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Mondays Off

Nena really likes her webcomics. If you've never read Socially Inept Zombie, I totally suggest giving it a read. It's quite good.

69 thoughts on “Mondays Off

  1. Ellie really should have read the contract first.
    Or got a contract.
    Or spent more than a minute thinking about the job before accepting.
    At least she should have asked how much she’s getting paid for this crap.

    1. Paid, as in money? Perhaps you aren’t aware of how this kind of thing works. This is an internship. She is receiving valuable experience, in exchange for an 80-100 hours a week of work. Oh, and don’t put any of this on your resume, and we will deny everything if you do.

    1. I guess the guys will be interested in spending some $$$ over expensive dates to charm someone like her, so the contract could include, as “extra advantages”, the free expensive brunches and lunches and dinners and movies and presents and popcorn and theme park tickets and and and …

  2. Awkward zombie is the bomb. I used to follow KT on Deviant Art before the webcomic was even a thing, she’s always had a great sense of comic timing.

    And Ellie has signed herself up for dating hell. There are a ton of logistical problems with this as well, are all of the website users from Lakeland? I tend to doubt it so she’s probably going to end up traveling a lot which sucks. Plus, at the end when Tired Guy finds his macguffin he may unceremoniously fire Ellie since his “business” may be a cover for other nefarious activities.

    1. I hadn’t heard of that comic before and I’d assumed it was Ellie’s next date until I got to the author post.

      I could see Tired Guy expecting her to date the undead.

      1. Almost exclusively gaming humor, she got her start on DA doing strips about the cast of Smash Brothers (but with lots of zany.). Also expect lots of WOW jokes.

  3. I’m liking the Nena art. Nice facial expressions for her in both panels 1 & 2. And now Ellie knows why Nena is ‘The Doomsayer’, judging by her expressions in the last two panels. Poor Ellie. She’s going to have date fatigue, and may even get sick of her beloved Red Lobster.

      1. Actually, Nena is doubly the Sayer of Dooms: she appoints Ellie’s dates, and she destroys all would-be recurrent suitors. Nice. Love her eyes, too.

  4. Why do I get the feeling that the phrase “curt yet sympathetic” will end up making a lot of dudes throw themselves out of high windows?

    1. You know you’re badly off when your Dear John letter is addressed, “To James Blackford Or Current Resident”.

  5. That’s a lot of motivating…She better hope that some of these dudes don’t have duplicate accounts or know each other. That could get even more awkward, real fast. Also, what if a “date” runs over time. Will Durkin come in and break the date up? So many things can go wrong here. Brunch is normally 9/10 am and lunch is either 12/1 pm. Not much time in-between. Lunch/Dinner not a big deal…plenty of time to freshen up and be ready to eat again. Also, what about movies or walks in the park or just hanging out at a bar. The James date was definitely over 3 hours with the detour back home to get the tickets. That wouldn’t leave much time to get to the next date, unless Nena has taken that into account and scheduled dates that are close enough geographically so Ellie can make it there on time, even with the closely scheduled dates. So much chaos on the horizon!!!

    But, onto the math…at 3 dates a day 6 days a week, that’s 18 dates a week. She will “save” Mr Night $1080.00 a week in fees that won’t have to be reimbursed. That comes out to $56160.00 a year if you go by 52 weeks. This also takes into account, no vacations for Ellie cause after all, she’s going on all expense paid dates so every day is a vacation. Now if she gets 2 weeks then it drops down to $54000.00 and if she gets a whole 4 weeks then it drops to $51840.00. This works out well for Mr Night.

    1. Easy for Nena to claim, and clue in Ellie, for brunch dates that she has to be done by 11:30 to make it to work. It actually wouldn’t even be a lie.

      Three dates/day for six days per week, unless strictly limited to two hour dates (and allowing 4 to overflow to three hours), will go over 40 hours per week. Even faster when you consider potential commute time involved between brunch & lunch. Having her as an independent contractor might allow him to ignore overtime rules and not have to worry about payroll tax & benefits and whatnot, but a couple of paychecks that way if Ellie asks anyone about financial obligations (i.e. payroll tax and the quarterly tax payments due as an independent contractor paid via 1099 vs W-2) will be enough for her to realize that she’s making less than minimum wage (especially if she’s paying her own gas to travel between dates) at this and working hours she should be getting overtime.

      Either that or Tired Guy’s going into the red to keep her. He might be able to draw it out by paying her monthly and have Durkin drive her around so she doesn’t notice mounting travel cost initially. But then again he’s theoretically paying Durkin for the same time too. I’d say it depends on his real motive for what makes sense here. He might be willing to sink enough money on it that he can actually pay them both well enough that they’ll both go for it for a while. If he’s not, the longer he strings Ellie, whom he seems to know to be the daughter of a chief of his municipality’s police force, a judge, or both, the greater the chance he gets outside legal authorities to notice his operation. Additionally, there’s Tara to consider, and he may want to either gain or avoid her notice (we did hear Ellie would be working with Tarra’s David after the garbage with Danny was complete, after all, though it’s uncertain if this is job a new addition for transition with Patreon comics added or not)

  6. Gee, I hope they’re spreading out the places where she meets these guys, ’cause someone is BOUND to see her again within the area. Three times a day. Six days a week.

    ….does this plan usually work out for them? ‘Cause it seems like a plan worked out for MULTIPLE girls, not just one, where the plan has the highest chance of falling apart.

  7. With that kind of schedule, Ellie is more of a cheap prostitute than a high-priced call girl.

    She needs to learn to say, “No.”

    And do they really think that one of these 18 dates a week isn’t going to respond badly to the “Sorry, no next date” message?

      1. Pimps usually don’t.

        Not that Ellie considers herself a prostitute at all, or is crossing that particular line. But they do seem to be treating her as one.

        1. In some ways, but not completely. Mechwarrior is right that this whole thing seems to be a cover for something. Without knowing their end goal, it’s hard to say how much Ellie’s problems are collateral damage or an integral part of the plan.

  8. Looks like Ellie is going to be breaking many many hearts for the next couple of weeks, poor girl won’t be able to go anywhere in awhile. Lol

  9. Poor James. This seems far more mercenary than I would have originally thought. I’m not sure how this “encourages” them if they’re going out exactly once, and then getting dumped (and I’m pretty sure it would be “dumped” not “sympathetically let them know you’re not interested”).

    So when does Ellie get a real job again?

    1. That likely depends on how long it takes Ellie to quit. Maybe how long it takes Tired Guy to get what he actually wants out of this whole thing, but I’m guessing Ellie will quit first.

    2. Doubtful that this was ever really intended to encourage anyone, it’s just the line Tired Guy used to scam Ellie into doing it. Probably it’s more like “Yeah, we promised you’d get a date and you got one, now shut up and hand over your money.”

  10. I’m surprised I’m the first to say this, but I have to agree with Nena. I donut donuts too.

    Rusche, that seems to me like it’d make a good additional option to submit to your Society6 store (assuming they don’t charge you for options, which I’m assuming they don’t as they appear to be print-on-demand).

      1. Ah, such a shame. I’ve seen the “I [picture of cheeseburger] cows” and “I [picture of scribbles] unparsable symbols” shirts, but that one isn’t one I’ve run into before.

        1. To be fair, we don’t know how big Gravatarless’ monitor is and what resolution he has it set at.

  11. Chuck Barris: Ok, this is kind of drawing things out, but Spencer the cat is sooooooo fat….
    Audience: groan collectively – how fat is he?
    Gene Rayburn: Really? Charles, you and Brett need to quit necking around up there.
    Charles Nelson Reilly: She’s a damn Vampire, Gene. But she’s got this stupid idea about boy toy sparkly vampires and she wants me to be their head vampire. Can you see me being all glam and that? Where’s my piggy back ride?
    Brett Somers: HISSSSSSSSSSS I AM THE NIGHT
    Richard Dawson: We haven’t had anything this screwy since Bob Crane and Werner Klemperer hosted that bake sale at ABC’s Battle of the Network Stars.
    Howard Cosell: That bake sale was Le Gen Dair EEE.
    Richard Dawson: This is ridiculous. Top seven answers are on the board. 100 people were polled. Spencer the Cat is so fat,
    audience: HOW FAT WAS HE
    Richard Dawson: Don’t make me come out there and kiss you.
    audience: ……..
    Richard Dawson: Spencer the cat was so fat, when he sat around the house, this was thrown out.

  12. Is it just me or eating out at restaurants constantly sounds horrible? Like it has got to get tiring over time… specially if you feel obligated to finish your meals… D:

  13. Well Ellie, looks like u will have to work your butt of for real this time to get any paycheck.
    I hope her sanity stays intact while doing all those dates with those dateless guys..

    1. [puts on Resident Archivist hat]

      As per comic The Final Con III (currently dated March 10, 2015), it has and Ellie missed the hiring burst for jobs there on Danny’s garbage.

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