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Second Hand News

I threw Pumpkin in this strip since, at the time, she was winning the "Sister Campaign" in the right sidebar.

165 thoughts on “Second Hand News

      1. For some reason I read Quinn as Ellie….anyway, my blunder aside; Quinn and Blind Guy do have the same hair color. I don’t know if that is significant, but I just noticed that.

    1. I’ll add that to this list I’m maintaining of top ten things that would prompt Quinn to murder Ellie.

      And that officially knocks “inviting Quinn to a social event that is catered with bagels but somebody forgot the schmear” off the list.

        1. Strange you ask that, as “Ellie loses Quinn’s only copy of ‘Miss Congeniality’ right before Quinn intends to host her semiannual Sandra Bullock movie marathon and so they’re forced to watch Speed 2 in its place” is reason number 7.

          I don’t know how I made this list.

  1. Bwahaha, Ellie is not being shy. I bet he told her his name under her word balloon and she missed it…

    And not to nitpick but I think you meant to spell “issues” in panel five.

    1. No… thank you. I changed it to “problems” since ‘issues’ was just said two panels earlier. The problem with trying to do dialogue on no sleep.

      And I didn’t forget about your fanart. I can post it next strip if you like. =)

      1. Speaking of dialog I love how Tired Guy vocalized *Tired Guy looks away*

        And that would be awesome, glad you liked it.

      1. Logo? Oh. Oh! Ellie’s superman tee.

        I think we just flew past each other. What I meant is what if Blind Guy is already in a relationship? Wouldn’t that be awkward for Ellie after her bold invitation?

        A joke is awful if it has to be explained. Hence my awful batman joke. You know, ‘blind as a bat’, Blind Guy = batman.

  2. 1. There’s a Tinkerbell doll on Pumpkin’s couch looking thing. So many theories were born from it’s ‘appearance.’

    2. It’s nice to see the girls in some different clothes. It almost felt like watching Power Rangers.

    3. I like the idea that Ellie is not shy in any capacity that is socially acceptable. It’ll give blind guy something to wonder about.

    4. Ellie remembered Ian from High School, so I’m sure blind guy could introduce himself any moment. Please name him.

    5. Awesome story so far! Posting this on my birthday, directly after work!

    1. 1) Tell me. I might like one.

      2) Thanks. Never liked the show.

      3) Agreed. Remember what Ellie said about her and her sisters involving dating.

      4) He has a name. In due time.

      5) Also Happy Birthday.

    2. As enough of the day is gone that it would be futile at this point to wish you a happy birthday, I instead wish you just a happy generic day tomorrow.

    3. 0) Happy Birthday

      1) It’s called a day bed. 1/2 of the day a sofa, 1/2 of the day a bed.

      2) Meh, using kids in tv shows where they actually change the outfits. Too overdone. Just give the kids seven suits of the same outfit.

      3) I’d poke my eyes out, but I have no idea what blind guy does for a living, and I don’t think that I have that degree to follow in his so called footsteps… And my hearing sucks. DO NOT listen to loud music on headphones, earphones, telephones, radios, cars. Because if you poke your eyes out, then you may not hear the hot blonde girl ask if you want to go out and do something.

      4) wait for it… waaaiiiiiit phhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhoooooooouuuuuuuurrrr eeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit….

      5) See line 0)

      1. 1. It’s called a day bed.

        It’s spends half of the day as the worst looking sofa ever imaginable. Six beggars could be stapled together and turned into a living sofa and that would be better sofa than a day bed.

        The other half of the day, it is bed that is designed solely to slowly murder your body in subtle torture.

        I call it Snuggles!

  3. I know it’s about as deep as a puddle, but I like the dress Quinn is rocking in the second half. Working the cleavage a little perhaps with some advice from Ellie?

        1. It’s not that so much as Quinn is antisocial and wouldn’t normally dress to draw that kind of attention.

        2. Isn’t there a difference between dressing to draw attention, dressing to be oneself, and dressing to impress the person your with?

  4. If enough time has passed and BG has been talking with her like this frequently, I guess eventually she’d HAVE to go for the direct approach…

        1. Which would also explain the short hair: It’s easier to put under a wig and makes it much less likely to have stray strands ruining the image.
          Of course, if she likes wearing wigs for any other reason, this also applies…

          My guess is the wigs are for after annoying a sister. (My hair is ruined! Oh, well, which wig today?)

        2. While “wigs are for after annoying a sister” is much more likely, I think it’s much more fun to assume the first wig precisely matches the President of the United States in this comic’s world and Pumpkin is planning to try to social engineer nuclear launch codes.

          I’m not saying I think that’s likely, but it’s much more fun to guess in that direction than something plausible.

        3. Is it possible she has Dis-associative Identity Disorder? Sometimes folks with D.I.D. use wigs/styles of dress to show when different personalities come out.

        4. I’d like seeing “Evil Pumpkin” though I don’t know if the wigs can be involved then, as “Evil Pumpkin” might be likely to swap all the wigs for Pumpkin’s normal hairdo so no one can tell which personality she’s currently manifesting.

    1. Don’t girls/women/females use different wigs at different times to display different emotions/feelings/moods and/or sentiments to instill in a situation/scenario/date?

    1. Wasn’t the brother younger than her? This fellows seems a bit older, or maybe he’s just a bit more put together. It would be an interseting plot twist though!

      1. He is, as far as I know. Another thought I had, based on Tired Guy’s reaction to the girls in this panel: Maybe he’s giving Quinn such a hard time for the attention? If his family isn’t visiting him regularly, perhaps he’s lonely and lashing out for some kind of emotional response.

      1. Are they two characters that we have met already (not through flashbacks, I mean – assuming the whole comic thus far hasn’t been one long flashback but ooh what a twist that would be)?

        1. Related to Barrel perhaps. Which could be one reason that he’d be there after school lets out, to get a ride back home/check up on his sibling.

      2. …well, KK should know who he is… and a familial relationship with her WOULD make things comically awkward. I’ll vote Older Brother, because Husband would be a little too tacky.

        1. Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

          Wrong answer. (sorry if too harsh) But we already have seen that KK asked Ellie about Blind Guy’s name and stated that he was kind of cute.

          Thanks for playing though, Chris, please tell jee what prizes await. . .

        2. I agree with you, but…

          Just cause one girl says to another girl, “He’s kinda cute, what’s his name?” does *not* mean the first girl doesn’t know the guy. She COULD be trying to hook up the guy. Like my sisters used to do for me.

          Frankly, we know it’s not Husband – Chris spends too much time on details to forget a ring. The “cute guy” part on KK’s end means it’s not fiancee or boyfriend (at that time). I’m guessing a sister’s acquaintance or a relation to a secondary character (Ian, Barrel, etc.).

      3. Two other characters is too few to be related to Ellie. Could be Ian and James to be random (as neither are on the cast page yet). My guess is still a tangential connection through Ellie’s family in some way (sister’s friend, lived near relative they visited in summer, or maybe relative to one of her sister’s significant others).

  5. Wow, Ellie holds nothing back. Also, I’m liking the new Quinn. In both look and attitude. She is still maintaining who she is, but is also changing to a better person, albeit slowly.

        1. I have to agree with Pat actually, but I’m glad she’s not losing all her snark, it’s part of the story. It’s also a great comic relief.

      1. I assume the his objection wasn’t to the lack of a definition – but I’m too afraid of what I might find to check it myself.

  6. I feel required to point out the Cactuar sitting on her bookshelf. While it is not a huge reveal that she plays video games; it does lend a small angle to her interests as a person. JRPGs are very story driven, and Final Fantasy is no different. I would venture a guess to say that Pumpkin is also into anime to some small extent. Now that I think about it…. an anime Disney princess sounds interesting.

    1. There’s also the fact that a lot of the males in Final Fantasy are constantly mocked for appearing like women, even by the big time fans. So there’s also THAT to fuel the discussion flames of Pumpkin’s orientation!

      Or…. She could just live video games. One or the other! :)

      1. Nick, agreed that would be interesting (not sure I think it’s likely). Ellie trying to determine if Pumpkin is a lesbian where Pumpkin’s actually trans would be a very nice plot twist, with additional misdirection possible from her feeling herself a man having romantic interest in women giving a lot of room for confusion for someone not considering that possibility.

        Also cargen, good eye. I missed that with several times going back to the comic to look at a detail or other mentioned by someone else and didn’t spot the cactaur, no matter how often they’ve irritated me in FF games.

  7. Aw man and here i was hoping to find a Hamtaro plush in Pumpkins room I mean heck you gave patchy dude a tattoo of him in Anise’s shop, oh well at least she has a cactuar.

    1. Patchy dude was a wuss. He should have gotten a Tribal Hamtaro tattoo with thunderbolts and lightning flashing from it’s eyes and blood dripping. . . wait, that would have cost more than that guy could afford. He’s cheap too.

  8. Quinn’s new look is rocking. I would definitely not want to mess her with. hahaha

    Also, I agree with all the theories of Pumpkin’s cosplaying. Pumpkin is adorable! haha
    Also, good on Ellie for getting to the point with Blind Guy, we all knew it was about time. hahaha

    1. A couple years back, I read a news story where a man was suffocated during a lap dance at his bachelor party. Imagine being the best man and having to explain THAT to the bride-no-longer-to-be.

        1. The most disturbing story I saw in the Weekly World News was about a banjo killer (a guy killed his wife, I think). It was disturbing because I’d heard it on the real news a few weeks before as it happened ~30 min from where I grew up.

          Seeing something in the Weekly World News that I actually knew to be true was a profoundly disturbing experience for me. So I generally blocked it from my mind while laughing at later issues.

        2. I used to love the WWN. The covers were always good for a laugh. My favorite was about the dog who drove his owner to the hospital because they were having a heart attack.

        3. Was grade school for me and I didn’t pay a lot of attention. The banjo was used in the murder. Probably bludgeon, but maybe wrapped around neck and strangled with strings or something. I didn’t pay attention at the time and Google didn’t show any useful results on the first page.

  9. I love it! It’s perfect!

    Ellie is attracted to Blind Guy because he doesn’t treat her any differently for having huge breasts; she isn’t an “untouchable” for him. And maybe Blind Guy is actually attracted to Ellie’s innocence and obliviousness. From the moment they met, she didn’t see him as the poor “Blind Guy.” She saw him as a regular customer walking into the restaurant with a dog. She didn’t give him any false sympathy because of his disability. Hell, she wasn’t even afraid to eat his lunch.

    Maybe Blind Guy is drawn to Ellie because he likes being treated like another regular jerk. It’s humanizing.

  10. I hope the Pumpkin thing goes something like: “My short hair is because it’s easier to dress up and my style is just my style! I like dressing this way in a house full of sluts.” Ellie: “So you’re not gay?” Pumpkin: “I never said that.”

        1. To be fair, she was drunk and thought breaking the knob to turning it to her newly etched-in eleven would make the music louder. I’d say she thought better of it once she sobered up, but based on the cast page and her appearances, I suspect she hasn’t reached sobriety yet.

        2. I’ve heard that the best cure for a hangover is to never sober up. Apparently Juniper is taking that concept and running with it?

        3. I don’t think anyone has ever taken that as serious lifestyle advice. At least I certainly hope not.

        4. Old friend I had growing up. So often drunk he would occasionally get sober and seemed drunk then.

          Ended up quitting last I heard. Unfortunately, that led to other… “hobbies.” Oddly enough though, for the most part he had a decent bill of health; he got f’d up more from the stupid things he’d do high or drunk, or the things he’d get himself into.

          But yeah, odds are perpetual drunkenness (or any abnormal state) will lead to screwing up your health in the long haul.

        5. It’s not really advice so much as it is an attempt to maintain normality after being drunk for so long. Just being able to get going in the morning would require a bigger boost than just orange juice and toast.

          I’m not trying to talk ill of the dead, but my nephews had problems. And they did not get out of their own heads to seek help. I tried to counsel my nephew to get cheap help, SSI, help from the church where his ex-gf and mother of his child went/goes (I don’t know.)

          Don’t trust self medication. Period. I mean a drink or two for fun and games should only be just that. But there is a huge difference between having a drink, wanting a drink and needing a drink.

        6. So now that my attempt at humor has gone painfully askew I will just back awkwardly away and ask “not in the face?”

        7. Not a problem. Just hopefully an educational moment. Public Service Announcement via internet webcomic thread for that one person who sees it.

  11. Temporally, this comic has been confusing lately. I’ve found myself stopping frequently in the middle of reading to gauge where in time we are, which scenes are flashbacks, and which scenes are narration. Once I’ve read the day’s strip, I go back and read it again and it’s layout all makes sense, but it throws me off a bit.

    I love this comic, though. Checking it is the first thing I do when I wake up three times a day.

  12. So, Blind Guy, you gonna ask her to do something with you or what? Because I get the feeling she’s interested in you. I mean, if blatantly telling you that she has killer boobs wasn’t bait enough…

    Also, I wish I could speak in self-describing stage directions like Tired Guy. I mean, I’ve always been able to do it on the internet. *boog demonstrates* But if I could do so properly in real life, I would probably annoy and lose what few friends I have left.

    Also, “at his earliest convenience”… not sure how often it is convenient for Tired Guy to venture away from his domicile, so unless he plans to call it in (which might also be too much effort for such a guy who is so very tired), it looks like Quinn and Ellie might have a lengthy extension. Also, if they can get along for long enough (and get the security deposit paid for the cat), it might be hard for Tired Guy to really prove that Quinn is the domestic disturbance he insists she is.

    Also, hey Pumpkin, what’s with the wigs?

    1. I find a slight head turn, breaking whatever facial expression fits for conversation to go deadpan and make an announcement just before resuming previous facial expression and then doing the announced action works reasonably well.

        1. I walked up to him, I smashed him like this, I hit him, I bopped him, I tore him to pieces, and then I knocked him down!

        2. Now what do we have here?
          An Outlaw and his beer?
          I run this land, you undertand
          I made myself clear. =D

          From the Three Stooges to the Beastie Boys, we are a hella cultured group.

    2. That’s why you have to get a radio show and then start a web comic about that radio show. That way, you can talk about yourself normally in real life, except when you’re on the air and talking about the web comic.

      Wait, wouldn’t that be fourth person with on air about a web comic?

      1. I actually used to have my own radio show, when I was 10. Technically it was just a pretend radio show; I would use the tape recorder to record various things such as myself talking, music from video games, the television, and (coincidentally) the radio. People could listen (or “tune in” as we used to call it in the biz) by pressing rewind, waiting for a few minutes, then pressing play.

        Eventually I had to close up shop due to poor ratings – my dwindling audience consisted only of my brother, our dog, and sometimes (reluctantly) my parents. My sister rarely tuned in – she said there were too many advertisements and the talk shows were too political.

        1. I kept calling the local radio stations saying crazy stuff until one of them put me on the air. Little did I know I was to be working with a future Scooby Doo at the time. I still have that tape of my performance as the local High School Superintendent.

          I wonder if I could get away with it again, he’s more popular down in NOLA.

  13. So, since the story right now is takes place a bit later than the fight comic, And this is the actual present, how much have we seen is a flashback and how much was concurrent stuff?

  14. firt post but i HAD to say it!

    my guess is that blind guy is her landlord, making him known by quinn and tired guy. amidoingitrite?

        1. Owner of “O’Jacks” neat idea but I don’t think so.
          a few strips ago KK asked Ellie “Who the blind Guy was” I would guess that KK would know who the owner of her franchise would be.

      1. No the land lord showed up to Quinn’s apartment dressed up like an exterminator. That was wonderfully goofy scene, seeing all those guys go head over heels because of Ellie’s…um… eyes. We’ll go with eyes.

        1. There is a difference between landlord and property owner. Who knows, maybe he does own the property, and may just be telling the leasing office to lay off of these two. That’d piss tired guy off to no avail. Maybe he’d buy a broom just to knock on the ceiling whenever now.

  15. Seriously? After ALL that, she’s going back to being a stereotypical blonde and **** some dude he thinks is cute? Or is she expecting him to be an asshole like Alex?
    If it’s not the latter, then my wrathful hate shall rise again…

    1. I would say that…just because she’s being forward because she’s interested doesn’t necessarily mean that she is being bitchy.

      1. I agree, we don’t know how long this has been going on (her talking with Blind Guy at work) and it may well have reached a point where she just wants to know what the level of mutual interest (or non interest) may be. I would only say she’s being shallow or bitchy if he isn’t interested and she stops being friends with him entirely because that’s a dick move regardless of what gender you are.

      1. If I didn’t have a vague understanding of how building a comic buffer works I would almost think you jumped ahead to these strips just to smack down teh “OMG, ELLIE IS PROBABLY GAY!” thing that got stirred up. Wait a minute… you don’t work with a buffer do you?

        Damn it… I can’t insert a trollface… imagine one real hard because this is where it would be :P

        I keed… I keed…

    2. If she’s pouring all this info out to him, she apparently likes talking to him. Maybe romantic interest, or maybe just enjoys as a shoulder to lean on that won’t stare down her neckline (and that she doesn’t feel guilty assuming he’s offering support in return for something she’s not going to give or vulnerable that she might be giving him ammo to use to get in her pants later). Her phrasing could go in a romantic direction, but could also stay perfectly platonic and still be appropriate.

      I’m seeing Ellie wanting to spend time with a man who treats her respectfully, listens to her, and whose opinion she values. She might want to turn that in a romantic direction, but she also might not.

        1. But if it’s ****, that’s problematic as I think this takes place in Florida, so Alabama’s the closest place they could drive for that to be even remotely legal. So let’s hope it’s just ****.

        2. Good point, I hadn’t even considered that it could be **** but Florida has it’s own news tag on Fark for a reason.

        3. The Mann Act would prevent that. And I think that may include willing participants even on the parts of both parties, because they would be crossing state lines to get out of a jurisdictional tort.

    3. yikes. Sounds like you’re doing the stereotyping yourself if you automatically assume her statement was just for a quick “****” because she’s blonde. Don’t project your prejudices on other people!

    4. So it sounds like what you’re saying is that you’d be okay with Ellie being “**** some dude he thinks is cute” is only she had a different hair color?

      1. Pumpkin is a Grrrl Gamer and Cosplayer, requirements for such a position is to be a hot girl nerd without the stereotypical nerd accoutrements.

        1. DAMN. Sorry, hit post before I was finished.

          And were hawt, sexy, but didn’t use clearsil on a daily basis, and smart. And could hide in a crowd of nerds at comic con, and knew how to evade same.

  16. I might be cheating, but I went to the cast page and tried to read the covered text, on the start of the second line, it looks like it might say Big Brother….so, My guess is that this is Ellie’s cool Big Brother.

    1. I could see the redacted part as having “cool Big Brother” in the text, but can’t be Ellie’s actual family as she doesn’t recognize him. Might be something about women seeing him as the “cool Big Brother” or him being another character’s “cool Big Brother”. I don’t remember if Quinn ever stated having only one sibling or not, but if he’s an introduced character’s older brother James, Richard, or Ian seem most likely to be the younger sibling (and with Ian & James going to the same high school, would be likely both would know each other’s siblings, where Ellie might not).

      1. This is the Second time this Thread I have switched Ellie and Quinn’s name…..college life infects me with the tired. This causes me to be foolish. I meant Quinn’s older brother. …I need sleep. . .

        1. To be, or not to be, that is the question:

          Whether ’tis Nobler in the mind to suffer

          The Slings and Arrows of outrageous Fortune,

          Or to take Arms against a Sea of troubles,

          And by opposing end them: to die, to sleep

          No more; and by a sleep, to say we end

          The Heart-ache, and the thousand Natural shocks

          That Flesh is heir to? ‘Tis a consummation

          Devoutly to be wished. To die, to sleep,

          To sleep, perchance to Dream; Aye, there’s the rub,

          For in that sleep of death, what dreams may come,

          When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,

          Must give us pause. There’s the respect

          That makes Calamity of so long life:

          For who would bear the Whips and Scorns of time,

          The Oppressor’s wrong, the proud man’s Contumely,

          The pangs of despised Love, the Law’s delay,

          The insolence of Office, and the Spurns

          That patient merit of the unworthy takes,

          When he himself might his Quietus make

          With a bare Bodkin? Who would Fardels bear,

          To grunt and sweat under a weary life,

          But that the dread of something after death,

          The undiscovered Country, from whose bourn

          No Traveller returns, Puzzles the will,

          And makes us rather bear those ills we have,

          Than fly to others that we know not of.

          Thus Conscience does make Cowards of us all,

          And thus the Native hue of Resolution

          Is sicklied o’er, with the pale cast of Thought,

          And enterprises of great pitch and moment,

          With this regard their Currents turn awry,

          And lose the name of Action. Soft you now,

          The fair Ophelia? Nymph, in thy Orisons

          Be all my sins remembered.[2]

          Hamlet, by William Shakespeare. Act III, Scene I.

  17. I’ve seen this step be necessary before, so E brooks no argument from me.
    That said, it’s verrrrrry strange that both blind and tired guy go unnamed.

    Or I could be paranoid.

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