97 4353

Terms and Conditions-Part 1

I got in the weeds with the last Patreon. Preview on the right. This was supposed to be two tiers, but I had to cut the bottom half for time. Next two backgrounds after this are pretty hefty. Definitely wanted to get something up today. Apologies for the wait. Anyhoo, Tuesday's should be on time. :P So my friend Matt forges all these cool historical weaponry creations and cosplays from different time periods. He's really into it. Does historical discussions, goes to ren fairs and all that. Makes stuff like this: Matt 1 Matt 2 He actually mailed me a shield he created after doing extensive research on the Fatfat Age. Which is, if memory serves, somewhere shortly after the Bronze Age. The Shield of Fattening, as it's widely known, was carried into war by Fattus Maximus against the Doggo army. He was victorious and revered. Truly a mighty leader. His chins plentiful. His WalMart powerchair fully charged. He's made such a hobby from this, he actually started a Patreon where he's doing raffles and giveaways of the stuff he creates. So if you ever want to win a shield of your own, or maybe a pocket-sized javelin.. definitely check him out. His future projects also include making molds for weapon-themed chocolates. Valentine's Day is just around the corner guys. Don't forget about your ladies. You can find Matt here: AA copy I really like that logo for some reason. You can also see more of his stuff on Facebook and Instagram.

97 thoughts on “Terms and Conditions-Part 1

        1. You should join us. Less than a month away. Come by this year as a fan, get the lay of the show, and maybe next year set up a booth. I’m sure you could sell stuff here.

    1. mR. Blue makes the motion that the firsting of firsts be hereby granted to Matt due to both his slightly inadequate message claiming the first spot of messages, but in also for his being mentioned as well in the Author’s comments. Plus, he works with heavy metal. Dude.

  1. Book of Armaments Chapter 45, Verse 1-6

    Yea, did Fattus Maximus go Forth into battle, clutching his Big Gulppe of the Dew of the Mountain, his Tanke of Oxygenated Vapors Hissing Behinde Him, His Powerede Steede Chargede and Rollinge. The Sackes of WalMart Goodes Contained in the Baskete at the Fore of the Steede did Clattere as he Rode, the Chaine Gune on the Bars of Handle did Clattere Most Vociferousley, and his Standard of the Dire Kittene did Followe.

    An Artistes’ Conceptione of Fattus Maximus


    1. His watch is on his right wrist, as shown in “Incoming” shotgunshuffle.com/comic/incoming/#.V5wT-DVCLTg
      It seems that he’s leaning forward, resting his arms on his knees, wondering what to do. Thinking that he got stood up, who knows. It seems plausible that this will be discussed by our two characters in the future.

    2. Seems to me like it is an old habit. Also a sign that he wasn’t born blind.

      I have sometimes found myself glancing at my watch when bored or waiting, only to not know the the time after the glance. This told me I did not look at my watch to get the time, but as a habit and/or as something to do when bored/waiting.

      This, to me, mostly indicates that David here was not blind at birth.

  2. Ah, the three phases of a person getting stood up:

    1) Maybe they’re running late

    2) Maybe they just forgot

    3) F*** this noise, I’m done.

    1. You think that follows similarly to college classes with lecturer not showing up (I seemed to recall grad students got 5 min grace, post-docs got 10, & full professors 15 and then it was considered fair game to leave).

      1. I don’t think I ever waited for a professor as long as I imagine I would wait for a date with Ellie.

        Seriously, it’d be like “Hmm, 12 hours, I bet she’s stuck in traffic- Ah! Is that her?! Oh… no it’s just a squirrel. Well she’s bound to show up any minute now.”

        1. I don’t know waiting twelve hours for Ellie seems a bit excessive. I mean for Tarra it’d be one thing, but Ellie? I think ten maybe ten and a half hours tops.

          Don’t get me wrong Ellie’s great. She’s smart, attractive, and it sees like she’d be a joy to hang out with. However, she has neither a plushie nor a comic nor a series on the Gameshow Network.

        2. No person is worth waiting that long for. If they can’t respect you enough to be on time or message, they’re not worth your patience.

        3. Agreed. I was just exaggerating for comedic effect. My apologies if that wan’t apparent.

        4. Bah, don’t give him the satisfaction! When someone corrects you while joking, that’s the time to dig in your heels.

          Don’t tell them you’re exaggerating – just exaggerate more. Be absurd!

          Don’t apologize for being subtle – double-down on the ambiguity. Disorient them if you must!

          If people don’t get your humor, then at the very least make sure they feel awkward and uneasy about it.

        5. But I don’t want to make people awkward and uneasy. The point of the joke was to be silly and upbeat. Since the subject matter could be a sore spot for some people I thought it best to make it clear I wasn’t serious.

          There’s enough misunderstanding and confusion in the world without me adding to it.

        6. I’ll take a page from your book and explain then. There are two people you’ll encounter if you don’t back down when being silly: 1) People who realize you’re kidding and join in the laughs, and 2) people who stubbornly insist on taking your comments seriously anyway.

          Perosnally, I’d rather cater to the former half of the world than the latter.



        8. Definitely not professors. I remember being excited when a professor was late for a class I didn’t like – it was like getting an hour of my life back! Oh the things I could do with that extra bit of time!

          Whereas if it was a date with Ellie… Meh, I’ve already waited 16 hours, what’s a couple more, right? I mean, it’s just TIME – it’s not like I was going to use it for anything important anyway probably.

        9. To be honest, if someone waited on me for several hours, rather than them giving up on me and I’d have to track them down and explain/apologize later, I’d be kinda’ creeped out.

          “You’ve been waiting HOW LONG? Is..is that moss? . . . I suppose it is interesting and no, I didn’t know that it was humid enough that the moisture from dew on this bench is enough to keep you from dying of thirst.”

  3. So apparently Ellie remained true to her word.

    I ran into Matt and the Ancient Armory on FB and have been following him for a while, good stuff if you’re into cosplay with a more historical bent.

  4. I don’t know if I should feel sad for him or not. :p Did he know it was Ellie? What’s his reasons for following her? He does however looked bummed out. :(

    1. Out of curiosity, why are you relieved? My assumption with his departure is that he’s probably going to head to her apartment.

        1. Am I the only one that finds Blind Guy creepy? Has it ever been explained how he found Ellie’s apartment in the first place?

        2. Hmm… I was going to try to somewhat defend Blind Guy, but the more I tried to formulate my arguments the more I realized I was just rationalizing why his actions were questionable but didn’t verge into ‘creepy.’

          Then I thought about how I would feel if I found out some guy did to me what Blind Guy’s done to Ellie and… Yeah, not okay. At. All.

          Granted I don’t think Blind Guy’s intentions are malicious like some of the characters we’ve seen, but that doesn’t make his behavior any more acceptable or lessen the harm it could have on Ellie’s well being.

        3. Ellie did tell blind guy about the encounter with tired guy and more than likely Quinn’s first rodeo. She did tell him about Tired Guys efforts to have them evicted. Living under them leaves little room for geo spatial interpretation.

          Don’t forget, he’s got great hearing.

        4. Oh that’s right, I forgot he lived in the same apartment building. Still, to actually go and punch Tired Guy in the face? I got the impression that BG and Ellie hardly knew each other at that point. Following that assumption, BG either 1. Developed feelings for Ellie unusually quickly 2. Has known her longer than he lets on 3. Has his own beef with Tired Guy. One can’t help but wonder.

        5. I don’t think Blind Guy lives in the same apartment building, but I don’t think we’ve had anything specific about where he lives (past there possibly being a public lot behind his house and him being bothered by kids trying to get their baseball back).

          Blind Guy’s behavior is absolutely creepy and would be unacceptable in real life, but that goes to a lot of the way that things get some degree of a pass in fiction that wouldn’t in real life.

          As for his interest in Ellie, his call to Rosemary did lead to her getting kicked out, and it’s looking likely that he was Tarra’s tutor in high school and/or college and may or may not be associated with her any more (as per her reaction to Dheu). Note also that Rosemary described Tarra as obsessed with her tutor and that Ellie has been stated to be a lazier version of Tarra. He was flinching back from anything leading towards romance earlier, so it’s not certain that he’s headed in that direction versus just having a bit of a “protector” mindset and the date might’ve just been intended as a seeming accident running into her for a pep talk attempt again. I do think that ultimately Ellie is reasonably likely to get involved with him, but I’m not sure if that’s likely to be any time soon.

        6. All this talk about Blind Guy being creepy and inappropriate seems a little odd. Blind Guy passed up on dating Ellie, several times IIRC, not the other way around. He may have blown his chances with her as a result and it’s pretty clear he’s regretting that. What we’re seeing is he hasn’t figured out how to undo it.

          He occasionally passed by her apartment building; who gives a @#$%? He’s not eavesdropping through her door. He’s pretty clearly trying to “just run into her” with what you guys are calling stalking, not eliminating his potential rivals, sniffing her perfume from afar, or sabotaging her jobs. Those would be creepy and well within his established abilities. The worst thing he’s done so far is punched someone spying on Ellie to get her evicted. That’s it.

        7. I suppose the biggest red flag for me is his finding out her address without her knowing. Add to that his going out of his way to be in places she’ll be and routinely walking by her place and it points toward a certain pattern of behavior.

          The important thing would be how Ellie feels about it and she’s currently only aware of him showing up at her job all the time. She didn’t seem bothered by that and it’s possible the other stuff wouldn’t either.

          After all Quinn didn’t mind Pumpkin looking up her birthday or James looking up her major even though I’d personally find both of those rather disturbing. Maybe not so much with Pumpkin since she’s her roommate’s sister and they’d been hanging out for a while at that point, but James having done ‘research’ made me uneasy and I’m surprised it wasn’t addressed in-comic at the time.

          Also, regardless of Ellie’s feelings Blind Guy has shown horrible judgement for not asking himself, ‘could my behavior be upsetting to the girl I presumably care about,” and coming to the conclusion, ‘Yes, yes it could. I should stop doing this immediately.’

        8. There is definitely a disconnect in how easy it is to find out info about someone and how someone would feel if said information was used.

          For example, I keep a landline and don’t have an unlisted phone number and I gave that phone number to a girl I was interested in. Even though I was interested in her, and she knows my name and phone number, and is simply a quick search away on either from finding my physical address, I would’ve found it odd/creepy if she’d ever just shown up at my door unexpectedly. If she’d told me that she googled my name and found an address and asked about it being ok to stop by, that’d be no problem at all.

          The thing with Blind Guy that makes his behavior seem just a bit over the line for me is over half from that first incident with Tired Guy (finding her address, going to her apartment building, and attempting to solve her problems including turning to violence when rebuffed). There’s something … proprietary (for lack of a better word) about trying to solve someone else’s problem without their consent. It’s one thing to offer to help and then give the help that was agreed upon, but when a person sticks their nose in someone else’s problem without their approval, it potentially just causes bigger hassles (and talking to a neighbor with a dispute and then punching them in the face would normally cause a bigger hassle). So effectively it seems Blind Guy is deciding he has better judgement than Ellie and knows the best way to solve her problems, and then goes out and acts in what seems reckless in a way that could rebound back at her.

          Things after that seem to qualify as “light stalking.” Not horrible alone or anything, but depending on his intentions and judgement, possibly bad.

          Granted, the above assessment is taking as an assumption something the current story is drawing into question. That’s the assumption that Blind Guy & Tired Guy didn’t actually know each other in comic Guy vs Guy. If they have a history and Blind Guy knows a little more about what Tired Guy’s doing, and is perhaps his antagonist for completely unrelated reasons, then maybe the punch wasn’t out of character for them. If he’s concerned about what Tired Guy’s doing and is a good friend of Tarra’s, maybe his stalking is an attempt to protect Ellie from potential backlash around whatever D52 is up to. Maybe Blind Guy’s a member of D52 as well and is trying to keep Ellie away from problems with internal organizational squabbles. Maybe Tarra’s the head of D52 and she & David had a falling out and Blind Guy’s after Ellie as revenge, a bargaining chip, or a shield. All those and more completely throw my current reasoning out of the water, and are quite possible within the realm of the story.

        9. Well, the other dates seem to have been a matter of “We’re on a date, so we must be dating!” or not enough dating experience to know what to do on a date.

          Blind Guy doesn’t seem to have either of those issues. What we do know, is he had opportunities to ask her out before and didn’t. He also has a tendency to follow her about.

          So, I’m not quite sure he’d be better than any of the at least innocent dates she had.

        10. I think Owen was the worst date of the bunch. The others made her think “this job sucks.” Owen made her think “I suck for having this job.”

        11. You saying she didn’t suck for having a job that’s only intent was to take their money and keep them paying on something that didn’t work?

          Or do you think one date without really telling them all the things they did wrong on the date, would really help them out?

        12. I’m saying that prior to Owen her negative feelings about the job were targeted outward whereas after Owen they are targeted inward.

          Also, that all of her dates through the site have been awful, Owen is not an exception.

          I’m hesitant to say she sucks (I’m just saying that’s probably how she feels). Agreeing to work for the site was a mistake but once she quits, which I’m fairly certain she’s already decided to do, I don’t see the need to hold it against her.

        13. The end was certainly unpleasant, but the realization itself was worth something. So I’d say the date with Owen was valuable for her, thus not all bad.

        14. The realization was the result of her learning from a bad experience. I don’t think that makes the experience any less bad.

        15. The bad part of the bad experience was actually noticing and looking in a bit more of a clear eyed fashion at what she was doing. There wasn’t anything actually worse on her side with Owen than with the 16 before him. The only thing bad on Owen’s side was calling her out on it and refusing to be party to her deceiving herself. The bad experience for her was really just the realization of the truth. Failing to have that realization sooner just would’ve made the guilt worse later (due to additional damage caused). So I do see how it was unpleasant, but it seems to me like it was also a net positive.

          (side note/disclaimer – in my own private moral calculus, I rank honesty far and away as more important than kindness, so sometimes my judgements on the moral goodness of a thing are a bit off from how others would see them)

        16. I think I’m talking more about the date’s immediate impact on Ellie’s emotional state rather than any kind of objective morality. (At least in this branch of this thread.)

          I consider the date to have been a net negative experience since at the end she’s more unhappy than she was at the start. Also, I consider that date to be her worst since she enjoys herself to the point that she contemplates an ongoing relationship with Owen only for it to all fall apart at the end. I think in general having high expectations that aren’t met tends to be more demoralizing than having low expectations that are met.

        17. I don’t know. I can see reasons to hold it against her. For one, she just cost 20 people money. She took a job knowing it was messing with people.

          Sometimes, people do need to have things held against them, even if it’s just for awhile. If you do something bad and get off right away then all you take away from it is, the ability to do it again.

        18. I suppose it would be more accurate to say that I don’t want to hold it against her since I like her and would rather just move past this unfortunate chapter of her life.

          I’m confident that she’s finally realized, or at least become willing to admit to herself, that she’s done wrong and already feels terrible about it. So I don’t see the need for me to pile on the guilt.

    2. Just for now, I do know of a location where a McD’s was demolished and rebuilt. I’m mapping that location in reference to the girls’ apartment complex. From there, it may be possible to find the school. However, wait. Jr. High, wouldn’t it be Jr. High School? Dang, I was mapping Elementary schools. Hang on.

        1. This address is close to the Southwest school buildings (Jr. & Middle). Has an empty lot next to a house, walking distance for Blind Guy and offers a reasonable location for the bus to go by O’Jacks.

      1. Blind Guy presumably overheard Ashliii’s conversation with Pumpkin referenced in comic Rage Text (about Ellie being on the schedule for the day Blind Guy first talked to her). With the effort he’s putting into running into Ellie, he could easily walk away and take another bus to get home after showing up there.

        1. And if I remember the Google maps, that particular school is within two miles from the girls apartment. But yes, the presumption is that Pumpkin and Ashliii were talking about it in class the next day, allowing Blind Guy the ability to over hear if he chose to pay attention.

  5. Am I the only one who thinks that, to win the war against the Doggo army, all you’d have to do is not move?

  6. Question: Does he even know that Ellie is the one he is waiting for? How would he know? (Without being a total stalker.)

    Maybe this is all part of Tired Guy’s Revenge..?

  7. Hmmm, we haven’t seen sign of cane or dog in the comic or the last. I wonder if they’re off-panel or if he doesn’t have them with him for some reason.

    1. the cane is prolly folded up and tucked away/set down outside the frame of the image, but assistant dogs generally really don’t like movie theaters especially if they are going to be loud, and in previous parts we have seen him he’s been in extremely crowded places, which generally neither will serve you very well in, and can still make some dogs uncomfortable and anxious despite training, so most patients generally avoid it. I’m not blind, but I have one myself, and she mostly comes with me out if I’m gonna go grocery shopping or out for a walk and that is it, really her big job is to go get me help when I can’t, so when I’ll always be around large groups of others who will be able to tell if I’m in distress she gets her downtime.

  8. I would applaud Ellie for putting her foot down on Tired Guy and his posse, buuuuut the commentary on the Patreon update states that Ellie’s going to have a good date so that may be a bit premature.

    1. Her good date might be completely separate from the site (or at least as far as she knows, i.e. Blind Guy might show up and ask her out and not mention the date she skipped out on). It could be that her reaction from going on dates from the site is to start making an attempt at dating (I can think of several potential thought paths that could lead that way). I’d actually be more inclined to think that her being on a good date would be a sign that she told Tired Guy to shove it.

  9. Alternate interpretation of this page:
    He’s not leaving because he got tired of waiting – he’s leaving because his sage advice is needed elsewhere.

    He goes where he is needed.

  10. So did he join the website because he knows that’s Mr. Night’s business (detective-ing between grading papers?) or is he on a dating site to meet people?

    Sucks to be stood up, though.

  11. XD

    Also, I kind of feel it’s too early to plan to not do anything on Valentine’s Day. I’m far too busy planning to not do anything for Halloween.

      1. I suppose I somewhat naively hope to eventually get a girlfriend. I even made a New Year’s resolution to finally get one this year. But alas my efforts continue to come to naught.

        1. I’ve mainly come to the conclusion that it’s not impossible but also not likely. Blind chance may still bring someone my way someday, but nothing in the enforceable future seems to have any strong likelihoods (and a good part of that is some of my own choices).

          As for New Year’s resolutions, I’ve found I have a lot better luck and greater chance of succeeding with that sort of thing when I set it at random times during the year rather than starting specifically at New Year’s. Not entirely certain why, but that’s the way it seems to work for me.

        2. s/enforceable/foreseeable/

          Though I’m not on a phone, typing it again there I notice that enforceable was the second suggestion for how I misspelled foreseeable. So I guess that’s one to swear at the manual, rather than automatic, corkboard.

        3. Get Pokémon Go, go outside, find a pokestop near enough to a place you can sit down, relax, and just amicably compare notes. However, I only saw one couple that had to be strictly defined as boyfriend/girlfriend as she was riding on his shoulders. Driving all before her mount’s bipedal shorts and sneakers in search of Pumpkin in a Pikachu hoodie.

        4. Eh, I kind of got out of Pokémon after they started messing with the numbering in Ruby and Sapphire.

          Although the marketing potential of Pokémon Go does make me giddy.

  12. No dog… Could daredevil here be just weak-sighted, not blind ?

    And he shouldn’t have been able to track ellie from the fastfood joint.

  13. I was trying to read the “Ancient Armory” logo using Greek pronunciations, but all I came up with was DP?THSPT before realising it was just substitution for Latin letters.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.