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Sockdolager

Next comic will be up ASAP. Still have several hours of coloring left (at 10:00 est.)

145 thoughts on “Sockdolager

  1. “Not you, you shrew!”
    Haha that was great, poor Quinn though, getting a face full of tired man’s hand.

    Oh uhhh in… Second???

        1. Well, it’s alright, even when push comes to shove.
          Well, it’s alright, as long as you’ve got someone to love.

          I had to take a bit. I still miss Roy.

        2. or just think about it like this, on you license its last name first… its “Wilbury Dick”

    1. There goes my theory, unless his name is Dick David Wilbury and he either does or did go by his middle name, like S. Quinn Nicks.

  2. Heh, “The one with Personality,” beats “The Lazy One.”

    So what is Tired Guy up to? Why would he need a whole section of building. He’s a supervillian building his lair isn’t he?

      1. Sitcom in the early eighties, “Too Close for Comfort” was the earliest I recall. Sarah claims, “When it comes to personality, I’m a ten!” Jackie replies, “When it comes to personality, you’re a 36C.”

    1. I really do think “The one with Personality” fits both the assets and the fact that frankly, she’s adorably goofy.
      Caleb saw her for half a day, and he’s clearly smitten.

      I say the title fits.

    1. Yep, definitely out of left field so far. I’m wondering what breadcrumbs might be lingering about this business.

      But also paranoia as to what else Danny might’ve possibly done to but that apartment is a great motivator to get them to move within the complex. Also not something that can really come back and bite them. If he wants to taunt them all he has to do is tape a picture of a microphone and question mark on his door that they’ll have to walk by every day.

      1. Well not really. If he tries to get them evicted that his subleasing business will get tanked for officials looking more closely into him. He must have researched these two more after reviewing all the video and audio to figure out that treating them poorly is a bad idea. He needs them to leave that apartment for reasons known to him but he’s fine with them living in another apartment in the same complex and is willing to help them move. He has 2 or more motives in all this.

  3. eSymmetry sounds suspiciously like eHarmony. Dick “Tired Guy” Wilbury’s offering Ellie employment at a dating site?

      1. Oh, of course not, I do apologize. I did not mean to imply you would parody eHarmony. After all, you have assiduously avoided parodying major discount store chains, fast food chains, Christmas shopping, Girl Scouts of America and the customs service, among other things. I am sure your portrayal of Mr. Wilbury’s site will be entirely realistic with no parody at all.

      2. Hmmm…

        Name of service a take on eHarmony, but owner is grumpy old man who probably couldn’t act friendly for 30 seconds for a commercial if his life depended on it. Harmony also implies things going well. Symmetry is just a factor generally attributed to correlate with our view of physical attractiveness. Some amount of talking about Danny’s “cons” may have also come up on camera between Ellie & Quinn.

        From the left turn this comic took, I’m guessing that Tired Guy’s service is a non-prostitute-type of escort service. As in people hire a date for a public event of some form. Ellie’s attractive, friendly, and outgoing. He may or may not also realize that she’s ok with making lazy money based on her looks as long as it’s not taken too far (or he may just assume).

  4. The first look at his card and all I saw was “Dick Will Bury (through Asymmetry, since it goes through the symbol) Your Heart”…hahaha

  5. “Judging by it’s quick deletion” should be “Judging by its quick deletion.” Its is possessive, it’s is a contraction of it and is or it and has.

    “… If your free from Mr. Fleetwood’s voyeurism.” should be “If you’re free from Mr. Fleetwood’s voyeurism.” Again, your is possessive and you’re is a contraction of you are or you were.

    Sorry to make a post like this, but it kind of ruins the immersion to see basic grammar mistakes like that multiple times in one page even if it is a very large page. If you’re ever having issues deciding whether to use the possessive or contraction, break up the contraction into “It is” or “You are” and see if it makes sense in the context of the sentence.

    1. I do know how to grammar. :P
      I’m on hour 16 straight of coloring, so the spelling/grammar usually suffers in my final read-throughs.. Usually my brain is toast, and my eyes are so foggy I can’t read half my own words.

      Fixed now.
      COMMENCE IMMERSION!! :D

      1. There’s also that one rarely manages to catch all own mistakes on a read through. Especially not if it’s only shortly after writing the text. And you don’t exactly have the leisure time to write, say, a month or more in advance.

        1. Even a month or two later it can be hard. When you know what it’s supposed to say your brain frequently helps you with the shortcut of not bothering with all the fine details. Brains are helpful that way (on purpose, too).

        2. In my news writing classes, one of the techniques that the professor gave us was to read our text from the ending towards the beginning. In reading our text in that manner, we would be reading it anew, and therefore more apt to catch any mistakes that have been made.

  6. So… He runs a scam dating site and is going to pay her to talk to desperate, lonely people in order to make sure they continue paying subscription fees?
    sounds like something out of a book I read once.

    1. I read it a few years ago, I think it was called evil genius or something like that? main character was the illegitimate son of some kind of super-villain and he set up a site like that as an untraceable source of income.

    1. Alright, even Urban Dictionary has no record of this “p=d” business, and Googling doesn’t seem to help. What’s the dealio?

      1. Only thing I can think of is that it’s an example of rotational symmetry. Or maybe it’s a bowdlerized version of pwned. ^_^

        But what The Lurker may be referring to, I have no clue. And I’m not completely unfamiliar with the works of Isaac As-A-Shade-Of-Purple-Gray.

        Pardon, my auto-translator seems to need to be adjusted…

        1. Sorry to be obtuse, blame it on poor reading and slow slow data connection. I misread anonanons grammar comment as not immersion, but Emerson, who was once quoted by Doctor Asimov as saying ” a foolish consistency (when writing) is the hobgoblin of a great mind…”, mainly to explain an inconsistency in spelling in one of Doctor Asimov’s stories…. And this p=d is the old school emotioncon for fist bump, found here:http://pc.net/emoticons/smiley/fist_bump
          Kinda like when Ian met Pumpkin, pointless respect? OK humor that has to be explained isn’t funny, so back to lurking for me
          And as always Chris, great story, wonderful art.

      2. Sorry, work has kept me away and unable to Lurk or respond to comments. This one is too obtuse, blame it on poor reading and slow slow data connection. I misread anonanons grammar comment as not immersion, but Emerson, who was once quoted by Doctor Asimov as saying ” a foolish consistency (when writing) is the hobgoblin of a great mind…”, mainly to explain an inconsistency in spelling in one of Doctor Asimov’s stories…. And this p=d is the old school emotioncon for fist bump, found here:http://pc.net/emoticons/smiley/fist_bump
        Kinda like when Ian met Pumpkin, pointless respect? OK humor that has to be explained isn’t funny, so back to lurking for me
        And as always Chris, great story, wonderful art.

  7. “Personality” Heh, that’s what my GF refers to her… “Huuuuuge tracts of… land” as. :D

    Also, swapping apartments does seem like the best way to be certain they’re free of any electronic bugs. I’m impressed with Tired Guy’s diplomatic preparations here.

  8. Dammit, am I going to have to begrudgingly start liking “Tired Guy” to a small degree?

    “Not you, you shrew. I want the one with personality.” I nearly nose-sprayed coffee.

      1. Well, she just called him a moron while jumping to conclusions.
        I’d be inclined to reply with personal insults in that situation too.

        1. No, I was serious.

          He is being very fair with his assessment that the girls were unaware of the website, he is being realistic that they should move but have to stay in the same complex, and he is even willing to provide moving assistance.

          Considering he owes them nothing I’d say he’s making an offer they can’t refuse…

        2. Well, he doesn’t know about the NDA, so he probably also needs to talk to the leasing office with Quinn and offer his desire to get her apartment as the reason she wants to move within the complex. Not that I think that’s an issue for him and he’d probably be happy to do that if it got him her apartment (whyever he wants it).

  9. Personality…..riiiiiiiight. XD

    Also I can see Quinn later washing her face till she’s damn near bleached going, “It won’t come off!!”

    1. But she won’t be doing the scrubbing in her old apartment because the phrase ‘it won’t come off’ combined with the sound of desperate, furious scrubbing could be titilating for ol’ Danny boy.

  10. It’s not just the snark, the resting bitch face is more than enough to draw the shrew comments.
    Quinn has that in spades.
    And as for eHarmony, that @#$#%$% thing has had it coming for years…

  11. Wait, I am a little lost. He….doesn’t mind if they stay in the apartment complex, just wants them out of their current one? Why? For his, granddaughter/niece?

    1. He wants a monopoly on that particular building for some reason, it seems. Why, we don’t quite know, but the girls are the last holdout.

  12. Sooo… I have a feeling that my guess that he wants to turn all the apartments into one big apartment/office building or something is right.

    1. Once he secures Quinn (and Ellie)’s apartment he will have control of all the units that abut his; wonder if that is important…

  13. It’s rather disturbing that he would put his hands on Quinn like that. That’s assault. I wouldn’t blame her for reaching over and detaching his oxygen hose.

    1. Reasonable proof of fear is required for assault. Besides that, considering that cutting Tired Willbury’s oxygen tube could be argued as attempted murder and he has conclusive evidence she committed battery, I don’t think Quinn’s going to risk the counter-suits.

      1. Well, yes, it would be at least attempted murder, but that’s a mere quibble. You’re wrong about assault, however. And I should have said battery, not assault. The tort of battery consists simply of touching the plaintiff without her consent. Malice need not be proven, nor any apprehension of injury by the plaintiff. A harmless touching, even if done without consent, would be de minimis, but would still be a tort.

        Anyway, perhaps she shouldn’t cut his hose. Just pinch it shut for a couple of minutes to let him know he can’t go sticking his hand in Quinn’s face without immediate consequences. Think about Joe Pantaleone’s fate in “Bound”.

        1. No, one of the legal requirements for assault is fear, specifically fear of physical harm or offensive touching. At least in the USA; I will admit I don’t know where you’re typing from.

        1. True, provided the right context and an argument of fear… but it comes back to whether or not Quinn is willing to risk the much higher-stakes counter-suits.

  14. Interesting that he dressed up to talk to them. Nice sharp turn to the left here.

    Rusche – Overall I’m glad to see it in this sized batch, though I’d bet our theories would’ve entertained you more for how far off they were had it been split up. We could’ve seen the “convincing them to move” after the first half, but offering Ellie another job wouldn’t have been an easy guess.

    1. M-M-M-M-M-M-MEGA POST!

      Personally, I think it could have been easily split into two posts. Quinn’s “Dammit.” is a perfect end-of-comic punchline without seeming contrived to the timing.

      1. It absolutely could’ve been split in half and still worked fine. I’m just saying that I like seeing both at once, but I think the theories of what was about to happen if it had been would’ve been amusing for Rusche.

        1. I was agreeing with you on the technical part; now I’m agreeing with you on the speculation. I still like the idea of him blackmailing them for lungs.
          Side note: our current avatars look very conversational.

        2. Yes, very sisterly argumentative, and I agree that blackmail for lungs is an amusing idea.

    1. The site appeared to have audio. He may have been using some separate audio equipment instead of camera’s built in microphones. I’d say video is as-or-more likely than just audio for the Alex beating.

  15. Well worth the wait, Chris. You have done amazing work as always.

    If I’m not mistaken, 217 is Tired Guy’s primary residence (as Quin and Ellie live in 317). The units Tired Guy has leased surround his. At first it looked like he might have wanted to control the property to keep noise down and the unit above his (the one he would hear the most from) was the hold out. Now I suspect he’s operating eSymmetry out of the apartments. Commercial office space leases for about $30/sf per year while residential space rents for about half of that. Maybe he was looking for cheaper commercial space and doesn’t need an office address because he operates exclusively online.

  16. Who’s willing to bet that the electronic receipts for audio equipment he ‘found’ are HIS, not Danny’s.

    1. I have done audio for a church. Let me say, you want lots of microphones, or everything sounds like you recorded it in a bathroom with the fan on.
      Echoey with wind noise may be fine for Gregorian chant. Maybe.
      Not lots of microphones all on at once, but so you can use the best positioned one to catch what’s being said or sung.

    2. Could be his receipts (hell, they could be his grocery receipts), but it’s still a valid point to the girls that they can’t be certain of what all Danny boy might’ve planted in their apartment, and things like if he made a duplicate key and might decide to visit them or send friends to visit them at a later date, for that matter.

      Tired Guy is arguing something that really is a good idea for them, too, at this point. Which is the best way to argue in order to get something you want, when you can manage it.

    3. I’m pretty sure they’re Danny’s, actually.

      Remember the “SHUT UP, THEY’RE FIGHTING!” from one of the spectators? Wouldn’t really make sense if they didn’t have audio.

  17. HE’S TRYING TO HELP, GUYS. HE’S NOT THAT MEAN. JEEZ. I wish MY next door neighbors would just walk up to the door, be completely understanding about my problems, and randomly offer me a job.

    1. Knock knock
      Hi, I’ll give you $20 for each and every crabgnome carcass you kill and bring to me from our neighborhood. You see, I’m a nuclear paranormal scientist and I need them for my unlicensed atomic pizza accelerators that I use in my delivery business. Then you can deliver my orders for 8.95 an hour.

  18. How is it that every music reference you make is of bands I love? It’s like you’re reading my mind. (Or scanning my music catalog.) Also, Dick’s comment to Quinn at the end…priceless! Love it!

      1. ELO…Livin’ Thing, Shine a Little Love, Evil Woman, Turn to Stone, Sweet Talkin’ Woman, Don’t Bring Me Down…and on and on and on. I suspect we shall be meeting a Lynn somewhere along the way (or a Jeff).

        1. You could argue that Caleb’s phone conversations already unveiled Evil Woman vs Sweet Talkin’ Woman.

  19. lol how much u bet that it’ll involve either security or investigations cause that seems to be his speciality lol “NOT YOU YOU SHREW THE ONE WITH PERSONALITY!” well in a way she does have more personality these two are starting to turn out like “two and a half men” ones book smart with a little street smarts and the other one is charlie harper except she doesn’t have sex over and over with guys half her age lol

    1. You do find a lot more people in their forties & fifties having sex with people half-their age than people in their late teens or early twenties.

      And if that’s not a true statement, I want to keep believing it’s true.

      1. I want to be in that statistical group of old person with young one but my wife won’t let me. :-( Then again, I like older women, I don’t have to teach them anything. :-)

      2. well look at ben franklin he was a dam sexual deviant and he preferred to have sex with older women because they were more “experienced”lol he spent the entire Revolutionary War in France: negotiating by day and by night….well i doubt i have to tell u lol

        1. By definition, if people in their 40’s & 50’s are having sex with people half their age, then there are also just as many people in the early twenties range who are having sex with people half their age.

          My “hoping it’s extremely rare” was actually the factor of two regarding the other age outlier.

        2. s/early twenties range who are having sex with people half their age./early twenties range who are having sex with people twice their age./

          Getting my factors of two backwards…

    1. you have to admit he covered all his bases and the worse part is the old guys right theres no guarantee they would of found all that equipment

      1. Yep. Convincing them to move from this kind of worry is going to be much easier than convincing the landlord to evict someone who’s paid out over a year in advance (and have to return the balance of that money).

  20. After looking at the previous page I realize once Dick secures Quinn (and Ellie)’s apartment he will have control of all the units that abut his…

  21. I feel bad for Quinn, always losing out to Ellie’s…. “personalities”.

    Er, personality. Singular. Right. of course!

    1. Boobs aside, Quinn does tend to be abrasive MUCH more often than Ellie, so it’d be a fair comment if you only got to see neck-up or saw nothing and just had audio conversation with them.

      I’ve thought Quinn has a nicer face than Ellie through the whole comic, it’s just that she’s scowling so damned much you don’t notice.

    1. Holy Acorns, Batman! I didn’t think squirrels got that spherical, even right before hibernating.

      But if you found this picture, and your cat resembles Ellie’s in its spherical proportions, there can be only one conclusion. We’ve found Real Life Ellie!!! Or at least the animal feeding part of her.

  22. I really love the way this old guy talks, Rusche. Given that he seems to be the antagonist of this chapter, I’m looking forward to him really getting going with the monologuing.

      1. Spif-fli-cate – treat roughly or severely; destroy.

        Also loving “gussed up” and “lingering animus!”

        Rusche, this is such a great job of character development – reveals old guy was/is pretty educated, as well as just how far of a bygone era he is from.

  23. Heh! ‘Sockdolager. “… you sockdologizing old man-trap.” Is part of a line from a play named ‘Our American Cousin’. Those are some of the last words Abe Lincoln was laughing at before John Wilkes Booth shot him in the head in the balcony of Fords Theater the night of April 14, 1865.

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