahaha see TheLastOutLaw? Point proven ;)

          No offense DGR, I mean no disrespect, just pointing out my, well, point that the reference would have flown over most peoples heads.

          As for the people quitting because the marrage arc was nixed, yeah, it was another act of ‘He Who Needs to be Canned’. His exact statement for why it got nixed just proves why he needs to get canned:

          “heroes shouldn’t have happy personal lives.”

        2. Sounds like the same sort of “logic” that caused Marvel to literally use magic to erase the fact that Spidey was ever married to Mary-Jane. Comic execs keep pushing a narrow minded view of what’s “hip” (and yes, I used the woefully out of date term to ironically illustrate what I’m talking about it) that continues to alienate fans. I’ll give DGR props though, they knew most of the prominent figures who’ve been Batgirl.

        3. What was the effect that the marriage was having? I’m at a loss for trying to come up with other married supers, outside of the Incredibles and the Allens. Mr. Strange comes to mind, but out of these three, only Barry Allen was a one sided super marriage. The other two were all supes, so to speak.

          And the Phantom shouldn’t count, as the whole family doesn’t seem to be a part of the mainstream society. They all exist outside of the entire local-system.

        4. Mr. Strange?

          Reed and Sue Richards are still together. I think if that marriage broke up, people would burn down the Marvel offices.

        5. Well, they were married before they became supers, and well… They’re public. Spiderman and just about every other hero out there has a secret identity. Except Frank Castle, but that’s just an urban myth for him.

        6. D’OH !!!

          Mr. Strange or was it Mr. Fantastic. He’s an escape artist who, with his wife, escaped from … hang on. ugly face, lousy makeup job, heavy J.Kirby influence on the character design. Has his own planet.


          Darkseid. They escaped from Darkseid and the planet was Apokolips

        7. On Pete and MJ: The deal with the devil (not magic, well not really) didn’t make there marriage not happen, it made them divorced. They had been separated for years at a time before that, though. The only reason that they did not give them a divorce then, was the first movie came out, and the execs at corporate did not want to taint the movie. Buuut, yes, that was a messed up story.

          On Reed Richards and Sue Storm/Richards: They weren’t married when they got there powers. The marriage came later, after about 2/3 of the FF villains tried to seduce her, or force her to be there bride/mate/queen/etc. And, while they have never been formally divorced to my knowledge, they have been close more than once. They have been in the “seeing other people” stage. And by they, I mean Sue.

          On the “Marriage = Happy so no married supers” argument: Bull. The two examples above have been full of angst and turmoil from the moment the rings went on. Luke Cage is married to Jessica Jones. Both supers. Have a kid. All happy joy joy, right? Not a chance. How about Storm and Black Panther, a lasting fairy tale right? Wrong. And how many times has Namor been married?

          OK, those are all Marvel examples. So you want DC a example? Bruce Wain and Selina Kyle (Pre-Crisis). Short lived, and ended in divorce. What about Lois and Clark? Smooth as silk, with no problems there, right? Ha! Who else? Barry Allen (Flash) was married, and had all kinds of complications there. The next Flash (Wally West) got in with a married woman, and her husband went all super-villain. I can’t remember if that was the one he married later, or not. Then, there was Elongated Man (OK, there marriage was pretty good, until she was BRUTALLY MURDERED!)

        8. There are quite a few you are overlooking Mr. Blue.

          Wally West was married, Roy Queen (Speedy/Red Arrow/Arsonal) is married to a reformed villian, Scott Alan was married, Superman is married in a number of continuities, Scott Summers and Emma Frost are married (I think, havent read X-Men in years) Luke Cage to…uh, I forgot her name…former C-list hero.

          The list goes on and on, there are even a number of super villians who are married, Absorbing Man and Titania come to mind (one of the best comics of all time, Avengers weddings crashing but letting those two get away lol)

        9. Well, I could only think of those examples at the time. I could probably come up with more if I had the time, but my overall knowledge base is not as extensive as yours it would seem.

          I contend that while most of those marriages are with the partner having knowledge of the spouse’s super abilities (not counting where some people think, (stop that( [end{gutter}]))). Aren’t there some spouses who have no knowledge of their partner’s abilities and such?

          I forgot about Oliver Queen and the Black Canary though. So, perhaps being on the same time might bring about some sort of social thing.

        10. Scott Summers never got married to Frost (they are not a couple any more. Technically. They are seeing other people. By they, I mean Scott. And by other people, I mean his students. [Who’s idea was it to let this guy alone with nubile teenage girls?]). He was married to Madelyne Pryor, a clone of Jean Grey. Then, after she died (or, did she?), he married the real Jean Grey (or, was she?). But, he really gets his super-code-name from his “wandering eye” (not the laser thing), which causes “hot chicks he digs” to practically start doing strip-teases in front of him, and such (and he finds a lot of “chicks” hot). There is a reason Emma never leaves him alone with any number of her clone-daughters.

        11. Make that “surviving cyborg-genetically-modified-clone-daughters”. This is the X-Men, after all.

        12. See I thought Scott and Emma got hitched because it was heading that way. I stopped reading Marvel when X-Men vs Avengers started, you know, after One More Day, you know, after they killed Punisher…and gave the Venom suit to Flash frekaing Thompson, after they, you know, canceled The Runaways.

          The only Marvel license I have anything to do with anymore is Deadpool. How sad is it when the ONLY Marvel character out there NOT wallowing in angst is DEADPOOL of all people? Though I still dont get why they suddenly turned all his friends against him….aside from Weasle, who Deadpool has basically screwed over since day one lol

        13. The exec is a dumba$$….he’s forgetting that “married” != “happy personal life”. Perfect source of drama, if they want to exploit it that way.

      2. Kathy Kane was a West Point cadet who chose to not admit to a violation of the rules, nor admit to a lie by not admitting that she wasn’t. She chose to be honest to herself and the West Point Academy and quit.

      1. Nah, he’s at another location first to the cash register with a hoverboard. He probably wouldn’t have had time to get to this mall yet.

        1. The hoverboard almost certainly doesn’t go above 15 mph (liability for a toy which will certainly be given to children), and I can’t imagine James NOT taking the hoverboard, which is why I’m confident he didn’t make it to the mall.

  3. The level of detail in the comic shop is amazing, I shudder to think of how much time that took to put together. And if Quinn and Ellie are now shopping together who actually got their gumption together to go get the BluRay player? Or did they just skip it? Arrgh, I want to know what happened and was expecting closure to that little episode!

    1. Well, perhaps after the slap fest, they may have decided to beat feet because one or the other of their hearts desire was about to leave the store. Soooo… instead of waiting for a couple of punks, and a poster icon, I think that Qui… Mr. Not Mine never gave back to Ell… Mr. Lavender was the one who dumped the slushie on the duo from “Weird Science.”

  4. Juniper Buckingham. A drunken hussy. Barely alive following an accident involving a bathroom stall and a desperate woman with Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Gentlemen…we can rebuild her. We have the technology. It was left near the bathroom by some random fatty. We have the capability to make the world’s first bionic drunk. Juniper Buckingham will be that drunk. Better than she was before. Better…stronger…faster. Five miles an hour faster and powered by pure alcohol, she is….The Six Million Dollar Drunk.

        1. I totally want to see shirt that says either “The Bionic Drunk” or “The Six Million Dollar Drunk” on the front and “I’ll be five miles per hour behind you” on the back. A picture of Juniper riding the scooter would be great but not required. I can picture a bottle of booze in that little basket though.

        2. On the off chance that’s actually a plan, I’m totally signing off. It’s yours if you want it!

        3. Instead of the bionic noise being lifted from the tv show, it’s created by clinking bunches of empty alcohol bottles. In varying amounts of numbers, sizes and agitations.

        4. Only one bottle of booze in Juniper’s motorized cart? I think not. Hell, she’s probably towing a little red wagon behind the scooter to carry enough booze to last her another hour.

        5. That’s the best thing about those carts; you can tow LOTS of booze and it frees up your hands so you can drink while shopping…

    1. If James finds out you’re sufficiently knowledgeable of Batwoman to understand the implications, it will shatter his mind. It’s gonna be all “Say Anything” up in here, and he’s gonna be outside your apartment with a boom box at eleven at night.

        1. First, I don’t “totes” anything.

          Second, my plan is to push Ellie and her killer chest at him while I blend into the crowd. If he survives, he has a story for his mother. If he doesn’t, he’ll die happy.

  5. Haaahaa, Juniper’s last line. *snort*

    Also, I thought no one liked bat woman?? I’m not really a bat women aficionado.
    Also isn’t it Bat girl?

    whatever, the truth is that I’ve always wanted to use one of those motor chairs.

    1. The worst part about that is that we don’t KNOW there was a “fatty” involved. Juniper could well have taken that from a little old lady somewhere. And indeed, Batwoman and Batgirl are two different things. Very different. Suggest you hie thee hence to the nearest Wiki for the scoop.

      1. Batgirl isn’t even the same thing all the time. Like Dick Robin or Tim Robin. My favorite Batgirl is Cassandra Cain.

        1. I kind of like Stephanie Brown. She’s paying back for the crap her dad pulled. And while she seems like a creampuff, she’s got the gumption to train at Bat Man levels. While she has a way to go, she’ll get there. . . Or take the chair from Jun.. Mr. Rainbow.

          I wonder if the mall rents those things out.

        2. It’s a tossup between the two. Cassy had the traditional Batgirl problem of “Date Batman or Robin” problem, and that was always fun. Steph was crazy like Harley Quin, but with less killing (mostly).

      2. That’s what I was thinking. The ‘fatty’ was probably an octogenarian with a healing broken hip. :D

  6. Aunt Juni must be driving mom crazy. She’s staying to look like she’s squinting. The Clint Eastwood thing is scary.

      1. I suspect Juniper has plenty of practice ignoring that look, and if she still feels any challenge, more than enough blood alcohol.

  7. I like the Ginger and Juniper dynamic going on. One would think that the oldest sibling would command a bit more respect than she actually does. Or maybe Ginger DOES have that respect, but Juniper simply doesn’t care?

    1. I’d bet Ginger is used to commanding authority as Mom, which doesn’t impact her siblings as much as her children, but Juniper is possibly most immune to it (possibly even more than Tarra, one of the few times Tarra might be capable of being beaten at…anything).

  8. Ah, there it is! I was waiting for Juni to get into trouble, and after she seemed to have gotten away with breaking into the store, we now have a case of Grand Theft Scooter! Now I get to wait and see if anything comes of it.

    1. Also, Pumpkin and Batwoman. I confess I love the modern Batwoman as well, and I am certainly not gay (I’m actually asexual) so we can still sit and wonder rather than take it as confirmation. Back to Batwoman, there’s good things to be said about a female crime fighter who wears an outfit that totally covers her body (even if it is skin tight) and is savvy enough to avoid high heels.

      1. They totally gave her high heels in DCUO. Which surprised me. Well it did and it didn’t, they share and reskin a lot of costume components and no one else in game has anything even approaching the distinct low heel combat type sole she wears, so instead of giving her flat soled boots they went the other way.

        1. Form shame! The heels were specifically pointed out in the comic, with the implication of how ridiculous they were in the sort of combat situations she would be putting herself in! High heels may looks sexy, but they tend to be tough to even walk in, with the heightened risk of twisting a heel and hurting yourself just from walking to say nothing of actually fighting in them. I shouldn’t be surprised, though. We all know sex sells, so of course they’d go for some sexy heels.

        2. As a guy, I can’t say from personal experience, but toward the end of my time involved in competitive ballroom dancing, I was sometimes surprised (when it occurred to me) how stable and agile a woman can be in those.

          Actually my second-to-last dance partner told me once that she wasn’t even comfortable in less than 3″ heels.

          Not saying high heels are a sensible choice, just saying I know some women who could probably use high heels with a carbon-steel or titanium heel as an effective weapon (and that’s before any martial arts training) and still have 80-95% of the agility/balance that they would in flats.

  9. Well, it could just be that Pumpkin really likes a well-written book. Or wants to do a cosplay of her. Or … I got nothing.

  10. For those interested in such things here is the latest wiki update on wiki progress. I admit to being a complete wiki noob so currently it’s very no frills. Mr. Blue has some awesome ideas for graphical things and some clever thematic presentation, we just need to work out how to implement it but heavy lifting like that will probably be reserved for this weekend. In the meantime, I’ve been adding at least a page a day. Wiki’s have a bit of an organic growth and I started it off first and foremost by establishing the sisters pages and it’s slowly growing from there. I do truly believe that one of the things that makes Shotgun Shuffle more than just a webcomic I read and instead something I really enjoy is the comment section and community who post here as well as the in the forums (which is all but dead sadly.) But anyway, to give a tiny piece back to everyone who I can only hope are having as much fun as I am, I give you… (drumroll)… the Fan Hijinks page of the wiki. http://shotghunshufflefans.shoutwiki.com/wiki/Category:Fan_Hijinks Currently it only holds a placeholder for the drinking game which will be populated by much of the nonsense I spouted early on after first finding the comic and whatever other “rules” anyone else may be inclined to add. But the point is, the fans help make the entire Shuffling experience a great thing so get in there and put your own stamp on it.

    This is probably the most rah-rah, go team you’re ever likely to see me, I’m typically a cynical grouch but in various stages of sleep deprivation my filter vanishes. I’m haven’t started seeing the grid yet but I can tell it isn’t far off. [Wakko Warner voice]Good night everybody![/Wakko Warner voice]

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