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Jurassic Universe

I hate this hacker crap! Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. And because I'm thankful for my readers, I snuck in some fanservice, ZebraGirl Now I know about Rule 34: If it exists, there's porn of it. But what about cosplay? Does that have its own number?   dilo 3 dilo 2 dilo 4

130 thoughts on “Jurassic Universe

        1. Staying within canon for the source never seemed like something I’d consider as a likely concern for Rule 34’ers, but then again I can’t say I’ve really looked around to try to get a good sample, and it’s certainly possible that ridiculous ones get pointed out more easily.

        2. I’m happy to hear that. Breaking a character’s legs for the porn being drawn of them would seem to step the creepiness factor up by an order of magnitude.

      1. Actually, after reading that, I decided to do a search for it specifically, and came up COMPLETELY empty-handed. Which, personally, is more surprising than actually finding some.

    1. Good catch, and looking at that made me notice that Iron Billie appears to be talking about Pumpkin, Ashliii, & Bubbles rather than the Patreon (which had been my first thought reading through comments).

      Glad to see the Horrible Movie Club is back in session. Though I’m guessing the ever-encroaching hair over her right eye is not a good sign regarding here mental balance.

        1. Most likely, but considering Pumpkin’s comments about Ellie’s & Anise’s enjoyment of bad movies causing friction with the original club, it’s not likely they’d get along.

    2. Ah, yes. I see it now. It’s a trap!

      It was crazy-eyed mom’s plan the whole time to hobble Ellie with fatter-cat. How can Ellie flee now?

      1. I’m sure it was on the cutting room floor for Stephen King in writing Misery. Much more family-friendly this way, though.

      1. Her hair has been slowly creeping over her right eye more and more over the span of the Patreon arc, looks like it’s kept going, and hard to tell past that.

        Although, if Ellie didn’t lose the balloons in James’ house or car, it would’ve been hard for Pumpkin and her friends to fail spotting Ellie, so a reaction is quite possible. Also even if balloons were lost, someone on crutches draws attention too.

        1. Maybe I’m just seeing things, since the latest patreon update left Pumpkin pretty upset. It’s easy to forget that the two comics take place a month or so apart when they both were posted the same day.

          That being said, I still think she looks sulky. It probably is because she’s working on dat emo hair, and emo hair makes everyone look sulky.

        2. I think it could go either way, and be for almost any reason. I’ve certainly seen teen sulkiness last for months, so she could even be surly from the Quinn thing (and seeing Ellie might’ve reminded her of Ellie yelling at her and including the “I tell you everything part” could’ve been a different twist seeing her on crutches on a date with some guy she might or might not recognize as being connected to Quinn through Ian before he ran away).

          All your ideas sound feasible, and if it’s important, then we’ll get evidence of it sometime in the next twenty or so comics, unless it’s just extra sleeper background for even farther out.

        3. Ellie couldn’t have told Pumpkin. It seems that this is immediately after taking the job from Tired Guy (Herbert?). So this might be the first that they’ve been in the presence of each other.

        4. Basically with Pumpkin’s hair, if you look at the last Patreon, it’s a shorter version of Quinn’s. She’s slowly styling it like hers. The difference is, she doesn’t wear a barrette, so it falls in her face. This works well since she’s slowly covering her face along with binding her chest. She’s not very comfortable with who she is at the moment.

        5. She’s got some issues. But then, which teen doesn’t?

          And if someone here says they didn’t, they’re either in denial, lying or not out of their teenie years as of yet.

        6. They wouldn’t necessarily draw more than a cursory glance, but that’s a glance at them which all the people around them not on crutches might not have gotten.

          As for the reason, just that our attention is drawn to something out of the norm from what we’re expecting more than more again of the same.

        7. One cursory glance at her is definitely not enough…2 or 3 long stares might carry a person thru.

    1. Okay, now I remember what I was going to say. First of all, I thought that you might have been referencing Michael J. Fox, not the so called thrilling one. But if we extrapolate from the possibility that Ellie is sitting in the second to the row seat with her (supposedly) crutches taking up the outside seat as a deterrent to keep people from walking over her feet, then there is likely one seat next to little mikey.

      1. “Give us our planet back, mammals! We were here first!”

        In fact I think there was a Star Trek episode about that– “Distant Origin”. And wasn’t V basically the same plot?

        1. Wait, no, the Voyager episode was about evolution. I’m mixing it up with the many other reptile aliens on Star Trek. Did the dinosaurs wear Nazi uniforms at any point?

        2. Maybe it was the Voyager one with the Hirogen on the holodeck that I was remembering.

          (TOS had alien Nazis too, though they looked human. It seems to be a recurring meme among Star Trek writers.)

        3. It’s the basic “how do we make it clear they are evil? – Eh, let’s make them nazis!” trick.

        4. There was a Nazi episode, but they were basic humaniform – you might be thinking of an episode of Angel that had demon nazis

        5. Nah, there were two more, both with somewhat reptilian aliens in Nazi uniforms: The Hirogen from Voyager in the two-parter “The Killing Game”, and the Na’khul from Enterprise in the two-parter “Storm Front”.

  1. I hate it when i forget what I was going to say.

    However, we could have also had a tribute to “Ghostbusters” if that cigarette stuck to the raptor’s lip.

  2. Anyone tell me what the best games are for the Wii U?
    Son wants one, but I’d like to get something for my daughter to play on it. She’s 8, almost 9. No pretty pretty princess stuff. She’s a tomboy.

    1. Honestly I think I’d suggest Splatoon, I’d imagine that both would like it. I’ve never played it myself, but I’ve watched it and heard good things about it from those who have.

      They have several Mario games out if that’s of interest. If they like building things Mario Maker would probably suit them, while allowing them to play a crazy amount of fan made levels.

      I doubt they’re into an RTS sort of game but if they are Pikmin 3 is pretty fun, I’m just not sure if they’d be quite old enough for that.

      You could also go with a Lego game, those are almost always liked by kids(and most adults) But I’d put my money on Splatoon honestly. If they were older I’d totally suggest Monster Hunter as I love those games, but I don’t think many kids below like 12 would appreciate it.

      1. I watched a play through of Splatoon per your suggestion and I dunno. Looks like it would get old fast. Is all you do run around and try to coat more of the playing field with paint than your opponent?

        1. That’s the most basic premise, but there is a fun little single player campaign, and the online matches generally have more than just going for the most coverage (solely focusing on getting the ground or getting the other team doesn’t win many matches, but balance is key). Plus, the rounds are short, so you get that bit of added chaos thrown in (the am shuffling, map rotation, etc [actutally, that’s about it…])

          Smash is good (saw you already have that covered). Any of the Mario games are solid (I mean, it’s Mario, you can’t really mess that up) and for some quick/easy/asymmetrical multiplayer, NintendoLand has some good stuff in it (lots outings that’re effectively tech demos for the various functions of the game pad with the TV, but still some good stuff, and it can be gotten on the cheap)

          Game & Wario is nothing but mini-games (much like the previous warioware games) and while a few are kind of “meh” it has some fun multiplayer stuff too.

          If she likes racing, Mario kart 8 (again, can’t go wrong with Mario)

          The Windwaker HD remake is good (they just took the original, shined it up, and added a screen-shot ability) if she’s into Zelda style games.

          Hyrule Warriors is basically any of the Dynasty/Sanurai/Gundam/whatever Warriors games, but Zelda characters (you get to be the pretty princess with armor & a rapier, huzzah!). So that’s a neat one if a bit more fast paced, tons of enemies on screen at a time type gameplay.

          Plus (good feature) it’s fully backwards comparable with Wii games, so anything in that library is available too.

        2. There was an article on Cracked where someone was talking about how they felt Splatoon was one of the best games in the multiplayer “shooter” genres to date. I don’t remember all his points, but it painted the games in a pretty good light. I’d suggest giving it a read and seeing if that affects your opinion at all.

        3. I will also vouch for Splatoon being a surprisingly fun and addicting game. There is a lot of variety in the weapons you can pick which changes up the gameplay drastically, and once you unlock ranked matches there is a lot more focused strategy to the matches (eg. capture the flag instead of just covering territory with ink).

          The one thing to keep in mind with Splatoon though is that it is primarily an ONLINE game, and you only get one profile per console. There is a local multiplayer mode (one player uses the TV, the other the Wii U controller screen), but it is severely limited and will probably get old fast. So unless your kids are happy sharing a profile and taking turns with online matches, it’ll probably be a game only one of them plays.

        4. Hmmm… Definitely something to think about.
          Ill say I haven’t counted it out, and I’ll buy it if I’m unable to get the other stuff the kids want. Right now I’m looking heavily into the whole Lego Dimensions thing. Which has franchises involved my kids already adore. So we’ll see. :D

        5. I haven’t played myself, but watched some of my friends playing those quite a lot. From my experience, both how they looked to me and how my friends enjoyed them, the LEGO games are definitely a suitable candidate!

        6. I’ve played most of the Lego games on PS3, and they are oddly enjoyable, and many quite cheap anymore. Not a lot of replay value for the normal ones, though. Not sure with the Dimensions, as I haven’t looked into that one as I’m drifting away from consoles and back towards PC gaming (since Sony stopped backwards compatibility it’s irritating to need all the extra systems to be able to play old games the way that I can with PCs, and more irritating when you find one you haven’t touched in 10 years no longer works when you expected it to).

        7. I know that you ended up getting Splatoon at this point, but I just wanted to remedy an error in my post.

          Apparently you CAN have multiple profiles per console, you just can’t select them from within the game itself. You’ll need to make a separate NNID (with its own Mii) and you can toggle between accounts from the Wii U menu. Just thought I’d let you know that it IS an option, in case your kids wanted to keep separate accounts.

          Source: https://www.reddit.com/r/splatoon/comments/3a7rrm/question_about_splatoon_multiple_accounts/

    2. Super Smash Bros hands down, no competition has to be bought. Absolutely nothing compares to it. Nothing. If you own a Wii-U you have to own this. Its a fighting game. You can even set it up where the two of you fight AI enemies.

      Super Mario Maker. Its Mario and she gets to build stuff (great for young developing minds blah blah blah). You could build courses for her to beat and visa-versa.

      Eventually the Metroid Prime Trilogy will be released digitally for dirt cheap. It stars Samus (female) shooting aliens. Low violence overall, lots of exploration. It is one of the most critically beloved trilogies of all time and all of them are great.

      1. Super smash. Check.

        I was already betting on that one since it has Mario and Pikachu. That covers both my kids interests.

        And for the console I was going to buy the Mario maker bundle. So check on that too. :D

        1. (On phone, so not entering my normal email = diff avatar, yes I’m excessive on privacy even with my own devices)

          I don’t know newest version of Smash Bros, but was also going to recommend it, with the proviso that it can easily cause heated temper between players. Most irritating PvP move I recall is Donkey Kong’s pickup throw and then jumping off edge (DK doesn’t gain a point, but victim loses one). Fun for all ages otherwise, though.

          I only played the first two Metroid Prime games, but I wouldn’t generally expect younger than teen to enjoy them. Also a bit of a survival in low light with occasional surprises-type of game. Not horror or anything, but could give a kid your son’s age nightmares, daughter too if she’s a nervous type (though that usually doesn’t seem to go with tomboy tendencies).

    3. My (admittedly older) daughter wanted us to buy a Wii U for the Zelda Windwaker re-release. Despite the fact that we’d finished the game multiple times on the GameCube. They played Zelda games around your daughter’s age, but generally needed help here and there. They’re good growing-into games, though. My youngest is a little older than your daughter, and he loves the Zelda games and Kirby games. He was indoctrinated young though. :)

      For the record, we don’t actually have a Wii U, so the other recommendations are probably more valuable. Windwaker was a good game on the GameCube, for what it’s worth.

    4. The Wonderful 101 is one of the more underrated titles. You basically take control of a massive Power Rangers-like superhero team. It’s one of my personal favorites.

      Rayman Legends is also really good.

  3. “She doesn’t have any frills. Disgusting”

    Stupid and glorious beyond all belief. Magnificent. They uploaded a virus.

    Is that Michael Jackson doing his famous “eating popcorn” thing? Whatever, MJ is alive in this universe. Its cannon!

  4. That would be the most horrible of all killer computer viral uploads: Newman in an Elvis jumpsuit. . Great movie smashup, Chris.

  5. :Leave it to the Nicholas Sparks enthusiast to not appreciate the two-and-a-half hour orgy of science fiction joy playing out before her.

    1. I really think when you add the crutches to the top of the rest of the pile of what she expected from this date, a certain dampened excitement is quite reasonable.

      1. I didn’t know “scaly” was a fetish. The varieties of what people like are always so much more far reaching than I would’ve imagined. Also terrifying.

        1. I’m happy to say I don’t have an answer for you. I’m very deliberately not going to look for one, either.

      1. And who supports the resulting Volksdragons? The grandparents, that’s who. They always get stuck with taking care of the kids while the parents go out and party.

        1. “Volksdragon” oh my gosh that is so awesome! :D

          I need to find a way to use that term somewhere somehow!

      2. Oh, I have a gif of that. It’s hilarious. Someone parked a VW illegally and a dragon is raping it into lawfulness. Never knew it was someone’s jackin’ material.

    1. As the Lazy One, I’d say Ellie should go for disability. If she wants to buck her Sister Council title, still workman’s comp.

    1. I voted my three times today.

      Also, the world still exists! I took a week off to binge on Fallout 4 and I was starting to have my doubts. We’ll just say that the transition back to “the real world” has been rough.

  6. Lol, thats one weird movie, good thing they never made one so messed up lol.
    And dino porn”shudder” don’t wanna know…

  7. It’s going to get really really weird later on when Alan Grant turns out the be the bad guy and this turns into Event Horizon.

    1. Also, I would pay ALL THE MONEY for any movie that features a T-Rex attacking and eating a demon. I don’t care if it’s a remake of “Chairman of the Board,” make it happen, Hollywood.

      1. Yes! What about Morpheus riding/releasing a T-Rex that eats Dr. Weir as the closer to the DO YOU SEE scene?

        Jurassic Horizon: Reloaded

  8. “Now I know about Rule 34: If it exists, there’s porn of it. But what about cosplay? Does that have its own number?”
    If there’s art of it, someone will dress like it. That’s probably something like Rule 1 of cosplay.

    1. In that vein, I suspect Picasso-inspired cosplayers frequently end up with stiff necks or backs.

      I do kinda’ want to see that now, though.

        1. I wasn’t thinking people would try to take Picasso-inspired cosplay in a sexy direction.

          Although, if you take it farther than sexy cosplay and into bedroom role play, my suspicion of how that would work is that it’d end up similar to this week’s Oglaf ( oglaf.com/clumsyfetish for people coming through here later).

          WARNING: Oglaf is rarely safe for work (often has full nudity and depicts sex), and the one mentioned above most definitely is not safe for work.

        2. Oglaf is also often absolutely brilliant. But yeah.

          One way I could see it work as a sexy cosplay is, if only the clothing was in Picasso style. That would pretty much automatically make any piece of clothing sexy by way of being very revealing.

      1. You should try watching the unaired pilot for Archer. It’s on the season 1 DVD if you can’t find it anywhere else.

      2. In my original draft, I mentioned Sam Neill & Jeff Goldblum being a giant improvement in casting as well, but it looked too wordy.

        Thinking back, yeah, I think you’re right. The human switcheroo is the bigger improvement. :)

        Still, DINO-SAURS IN SPACE!!!!

        (I love you, Dr. McNinja.)

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