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Tall, Dark, and Shadowbanned

Sincerely apologize for how late this is. Really chaotic two weeks since the last huge post. I had to split this one just because of background work being so intense. I'll have the rest up on Tuesday. I don't picture that one being late since it's 65% finished. So, in short, we finished remodeling the kids rooms. Looks great. Ordered them all new furniture from Rooms To Go (free plug.) Furniture looks awesome, and they assembled it right in their rooms. Minor complaints were being up until 4am trying to get paint done and we had to touch it up when they left. Giant shoe scuffs. And they left a monster gouge in our hardwood floor, which we were able to patch up, luckily. It all worked out.   Kids were at their moms when this was done. Took an entire day just to lug all their crap to the living room. You never realize the shear amount of utter junk your kids have until you have to handle every single piece of it, multiple times. Got to the point I didn't have table or sofa space so I was just throwing it in trash bags by the front door. Had to take all their old bed sets out to the garage for some future yard sale. Then we tore down their ceilings, which took 2-3 days. Cleaning the plaster off the hardwood and out of the cracks took another. Painting and hole patching took 3 days. Had to get new blinds since they tore off the strings and wands as toddlers. We had so much rain and wind the last few weeks three of our neighbors trees fell over in our front yard. And this guy is in his 90's so he isn't doing much about it. This came from his 'side forest.' Essentially an extra lot he owns between himself and us that's nothing but overgrowth. He somehow manages the strength to be crotchety and put no trespassing signs in these woods, pointed at our house.. but actually maintaining the property? Not so much. I had to cut at least 6 smaller trees to clear room to get the three bigger trees out.. then cut those up. Mulch the smaller limbs, mow the tiny crap over. Spent two days in the scorching heat just for that. Spent a day out in Huntsville to find furniture. R2G had to set up three separate deliveries, so I had to be available all day for all of those. I used to help with deliveries and logistics, so I had my own dolly and helped them. Got it all in place, then had to go piece by piece and sort what the kids got to keep and didn't. Whatever was voted down, went out to the garage. Clothes included. Rewashed all remaining clothes and bedsheets. This took 2 days. Moved their keep-able stuff back in and hung their new curtains and wall fixtures. Scrubbed their fans. That was a day. By this point I was so profoundly fatigued I was taking breaks every 15 minutes. Kids get back from their moms after a day of driving out of state and love their rooms. And not just them. I have Jackson set up for another breathing specialist in 2 days. He's moving his stuff around, and I ask if he's done his morning inhaler. He pulls out his emergency one. Me: "Why are you using the emergency one?" Him: "I told mom I needed a refill but she never got it." So they're at their moms for about 5 weeks, and she never gets him his meds. I'm just wtf-ing at this point. He's got to get another screening and God only knows how long he's gone without his regular medicine. His Emergency Meds are NOT a substitute. Also disappointed it's 1) His mother not getting him a refill who is 2) training to become an RN. So I just drop everything and rush to the pharmacy. "Oh sorry, there's been an insurance coverage change.. we need to file paperwork with your doctor and get approval. Could take a day. Check back tomorrow." So he goes straight into the screening with nothing. Doctor verifies prescription pickups during the time they're with mom: ZERO. Go back to the pharmacy, "Here's another emergency inhaler... we'll have the real stuff tomorrow." See, if she had attempted to do anything, I would've known about the insurance issue eons ago and got it worked out. So this whole prolonged thing resulted in three times the hassle for me AND his breathing test came back worse than the last one. He had done so well before he was supposed to get his medication adjusted and would need to be screened less per year (less expensive overall.) So the negligence is also costing me more money on top of the huge set back with his breathing. So we're crazy fatigued, tired.. lots of driving, sorting, waiting around, or sweating to death in the sun.. but you know what.. it's slowly getting better and things are improving minus some setbacks. Lot of hurdles here, but we're staying positive. Then we get home and I look out the side window... Our neighbor on the other side of our home has put up a "U NO POOPO HERE" sign facing our house. Oh they didnt spend money on this.. it was HAND MADE by them. Not kidding. And this sign isn't pointed down the street at the rest of our loop, which their back yard faces. No, it's pointed at us, at the start of our street, right down our driveway. Everyone driving in and out can see it. The mayor and the entire chamber of commerce lives on our loop. And you want to talk about small town gossipers... This was done to shame us, because apparently our dog (who is not a lab) has gotten incredibly lazy. Instead of going in our yard or spreading it around the neighborhood (which the other neighborhood dogs have done) she's picked their mailbox as her go-to spot every single day. It's the 'just right' spot. The 'Cheers' bar of dumping places. Yes, this is an issue, and it's MY responsibility to deal with. It's my dog who uses a doggie door to go out.  That would never have once been a problem had I known it was happening. Problem was, they spent all the time in the world to: -clean up the dog messes -be annoyed for weeks -get materials -make a sign -post sign knowing what it would look like to a neighborhood that loves stupid drama .... and never ONCE talking to me about it. So I went over and spent half a day chit-chatting and easing tensions with the neighbor lady. She even apologized and said she should have talked to us. I said "I wish you would have. We even bought you flowers for your yard last spring. I thought we were cool." Her: "Well... it just seems like you guys got kind of unapproachable. You know we tried waving and it's like you didn't have the time." Me: "Like when I was just out in the yard all weekend? I noticed you guys were out too." Her: "Yeah" Me: "I was probably on my third heat stroke." So here we are. They call me the fireman. Putting out fires all over town. See you Tuesday. <3 UPDATE: Again, gotta push this off to this coming Tuesday. All this running around has definitely caught up to me. Felt incredibly sick all week. I think I gave myself an ulcer cause my insides have been on fire for days. Worked on this next comic a ton, but it's still got a lot of background elements to finish. Profusely apologize, guys. See you soon.

68 thoughts on “Tall, Dark, and Shadowbanned

  1. Good LORD. That’s just one long string of disasters.

    Well, glad to see you back in play, at any rate. Sounds like a lot of people need to be reintroduced to modern civility via the baseball bat.

  2. Haha, I love the nonchalant humor David’s last line, “It was never visible to me anyway.” That’s great! ?

  3. Father of the year here! Good job on taking pictures of the rooms before they got back, that’s the last time they’ll be that clean.

  4. Beautiful backgrounds and foregrounds! No wonder things were running behind! Worth it, though!

    And the kids’ rooms look great! Good luck with the rest of it!

  5. I log here this so much! I’ve been rooting for this from day one!!!

    Also, I may need some of that fireman advice. Building a house and already fear the neighbors don’t like me :/

    1. The trick is to move in somewhere replacing someone so horrible that you’re bound to look fantastic in comparison. I did that accidentally and it’s been wonderful.

    2. You could probably use some of my Grandfather’s advice. If you can’t make friends of the neighbors, make friends with their neighbors instead. That and leave a Christmas tip for the postman and the garbage man. Maybe even the meter (water) man.

  6. Vote on TWC. Link here or below the Patreon previews:

    Current stats at the time of this posting:
    xkcd is 40th with 1,503 votes.
    — 79.1053 v/d; 3.3033 v/hr; 0.0551 v/m.
    SHOTGUN SHUFFLE is 41th with 1,488 votes:
    —78.3158 v/d; 3.2703 v/hr; 0.0545 v/m.
    Spindrift is 37th with 1,650 votes:
    —86.8421 v/d; 3.6264 v/hr; 0.0604 v/m.
    Twokinds is 9th with 8,567 votes:
    —450.8947 v/d; 18.8286 v/hr; 0.3138 v/m.
    Replay is 8th with 8,653 votes:
    —455.4211 v/d; 19.0176 v/hr; 0.3170 v/m.
    Stand Still. Stay Silent. is 7th with 10,111 votes:
    —532.1579 v/d; 22.2220 v/hr; 0.3704 v/m.
    Twisted Dark is 5th with 10,666 votes:
    —561.3684 v/d; 23.4418 v/hr; 0.3907 v/m.
    Just Call Me Gary is 2nd with 14,178 votes:
    —746.2105 v/d; 31.1604 v/hr; 0.5193 v/m.
    Grrl Power is 1st with 18,656 votes:
    —981.8947 v/d; 41.0022 v/hr; 0.6834 v/m.

    50th slot — 1,265 AV*: 66.5789; 2.7802; 0.0463.
    40th slot — 1,503 AV: 79.1053; 3.3033; 0.0551.
    20th slot — 4,205 AV: 221.3158; 9.2418; 0.1540.
    Top ten — 8,416 AV: 442.9474; 18.4967; 0.3083.
    Top five — 10,666 AV: 561.3684; 23.4418; 0.3907.
    * Accumulated votes

    1. Vote on TWC. Link here or below the Patreon previews:

      Current stats at the time of this posting:

      SHOTGUN SHUFFLE is 41th with 1,529 votes:
      —76.4500 v/d; 3.2671 v/hr; 0.0545 v/m.
      Stand Still. Stay Silent. is 7th with 10,372 votes:
      —518.6000 v/d; 22.1624 v/hr; 0.3694 v/m.
      Grrl Power is 1st with 18,916 votes:
      —945.8000 v/d; 40.4188 v/hr; 0.6736 v/m.

      40th slot — 1,549 AV: 77.4500; 3.3098; 0.0552.
      20th slot — 4,254 AV: 212.7000; 9.0897; 0.1515.
      Top ten — 8,575 AV: 428.7500; 18.3226; 0.3054.
      * Accumulated votes

      1. Vote on TWC. Link here or below the Patreon previews:

        Current stats at the time of this posting:

        SHOTGUN SHUFFLE is 42nd with 1,611 votes:
        —76.7143 v/d; 3.2092 v/hr; 0.0535 v/m.
        Spindrift is 37th with 1,796 votes:
        —85.5238 v/d; 3.5777 v/hr; 0.0596 v/m.
        Twokinds is 11th with 9,161 votes:
        —436.2381 v/d; 18.2490 v/hr; 0.3042 v/m.
        Replay is 8th with 9,430 votes:
        —449.0476 v/d; 18.7849 v/hr; 0.3131 v/m.
        Stand Still. Stay Silent. is 6th with 11,151 votes:
        —531.0000 v/d; 22.2131 v/hr; 0.3702 v/m.
        Grrl Power is 1st with 19,837 votes:
        —944.6190 v/d; 39.5159 v/hr; 0.6586 v/m.

        50th slot — 1,377 AV*: 65.5714; 2.7430; 0.0457.
        40th slot — 1,636 AV: 77.9048; 3.2590; 0.0543.
        20th slot — 4,936 AV: 235.0476; 9.8327; 0.1639.
        Top ten — 9,175 AV: 436.9048; 18.2769; 0.3046.
        Top five — 11,235 AV: 535.0000; 22.3805; 0.3730.
        * Accumulated votes

        1. Vote on TWC. Link here or below the Patreon previews:

          Current stats at the time of this posting:

          SHOTGUN SHUFFLE is 42nd with 1,744 votes:
          —75.8261 v/d; 3.1825 v/hr; 0.0530 v/m.
          Spindrift is 37th with 1,944 votes:
          —84.5217 v/d; 3.5474 v/hr; 0.0591 v/m.
          Stand Still. Stay Silent. is 5th with 12,089 votes:
          —525.6087 v/d; 22.0602 v/hr; 0.3677 v/m.
          Grrl Power is 1st with 21,000 votes:
          —913.0435 v/d; 38.3212 v/hr; 0.6387 v/m.

          50th slot — 1,497 AV*: 65.0870; 2.7318; 0.0455.
          40th slot — 1,782 AV: 77.4783; 3.2518; 0.0542.
          20th slot — 5,304 AV: 230.6087; 9.6788; 0.1613.
          Top ten — 9,889 AV: 429.9565; 18.0456; 0.3008.
          Top five — 12,089 AV: 525.6087; 22.0602; 0.3677.
          * Accumulated votes

        2. Vote on TWC. Link here or below the Patreon previews:

          Current stats at the time of this posting:

          SHOTGUN SHUFFLE is 42nd with 1,823 votes:
          —75.9583 v/d; 3.1815 v/hr; 0.0530 v/m.
          Stand Still. Stay Silent. is 5th with 12,635 votes:
          —526.4583 v/d; 22.0506 v/hr; 0.3675 v/m.
          Grrl Power is 1st with 21,616 votes:
          —900.6667 v/d; 37.7243 v/hr; 0.6287 v/m.

          50th slot — 1,568 AV*: 65.3333; 2.7365; 0.0456.
          40th slot — 1,859 AV: 77.4583; 3.2443; 0.0541.
          20th slot — 5,395 AV: 224.7917; 9.4154; 0.1569.
          Top ten — 10,369 AV: 432.0417; 18.0960; 0.3016.
          Top five — 12,635 AV: 526.4583; 22.0506; 0.3675.
          * Accumulated votes

  7. Take the sign out, put it on your Other neighbour’s front door and when he talks to you (because he won’t talk to someone further away than he has to by his age and no trespassing crotchetiness) say the wind myst have got it said other neighbor is welcome to return it to their front door, and nail it there so it sticks.
    Sit back and watch the fireworks because if you can’t please everyone you can certainly offend them all equally.

    1. I was wondering the same thing. Perhaps Tired Guy wanted to cut down on the drinks expenditures to save money and held the LoveCon at 4 am. Either 4am or walk/talk all night, why Ellie’s answer to what she’s doing all day is anything other than “I’ll be sleeping” is anyone’s guess.

  8. I have drama consistently in my little corner of the world.

    I live in a cul-de-sac (I call it the cul-de-ballsack of the neighborhood), and my neighbor to the left of me and the one across the street are … wealthy. Like really wealthy. Which confuses me to why they are in an upper middle class neighborhood.

    Anyway, the guy across the street came home one day with a brand new BMW (he had a nice Miata before that). He parks it in the driveway (he has a garage), and leaves it there for two days. He washes it both days, making sure to blast music from his garage while doing so, making everyone look to see where the noise is coming from. The neighbor next to me comes out on his porch and watches for a bit. Then two days later, he comes home with a Porche. A mfing brand new Porche – the Boxster S to be exact. That car costs more than both of mine. He then proceeds to wash his car with his music blasting.

    Not even two days later, the guy across the street pulls into his driveway. He’s not in his brand new BMW that he bought two days ago, no. Now he’s driving Mercedes Maybach. I kid you not. It’s a $150k+ car. Neighbor on the left is washing his car so he sees the neighbor pull in. Now it’s on – the escalation of ridiculously expensive cars has begun.

    Right now, the neighbor on my left has a Porche Panamera with all the fixings (I think around $163k) and the neighbor across the street has the new Mercedes Benz S Class (around $165k). I have a 2017 Scion XM, and a 2018 Toyota CHR (it was time – our 2003 and 2001 Toyota cars were dying). Both of my cars combined cost a third of one of their cars. This shit is insane.

      1. The guy across the street had a “I just had a pool built, come right over!” party two years ago, and we decided to humor him.

        He rebuilt the Grotto from the Playboy Mansion in his back yard. Including girls he hired from Twin Peaks restaurant in bikinis serving drinks. It had a waterfall, a tide pool, everything. I took advantage of his bar and even lifted a bottle of expensive whiskey for later.

        1. For the neighbor next door who has a nice large pool and hot tub, we share a fence, so I usually cause something to end up in his yard when he’s gone so I can take a quick dip in the pool. He has one very cheap security camera watching his backyard, and I can hijack it with baby monitor software and black out the feed. We’ve had fun with filling his drained hot tub with ping pong balls, and changing the color of the main pool a few times.

    1. I always enjoyed that my beat-up Corolla with a pathetic engine that was also ridiculously light and my good reflexes could usually beat the nicer cars off the line at the stop light and my look of, “My car’s worth crap and I I don’t care, you’re not in that situation” foiled a lot of “I’ll just jump in front of this guy” plans.

      Less ability to do this was the saddest thing for me when I finally gave in and replaced that car.

        1. Likely someone else’s. My mom’s old vehicle limped past its last legs around the time I got something different so she’s been finishing driving it into the rest of the way into the ground the last several years, and I expect she’ll keep it another few years.

      1. We loved our Corollas very much – they have been the most trustworthy cars I’ve ever owned. However 300k miles later, it’s so expensive to replace suspension, brakes, transmission, etc. that it’s not cost-efficient anymore. So what we did was go with the same dealer and stuck with Toyota. My new Scion is fantastic – it’s a neat little car with everything I need and it’s fuel efficient. I never have a problem parking it, and I can get out of tight parking spaces downtown easier than I did with the Corolla. My wife is driving the RAV4, so we have a vehicle to haul stuff around.

        If the newer Corollas were somewhat smaller and more fuel efficient, we would have gotten one instead of the RAV4, but we needed something that can haul furniture and stuff from Ikea.

        1. Yes, I did get the link, thank you.

          It gives me soooo many ideas. Other than just the shirt, I want to do something on the video monitors that my fellow DJ sets up at shows in the front of the booth (two giant TV screens that usually just display the DJ’s name and maybe some weird geometric stuff) that has a shouting Kirk or Spock.

          I’m not sure how I feel about Ikea meatballs.

        2. Personally, I believe it’s fundamentally wrong for furniture stores to offer hot food. It’s just too far off, like an electronics store that sells clothes or a plumbing supply store that sells furs.

          We have a saying out here: “I don’t buy my tires where I buy my groceries.”

        3. Those aren’t really furniture stores. They might have furniture in them, but they’re wholesale stores.

        4. Exactly. Supply food, and get them to have the customer become accustomed to the smells of comfort and sustenance. Thus, they expand the output function of any pocketbook.

        5. For me reliability is first, then longevity, & finally fuel efficiency with comfort thrown in there as a wild card. Toyota & Honda tend to be the two for reliability so since I don’t actually care what country a CEO & board dodges taxes in, I “bought American” and got a Honda as they’re the biggest automotive employer left in Ohio.

          I’ve been reasonably happy with it, though I can’t say I have a strong preference as some other people I know do. However, the fact that the nearest Toyota dealer infuriates me and the whole “financially support the one with more jobs in my state and that does engineering too” will likely leave me trending towards Honda while things remain as they are.

  9. Sounds like a real comedy of errors; hope it gets better. The bedrooms look great; anything “cat approved” is usually ok ;)

  10. Wow, as a person who has had to tolerate assholes neighbors from time to time I must say I am happy you can talk things out with yours. At least yours doesn’t call the cops on you every week or so over the tiniest things just to create a fuss. For real, when I was in high school we had a neighbor who did that and the cops were so sick of his shit.

    Anyway, wow, I’m always floored at how gorgeous the scenery is in the comics nowadays. I really like the water in the first panel.

  11. I’m the quiet neighbor who blasts speed metal once a week, and spend the *entire* week hearing everyone else in the quadruplex gripe about it. My neighbor retaliate with a loud TV, on the other side of the bedroom wall, 6 days a week for my one night of noise. I’ve been woken up at 4:00 AM on Wednesday morning by whatever they were watching.. which is *totally* like blasting Iron Maiden on Friday night. :p

    1. You should get me for a neighbor. You could probably go Colin Furze and I wouldn’t hear two thirds of it. Unless it was the fireworks, then I’ll be able to see what’s going on.

    1. Are you referring to the movie with Gregory Peck and Audrey Hepburn in it?

      Man, I haven’t seen that movie in a LOOOONG time. I used to watch all these old black and white romcom movies, just to see what they were like back then. Roman Holiday was definitely one of the ones I remember.

      1. Well all you need is a little trip to Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza, and that’ll make you right as rain, it really will! :D

        1. How about no? Does that work for you? I can show up somewhere between “Hell-no-30” and “Screw-this-O’clock”.

  12. How about no? Does that work for you? I can show up somewhere between “Hell-no-30” and “Screw-this-O’clock”.

  13. Peppermint tea, man. Straight leaves, hot as you can stand it. Relaxes the muscles, reduces acid. Most any gut trouble you got can be addressed with peppermint tea.

    1. Actually, you need to be careful there. Peppermint relaxes the muscle between the stomach & the esophagus. If your issue is gas pain, it’s great. If your issue is reflux, then it’s something that’ll make things worse.

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