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Mr. Stevens’ English Class

For anyone who was still surprised, Ashliii already told you who he was in Rage Text.

145 thoughts on “Mr. Stevens’ English Class

        1. You most definitely have the wrong series there bub. And Bubbles is blonde in that one.

          So, the kid works at the drive in. The second of the jobs at which are cartoonist has worked?

    1. Were you the one who guess that Blind Guy was the teacher who wanted all essays read aloud and visited the buger place to see who the plagerizing big sister was and then commented on it sometime back in the past?

  1. Somehow I still didn’t expect this turn of events… so now we know who “Blind Guy” is…

    …which… kind of makes it slightly more creepy, that he stalks Ellie, knocked Tired Guy out cold, and… uh… whatever he ends up doing next time we see him interact with Ellie. >_>

    1. Nah, not really creepy… though Ellie may agree with you when she finds out. He did refuse to feel up both her wrist and face when she offered, so it’s unlikely that he has nefarious intentions toward her obvious aspects. Kudos, Rusche. The pace and sequence of your reveals are intriguing. Mah head asplode!

      1. If he was blind from birth, I wonder how much he’d actually care about/appreciate Ellie’s physique in ways that she has an advantage over others (for example, relative smoothness factor of younger skin wouldn’t be uncommon). I’ve never known anyone blind from birth well enough to start that conversation (so also not enough to get a good representative sample).

        1. He might not appreciate all of them in the same way, but he’d probably appreciate some of them in new ways. Smooth skin feels as good as it looks. And I bet she smells pretty good too.

  2. So, is Steven his first name or last name? The Mister implies the latter, but it sounds a whole lot more like the former.

  3. *hangs head down in shame* I cant believe they were right all this time, he really IS Punpkin’s teacher *head slams on desk*

  4. oooOOOOOooooh! So. He was aware at the beginning of the story that Ellie plagiarized Pumpkins essay. He’s the teacher that wanted to meet with Mrs. Buckingham. Clearly he wasn’t a teacher when Ellie was at the school, or she would have recognized him. Is it possible (since he hears all the things) that he learned that this was the catalyst for Ellies booting from the Buckinham nest? Is he a replacement for the Ellie-obsessed stalker teacher? If so, then he may have become aware of her through the gossip from other teachers.

    1. It would be extra funny if he was the replacement for crazy stalker teacher since he seems to be acting a bit stalkerish. Maybe Ellie is like Mary in “There’s something about Mary,” she just attracts crazy like a magnet.

      1. That is a real phenomenon. I have attracted nothing but bipolar, borderline personality disorder, pathological liars, drug addicts, etc.

        Not all at the same time mind you, but I am the litmus test amongst my friends. If I find a woman attractive, stay the HELL away from them.

      2. The original stalker, who was in her house, wearing her stuff, and shopped at the Get Mart, was a math teacher.

        Mr. Stevens, seems to be the english lit. teacher.

        1. Speaking of which it’s kind of weird I read this for almost six months before I started commenting. And I hadn’t realized I’ve been following it over a year now. Good job keeping me hooked =D

  5. As the father of college-age girls, this revelation sets off small alarms in my head…

    Admittedly, BG seems young-ish (probably in the 24-28 range)… In previous discussions, I believe we determined Ellie was ~20, so the age difference probably isn’t all that great, but still…

    1. Issues with age gaps in relationships is something thats fairly new actually. Its only been the last 20-30 or so years where a stigma developed for people to be involved with someone greater than or less than 2 years their own age.

      I believe this is tied in with how the school systems have influenced peoples perception over social norms, having students split up and kept within their class body over the course of their education.

      If you look at the average married couple in their late 50s for example, their is a greater degree of age difference than those say in their 20’s or 30’s.

      My parents are less than a year apart between them, my grand parents however have a 15 year age difference lol

      1. The rule always applies for men.
        Over 21– Half your age +7 is the minimum otherwise its creepy (rounding up is usually recommended..)

        1. So what. He got permission first. Hell, it’s better than some families who keep the family secret in the family for generations.

        2. Here’s another one. Guy hurts back on the job, gets disability from the job. Has a high school daughter, marries a kid two years older (or something like that) than his daughter and has her move into the house with them all.

        1. That one is great, is it still one of the random site headers? I haven’t been paying attention lately…

        2. Yes. It is, I’ve been watching every so often. It pops up with the FORUM, people!!

          yes. go to the forum. Tell us what happened today, on the way to the forum.


          It’s at the top of the page.

  6. So his age is anywhere from 21 to 25 at the youngest. Some education graduates get really lucky and get a teaching job immediately after their student teaching gig. Looks like he did. I actually would put him at 25.

  7. I wonder how bad the original forgery was.

    My fifth grade teacher told us once that for an essay one of her students just copied from the book, and wrote all the things like, ‘see picture to the right’, and, ‘see page 174’.

    1. It still had the “please donate to wikipedia” link pasted in so about on par with the one your teacher was talking about.

  8. Ashliii surprises me with how quickly she is ready to jump back into the working world. Though since she appears to be planning to get an iNimbus maybe it isnt’ too surprsing.

    Looking forward to family awkward time. I wonder if Ellie will be able to exlain to her twin that geting fired is a valid reason to buy an expensive gift for her?

        1. GASP




          *starts to run around his room, apartment and the building while yelling…*


  9. I have to say, it’s the little things that I always love.

    A while ago in comments someone mentioned the different colored word bubbles for different characters. I also like how (since your lettering is done in all caps) ASHLiii’s name is always done with the lowercase i’s, to really bring across the silly-ness of her name.

    Keep up the Awesome!

    1. I was the color coded speech bubble commenter, but I hadn’t really noticed Ashliii’s lower case i’s until you pointed it out.

      And I totally agree, Chris is awesome at the little touches.

  10. Uh-oh, Ellie looks like she’s a bit shell-shocked here. She looked kinda mello in the last strip, but now I’m thinking we’re in for a little break down. Luckily for her, Quinn is more understanding than she was at the beginning of the strip so it’s not likely that she will try to throw Ellie out at the first opportunity now, but Ellie’s still going to need a job quick or she’s in deep doo-doo.

  11. “For anyone who was still surprised, Ashliii already told you who he was in Rage Text.” – Yes, but all she says is “Mr. Steven’s” [sic]; we don’t know BG’s name at that point…

    1. Yes, but from some of the things Rusche wrote in the comments and the Rage Text comic, I figured it out. The clues were there from the start, which shows consistent and careful writing. Well done Chris!


      1. I saw the clues and have been in on the discussions; my point is that what Ashliii said really didn’t reveal anything useful…

        1. Yea hats off to Feros for finding this one. Admittedly, when his(her?) comment posted, putting all the pieces together, the subsequent discussion was hilariously entertaining to watch.

        2. It’s “He.” There are mostly female avatars around here, so getting a male one is low odds. :)

          As to what was said by Ashliii that gave me the critical clue: “Mr. Stevens makes us read our papers out loud.” While that is an interesting teaching technique, it is also very unusual. When combined with everything else, the whole story just flowed out.

        3. HHHHHHHHH — oops. sorry about that.

          BUT he remembered the pool. hee hee.

          *giggles like Homer Simpson (who giggles like a little girl)*


    k that was good to get out. Also, I’m continually pleasantly surprised at the seemingly great friendship that is between Ellie and Pumpkin. I don’t know WHY I’m surprised. I just am. It is a happy surprise mind you.

    1. Well, there’s probably some solidarity amongst the sisters not older than your current avatar (Cinnamon for anyone reading after the next avatar roulette).

      1. I kind of thought that most of them may be against Cinnamon, but she wouldn’t be the worst of the lot, unless Jasmine is just drunk all the time. But I suppose that the two girls could be in a race for last place.

    1. Yeah, because of all of the texting she’s been doing. type type type type. It’s probably a good thing that she’s not using a manual typewriter.

      1. I immediately searched for Typewriter App after reading this. Nothing free looked good, unfortunately. I remember using the typewriter sounds for Monty Python’s Complete Waste of Time for as long as my college roommate at the time could tolerate (still turned it on when he was out of the room after that).

        1. Not in the way it was intended then, but you can get wine or other emulation to run the game. The interface bits can be done with other apps in modern OS’s if you feel like tinkering enough.

  13. Nope, not a clue, even after rereading the “Rage Text” page. But then I don’t ever depend on commentary outside of a comic to fill in the blanks — that’s the writer’s job, and mine.

  14. I can just imagine him trying to write on the blackboard and accidentally rubbing a cigar on the wall. Am I bad for thinking that?

    1. Only if you’ve been watching Duck Soup, then you’re okay. Otherwise, Col. Smith is going to be knocking on your door with Murdock and B.A.

  15. OOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooh.

    No wonder he can’t go for Ellie! Major creeper status if he tries to date a student’s older sister!

    Awww man, poor Ellie. Not even her fault he can’t date her :(

    1. Not so much creepiness. Ginger is probably older than him and is also Pumpkin’s older sister. More impropriety along the lines that a brand spanking new teacher can’t afford (especially if the administration is looking for an excuse that they can’t be sued over). He could get away with it once Pumpkin’s out of his class.

        1. There are things that aren’t actually a problem but that someone motivated to cause you grief can make into one. Grade school teachers have a pretty hefty share of those.

          One helicopter parent pissed off that their special little angel who can barely stop from drooling all over their pencil didn’t get an A+ can cause some major pain for a teacher. Combine that with some combination of school board, superintendent, and principal that are spinelessly risk averse, out to get that particular teacher, or MBAs looking for ways to get rid of someone more expensive in favor of someone cheaper (ignoring teaching quality, as that’s not an easily measurable metric, so very easy to fudge) and the teacher can find themself out of a job pretty easily, especially if they make a mistake or two in handling it. Granted, if he’s actually got a good and supportive administration, that won’t be a problem. What I’ve seen from friends and family working in grade schools and the apparent prevalence of zero tolerance policies makes me believe “good and supportive administration” is a rare thing for a teacher to find (I could certainly be wrong, though).

          Additionally, many professions take seriously the “avoid even the appearance of impropriety” mindset (I’ve heard it at multiple jobs, anyway). Assigning grades, which will certainly have some people looking for things to complain about, while dating one student’s sister is absolutely going to cause you at least periodic headaches. He’d probably have to hand half his assignments to another teacher to verify that they look correct/unbiased, and possibly grade Pumpkin more harshly too.

        2. I would tell those parents which side of the bread my peanut butter is on, and I don’t care. Junior or little miss can either learn the material or get out of my class.

        3. Yeah, my school district growing up was spineless. We actually ended up taking the kids that everyone else around us kicked out. Teachers don’t get much support for taking stands where the principal is spineless or extreme MBA slimy (two different ones there) with a superintendent’s office that just wants to ignore everything and a school board with possibly the slimiest ambulance chaser in the county as a long standing member (so was intimately aware with every tiny little thing that the school could be sued for).

          What you’re talking about is the sort of thing that I saw in the school districts that had reputations of being very good schools (as in maybe two public and many private schools within an hour drive). Not so much what seems common, though.

  16. Oh, by the way, there is no phone in the first panel hanging around Ellie. Isn’t the phone supposed to be somewhere in reference to the head, or is it because Ellie just got fired that the ability to levitate is been revoked for a brief period of time?

    1. Possibly, but she’s also near enough the left edge of the frame that it’s floated farther from her than that before.

      Though if it does too good of job mimicking her emotions on the cloud face, I could see this being a time she decides to turn it off/put it in her pocket instead of broadcasting how she currently feels.

  17. Wait wait wait wait…So he’s a BLIND English teacher? Anyone know how he manages that? Pretty sure those kids don’t write in braille. o_o;; Am I the only one wondering this? Or did I miss someone mentioning it before lol

      1. I remember reading the part about the reading aloud, but I figured there had to be something else to help out with that. Thanks for ending my speculation. xD

      1. Must of been a wicked force of destiny that my grava came up as said picture, and wasn’t till I read your comment that I realized how perfectly it set with my comment.

  18. I literally screamed out loud, freaked out my friends. I did not see this coming, at all!!!!! Mind blown at the missed foreshadowing.

    1. gasp


  19. Hrm- Pumpkin, Ashliii, and Bubbles… I’m getting the feeling that normal names are not going to be in the near future, are they? I guess that some of the guys have normal names- Alex, Richard, Ian, but the girls all seem to have rather odd names. By Ellie’s own admission, her original name, Lavender, was weird.

  20. So thats how blind guy somehow knew where Ellie was working, couse i don’t buy it that he went to that fast food place just for the food…

    Also, loved how the Ratches turned out!
    Whats next? fighting the infected ratches queen?

    Also Nick, my guess about the boys in Pumpkin’s school is that they are all named after the Backstreet boys and dress like them as well…

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