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Nemesis

Anyone attending Megacon in Florida, please be sure to check out my friend Lauren's booth. Her little franchise is Breakfast Bunch Homemade. You can see some of her works HERE. It's very cute.

Lauren's also made a background cameo in one of the strips. We had advanced placement art together, so obviously this is where she belongs. Lauren

My daughter Lily turned seven this last weekend. I got invited to go with some relatives to Tennessee to see some attractions. One was something called Dixie Stampede. A business venture of Dolly Parton I believe. It was a very nice gesture on the part of her great grandparents. And every now and then I'm left with such an impression from a place, I go to Google and write a review. I never checked back to see if it stuck.. but this was what I submitted as my little stint as a trip adviser:

You will read the corniest, lamest people on the internet rave about this place. The only people who will be entertained by this outdated, hokey event are either under 12 years old or over 65. If you are between these ages, and asked to go, immediately break your own hand so you have an excuse to AVOID IT. For over $50 a head, nothing, and I mean NOTHING about this dinner theater was worth it to me. I only advise going if it's 1) Grandma's 80th birthday, or 2) Little Suzie really likes "horsies." If you're in town and want something to do, there are far better shows to attend at much less the cost. If you're considering this for date-night, she will dump you on the way back to your car. I said to a family member I wouldn't mind seeing the show as long as it's not just a bunch of horses trottin' around. Guess what... Apparently, they've been doing this same exact show for 27 years. And it SHOWS. There is no interesting or new knowledge learned from this show. The premise is based on the civil war, but that's where it ends. The rest is a hodge-podge of children chasing chickens, audience-participation of horseshoe throwing (with toilet seats no less,) pig races, and light-up sequined jackets. It's very vanilla, and very generic. They need to seriously update this show. Not to make it cutting edge, but simply to hold the attention of anyone who got past middle school. The songs are uninspired, lyrically childish, and kind of show-tuney. It is like a broadway circus. The opening is a floor projection of the Dixie Stampede logo bouncing around the auditorium floor like a Window's screen saver. And that runs for 3 or 4 minutes like no one's ever seen such technology before (even though it's been used in the last 3 Olympics.) The music playing during this is literally like an old time radio bumper of four people going "Stampede, Dixie.. Dixie,, Stampeeeede.. Dixie.." I'm just waiting for my local radio station's call signs with Joe and Marty in the morning. The rest of the show features songs sung with dramatically dated 1950's flair, hand movements and over-expressive acting. Whoever is being payed to coordinate this entertainment must have died two decades ago and no one noticed he's missing.They eventually break their own 4th wall with "Skeeter" the back stage hand who commandeers the second half of the show with Steve Urkel-like antics and lame jokes. The humor is cringe-worthy. I think one of the jokes was about "Shoulda put a ring on it." Isn't this 2014?? When did that song come out? 8 years ago? Then there's the chicken dance segment. I think that's about 15 years old or older. This is when the North-vs-South concept the show is based on falls apart into just a complete mess. There's no real story, or message. Just a string of goofy events with no real direction. Songs and riding just seem to "happen." There is no war-story or recount of historical events. There's no drama, characters or intriguing dialogue. It's either slap-stick buffoonery or watching horses run figure 8's. Is this worth $50 a person to you? The food was lackluster (I only ate the roll and the dessert) but the serving staff was very pleasant. There is no silverware, so get ready to eat an entire uncut rotisserie chicken with your bare hands and slurp the soup right from the bowl. That is, if you're able to move. This is shoulder-to-shoulder style eating. You're seated in a giant, continuous booth that stretches about 50 people, with no exit unless you climb over the back of your seat (somehow.) I sat next to a lady of some girth, and I was crammed into my child the entire show so I wasn't touching some complete stranger. Who would want to eat like that? Who wants to touch someone they don't know for 2 hours? You will be pressed against whoever is next to you. This is guaranteed. I just wanted to leave, but I didn't want to upset the rest of my family that went. At one point our server asked if I wanted to be "in the show." Yes! Out of all the people there, I was selected to participate. I blurted out "ME PERSONALLY?" Her smiling "Uh-huh!" Me: "OH GOD NO!" She then looked someone hurt by this, which made me feel bad, but I was already incredibly annoyed, and increasingly uncomfortable. I wanted to be anywhere but there. Finally, when you leave, please be sure to not get trampled. As I said, the booths are 50 people long, and no way to get around the slow-mos. You have to go back up the stairs to get out (which is also like a maze to find where they are,) and the exit is only located in one section of this entire arena. Three little doors, right next to each other in the top left section. Why only one exit? If there were a fire, God forbid, 75% of the audience would die. There would be such a great loss of life it's insane. This exit is one regular door, right next to a double set of doors. The double set has a bar in the middle to divide these two doors. So be prepared to not notice and have your shoulder severed off while being pushed. So, a 1000 people, everyone leaving at once, wading through a infinite booth, up the maze of stairs, following the herd of people to small exit without getting crushed... then, what better thing to have than... going DOWN stairs!! Steep stairs, So you can't even see in front of you, you've probably lost your kids, and your spouse has been kidnapped. Now you have the luxury of nearly falling down stairs in a crowd of pushing people. What better to have facing you above these stairs than a huge portrait of Dolly and her massive boobs! This all leads to the Gift Shop. The only exit is through the tiny, cramped gift shop. So not only would you kill someone to escape this place, now you have people stopping infront of you to shop. Ugh. Took over 20 minutes to find the rest of my group in the parking lot. Still wanna go?

83 thoughts on “Nemesis

    1. I’d agree but X looks entirely too unscathed for this to be a retreat. Unless she’s suddenly down another eye on the other side, I’m thinking Tarra’s currently a clean-up on aisle five.

  1. Also, as a follow up to the “Cin in Ans’s jacket” from the last comics discussion: I call a “Ellie did it” in the near future.

        1. Then it seems to be pretty much a distraction from which sister does have the glass eye.

          Here I thought that Tarra was able to have created a 95% accurate synthetic cybernetic implant that not only mimics her right eye, but is able to do so through the interpretation of the muscular attachments and projection of said movements onto a two way projection surface that is also an image capturing surface. The Cybernetic eye would then transmit the signals to a next gen Tarratooth device imbedded into the optic nerve with a one to one nerve ending to gold plated copper wire interface. The eye was then updated through rigorous testing and software updates to be the next step above from LaForge’s visor.

          And for security purposes, can only work with the Tarraforming energy. Which would also dampen any signals that would be attempted to be intercepted by the enemy.

          So, either Anise or Cinnamon has the glass eye then. And we all kind of know that damn near all the sisters have had symmetrical pupil dilation responses and what not. But we can only see one pupil with Anise.

          But I did kind of go back, and it seems that Tarragon may have just a bit of a lazy eye, nu?

        2. Anise is the only present-time sister who could’ve possibly been walking around with a marble in an ocular cavity. So Anise lost the eye.

          X’s eyepatch must be due to future events (for example, during zombie apocalypse perhaps if the zombies are highly sensitive to UV or something Tarra chose to replace her one eye with a high-powered UV laser so she’d always have that weapon on her person).

        1. In-panel you didn’t hear “the median” so you should still be more worried if you’re one of the sisters she has to kill.

        1. *Rosemary: Did they have on clean underwear?

          *Surgeon: Yes, we found fresh pairs in the glove box. Although, we didn’t know which one got the black undies.

    1. Oh they do. They do.

      Congrats, Rusche, that makes my horror story about “Church Basement Ladies” look like a walk in the park.

    2. There’s a bunch of them in the Pigeon Forge, TN area. I haven’t personally been to Dixie Stampede, so I have no idea what it’s like, but we went to the Hatfield and McCoy show while we were in the area last year. They, at least, had individual tables… silverware… though the line to get in snakes through the gift shop, too. In fact, gift shops at the entrance/exit seems to be pretty standard for that area. My husband likes to vacation there despite the tourist trap atmosphere. Of course, his favorite activities tend to be hiking in the mountains, not going to dinner shows.

    3. There are one or two “dinner theaters” in Orange County (CA), again for the touristas. Since my lady and I are foodies the only way we would go to one of those things is if we were on a plane that crashed into it.

      Great review tho, Chris!

    1. Money’s still on Anise.

      1. She loses her phone regularly, so why not a glass eye?

      2. Who else would consider a marble a viable replacement?

      3. On a slightly unrelated note, I’d like to see her have a variety of them, like Benedict in “Last Action Hero.” You know, for different occasions.

      1. Ok, this would make sense, but then why bring that up now? I may just bee looking too deeply in this, but I feel that it will have some major plot significance soon :/

        1. Might be plot significance, or might be in response to all the “Tarra lost the eye and has a high-tech replacement” in the comments. Could go either way.

      2. Also, Freaking love that you Mentioned Last Action Hero! One of my Fav. childhood movies! Also, that would be cool, but dang she would have had to of lost a lot to get rid of them all.

        1. And to match the watch, one of the glass eyes would have to have been heated up, dropped into a bucket of ice cold water, and then the surface remelted and made smooth, so that the interior is all fractured.

        2. That and I love the thought of Anise with an explosive glass eye. Knowing her, though, you’d twist the two halves together and it would read “Milk, bread, and…” click-click-click “…Lucky Charms.”

        3. That would literally mark her own doom. She’d pull out her eye to remember, and them…BOOM!

    1. Last of Us? You never played Resident Evil did you?

      Combining all of Nemesis’s apperences, you only stop him once, and only kill him once *in a different game*.

      First time is by tricking him into an electric dynamo, the second *where you stop him* is tricking him into a smelter and dumping four vats or molten iron onto him. Even after that he’s still alive, just immobilized for awhile…not very long either.

      1. DAMN, he can’t even die by Terminator 2 standards?

        WTF!!! DML.

        I can’t think of anything more.

        With that said, I think that Sister X (I gave up the Xister) has only knocked the wind out of Tarragon. (Mr. Redhead).

        hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee
        hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee
        hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee
        hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee
        hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee
        hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee

        thank you matt

        hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee
        hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee
        hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee

      2. I got really irritated by that game. I remember blowing up an entire kitchen, and Jill saying “Oh, well looks like he’s FINALLY dead! Dur dur dur!” and the entire time, I’m thinking to myself “He ain’t gonna die till you take his head!”

        Should’ve been easy enough- there were plenty of knives all around, but Jill Valentine is dumber than a bag of hammers, and everytime she “stops” Nemesis, she never thinks about giving him the double tap, or chopping his head off. I mean, if something doesn’t die, you’d at least TRY to do some permanent damage, right?

        I had a lot more fun with Resident Evil 4 though…

        1. Oh man, that game was so fun… Not all that scary, but it was still pretty fun. Though, those regenerators and their raspy breathing always made me tense up.

          Ah, good times…

  2. Stars…..in your multitudes……..

    On a side note…..anyone think sister X kinda looks like Nice from Baccano, if anyone is familiar with that anime…..

      1. Yes, given the many comments mentioning RE, I figured that out after my own. Still, thanks for explaining clearly and not mocking my ignorance. ;)

      1. I’m not, so it sometimes takes me a few minutes (or a Google search) to figure out what y’all are talking about…

        1. Yeah, I don’t think this is a meme at all. I’ve never played a Resident Evil game, yet through cultural osmosis I am still familiar with the terms Raccoon City, Umbrella Corporation, STARS, Nemesis, and T-Virus… and I have never once seen a reference to Nemesis yelling “STARS!” as he busts through a wall, or seen anyone else depicted doing it as a joke. I didn’t even think Nemesis could talk.

        2. I don’t know, seems the standards are really low these days – like if someone talks about something on the internet it’s suddenly meme status?

        3. The reason I thought Nemesis breaking through a wall shouting STARS! had reached meme status was due to it being the ONLY line he’s ever spoken.

          He’s in nine games (forgot one lol) and a movie. Combined in all of them STARS! is the only speaking line he ever gives….and he gives it a LOT.

          I recall seeing a compilation movie on youtube that consisted of all of his apperences in the franchise, it consisted of three and a half minutes of him breaking through walls (two floows and a celing included) shouting STARS!’

          Whats sad is 1/3 of that is from Operation Racoon City, which is just a rehash of RE:3N (still favorite game in the series)

          So, breaking through a wall shouting STARS! is literally what he’s known for, its his bit, like CoolAid Man just evil and more awesome lol

      2. Apparently not, if our gaming preferences do not intersect entirely. I mean, a lifetime of gaming spanning three decades doesn’t count for anything unless you play the most popular games, am I right?

        1. That’s what early bedtime is for?

          Although I guess when you have other projects that you work on after the kid goes to bed (like this comic, or in my case, making my own video game – or more honestly, satisfying my Netflix addiction while wishing I was working on my game), it’s still hard to find the time to play.

        2. Yeah. I decided at one point I’d rather create content than continue to get obsessed over content other people made. If there’s really a game I want to see, I just watch a Let’s Play of it on Youtube.

        3. “I’d rather create content than continue to get obsessed over content other people made” = My sentiments exactly.

    1. I will only accept that if it’s as Macho Man Randy Savage instead of the Kool-Aid Man.

      If just because it would actually fit to have Sister X point to Anise and say “Hey, freakshow! You’re going NOWHERE! I gotcha for three minutes! Three minutes of playtime!”

    1. Nonono.. because according to Resident Evil physics, she can mutate a nearly-infinite amount of mass, then resort back to her original form no problem..

  3. So, let me see here…

    X is not the one with the glass eye… and the dad said that one glass eye was enough. And she wasn’t recognized by the other sisters….

    So X is obviously not one of the sisters. And the one with the missing eye is likely the weird one?

    And X talks about cancer caused in the old technique… and she is totally flat. Did she get breast cancer and they had to be removed? This just got dark.

      1. I wondered that at first too, that “sister” X might be Tag with a little modification, but that waist-hip ratio seems to be a pretty dead giveaway…

  4. Well, if we weren’t sure it was Anise who had the glass eye before, we sure are now. Even if any of the other girls were crazy enough to use a large marble, their eyes are visible and clearly free of marbles.

  5. Haha! Your comic is funny, but dear god, your review of Dixie Stampede is hilarious.
    I’ve been forced into a few circuses before, which I didn’t really enjoy, but that thing you went to sounds horrific.

  6. I’m guessing Tarra’s and X’s attacks fused, created a bunch of mini-stars and Tarra is now using them to attack X.

  7. “An aggie I think. Well, she wanted a wooden one, like Ragetti on Pirates of the Caribbean, but I talked her out of that.”

  8. My guess is that Tarra hasn’t even been hit yet. The rock wall that X is busting through is probably Tarra’s terraformed defense. Maybe trying to restrain X in a stone/asphalt container.

  9. After some stupidly close inspection, I’m about 90% site X is Tarragon from the future. The Eye colors, mouth size, and other than breast size, body dimensions all apart to be within normal parameters.

    1. Author comments, reference tendencies, method of phrasing X’s dialog, and easter eggs give an extremely high certainty that X is future Tarra.

      The flux capacitor on the belt makes X being a time traveler a near certainty, but who X is from the future has enough wiggle room to still be a twist.

        1. I juggle my recreational activities by mood. Lasts several months and then swaps a bit. I may or may not be switching to a lower percentage of webcomic consumption and boosting the others (PC games, console games, movies, TV series on DVD/BR, & bad fantasy books are my other categories). I was actually on a high percentage toward webcomics longer than normal because I was telling myself it was a quick activity, and going through comments here (and occasionally doing some research for replies) isn’t actually all that quick, also there are ~50 that I follow so that takes some time too even if I don’t regularly go through comments on any of the others right now.

          Not offended, upset, irritable about pace, or anything negative like that. Just had an insane week at work earlier this month put me off my normal schedule enough that it’s fluctuating and I’ll come down with some degree of differences in my pastime allocations (looks like a higher percentage console games, which I’ve been ignoring for quite some time).

    1. Er… Best 3 out of 7?

      Don’t make me chose between my T and A. And Elly.

      Terra is perfectly hot.
      Anise is chaotically hot.
      Elly is well roundedly hot.

  10. Found this comic on stumbleupon.

    To Depo, they’re all hot in their own ways. I think cause they remind me of real girls I’ve known. I gotta say Anise’s hot in that freaky girl kinda way. Tarra is like that intimidating hot, where you’d never ask her out in a million years. And yeah, Ellie’s a hot handful. *cough*

    But Juni is cute in that, just woke up bedhead kind of way. Cinnamon’s probably cute to mess with, and Pumpkin is that kid sister cute. And Ginger is like, of milf status?

      1. Well, it is now. Before, it was totally “in there”, but we have moved into the parking lot. And all because SOMEONE had to breed the Omega-Omega-Pestilence, and released it for maximum body count, while disguised as another sister. Again. And, once confronted, she will intone “Elly did it.” Again.

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