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Terms and Conditions-Part 4

I know everyone was on the edge of their seats over the whereabouts of Wilf's glasses. Mystery solved. So a few things... I uploaded the start of Quinn's storyline from the Patreon comics. It's been a good long while since anything new was posted to the main site from those. Unlike Pumpkin's storyline, Quinn's is sprinkled throughout the story. You can find them notated on the archive page as such: Quinn-Patreon This story is still on-going, and as always, the Patreon-exclusive comics are located HERE, and available to $2.00 pledges and up. I did a promotional thing for Youtuber Alachia Queen. She's pretty up and coming, and does wonderful reviews on movies, shows, and occasionally her own life observations. I genuinely like her style, and enjoy the fact she doesn't go soft on movies. alachia Also working on a different promotional thingy... Throne of Skulls I'd show you more of the image but you'd be terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought. :P

61 thoughts on “Terms and Conditions-Part 4

  1. Fiiiiiirrrrrrssst.
    (Intentionally less than the required amount of words for trolling purposes.)

    Also, starting to think the drug dealer is a one note character. Not a strike against Mr. Rusche. Just that the guys a twit.

    1. Has the trying too hard completely circled itself, brining him back into trying juuuust hard enough to make it redeeming? Much like the fail that fails so hard it becomes a win, the hardness of his trying may become smoothly natural if he pushes it just last the limit (but too far and it’ll implode)

      1. Merrick’s level of tryhard at this point is like the lost continent of Atlantis. It no longer appears on any map.

    1. Your application for first has been disqualified, on the grounds that it is not long enough to meet minimum standards, and that it is not, in fact, first. Thank you for applying.

      1. The International Firsting Olympic Committee has reviewed this application, and found that the person came out of no-where and entered the fricas. Therefore, this beggars the need for amending the rule that a normal identity be used to create the firsts, firstings, and open ended statements that meet the aforementioned criteria to include being logged in.

        Other stuff omitted because I don’t know how to reference it without coming to a complete train wreck.

  2. If he slows down time for himself, does that mean that Rebecca has to hang around him for longer than she wants to? Or does Judge Dredd bang down the door and shove momma over the railing?

    1. Looks like, though all the songs are sexual in nature, so I wonder if it’s a general time slowdown with chosen songs for the only time he’d ever want to, or if it’s more specific.

      1. Which begs the question, are the songs mainly for him, or just convincing the girls that he’s the “long lasting” lover that they’ve been seeking?

        I suggest that he’s found his own cure for one of the male’s foremost problems. Premature ejaculation. Now if only I could find a youtube reference for a funny joke.

  3. I am always terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought :P Alachia is great , her review of the new GB was one of the least biased I’ve seen, hopefully she’ll go far.

    Merrick is apparently like the gun merchant in Resident Evil 4, except drugs instead of guns.

    1. The one problem with being a movie reviewer–and here I speak from the platform of having been one for pushing a decade and a half–is that eventually you see something so terrible that it blows your scale clean off its rocker. After that, everything else looks at least kind of good in comparison. For me, that something was four Ulli Lommel movies. I watched that man ruin H.P. Lovecraft. It takes a special kind of monster to ruin Lovecraft.

      1. I know of this monster of which you speak. But he didn’t so much ruin Lovecraft as co-opt his name for a cut rate Saw ripoff that was unrelated (as far as I could tell) to Lovecraft’s stories at all. Though I only got about half way through before I gave up and watched something else.

        I never really considered that a particularly bad movie would skew your entire perception of what a good movie is, the implications are horrifying…

        1. That explains it. You didn’t get all the way through. Try it some time. Get through that one, then pull up Mummy Maniac and Black Dahlia. You get through those three, and Hollywood’s half-baked schlock will look pretty appetizing when you remember that Ulli Lommel Soup is out there, being stirred with an entire human forearm stripped of flesh.

        2. Also, think of it in terms of numbers. Before Lommel, you may have rated movies one through ten. After Lommel, you discover negative five. Now suddenly your scale is -5 to +10, and those movies that would have been twos before are now not too far from the middle of the scale.

        3. My scales for everything always include EVERYTHING. Like “how bad is it on a scale of 1 to 10”? 1 = It actually isn’t bad, 10 = whole human race dies slowly and painfully. “how much does it hurt” 1 = doesn’t hurt. 10 = death by pain induced shock. Corollary: nothing is ever a max value on any scale because things can always get more extreme.

          The upside is nothing ever blows any of my scales. The downside is most people don’t find asking me to rank things helpful. Makes doctor visits frustrating for us both. >.<

    2. I’m with the Tick on this topic. Sanity’s a one trick pony, but when you’re good & crazy, the sky’s the limit (or maybe something else, I mean you’re crazy, the limit might be something unexpected like watermelon rind).

      1. …and I forget I’m on the browser setup that doesn’t save my name between posting in the same session right now… That was me above.

      2. Batman isn’t crazy, and he doesn’t seem to be such a one trick pony. However, the Joker is insane and he just wants to kill people. Or does it seem that these two individuals are the exception to your argument rather than the fodder that would foil it as Devil’s advocate?

        1. I’m just saying rational thinking isn’t always all it’s cracked up to be.

          Besides, you could call Batman a one-trick pony in that he has a single obsession that defines his whole life, where the Joker is much more fluid of focus.

          Additionally, I think everyone can agree that the Joker is much happier than Batman, so by pop culture values he wins that way too.

  4. Okay, so if we assume that’s Vigo the Carpathian, and the stubby, Michelin-Man-esque fingers of the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man on the left, who does that make the character on the right?

        1. Zuul is the dog thing (the gate keeper) that possessed Dana, that’s definitely Gozer (the traveller, the destroyer, etc.).

          Vinz Clortho was the other dog thing (the key master) that possessed Louis.

  5. Before now, I’d been assuming that Merrick was a low-level dealer in the Montage world. With him offering a lesser known product that isn’t for “the customers” I’m starting to wonder if he’s the source of both or if Slow Jamz is just another drug he gets from the same source that doesn’t have as much of a following.

    1. Well, he did say that he’s his own customer in that reguards as well as the implications for the postential for second hand side effects. Maybe he’s an individual with multiple doctorates in sociology, psychology, medicine, chemistry and music.

    2. He sold Danny mild montage that he made himself, so presumably at least some of his product is acquired from other sources. The slow jamz are probably just his personal supply, though why he carries it around on his person I find somewhat puzzling. He must want to make sure he’s prepared in case he actually meets a girl willing to give him the time of day.

      I find the idea of other forms of music being condensed into an ingestable form intriguing. I could see a rather successful line of combat stims based off of metal songs.

  6. I genuinely hope Merrick gets this one. Not because I like Merrick, but because it would be an awesome troll.

  7. It would be somewhat amusing to see Tired Guy’s reaction if Merrick’s behavior got Rebecca to quit.

    Also, completely unrelated to this comic but the thought’s been rattling around in my head for a while now and I’d like to get it out there…

    What if Tarra’s Envy about Ellie and David won’t be because of a romantic relationship, but rather due to David serving as a mentor to Ellie when Tarra thinks that she should be filling that role.

    1. A bit late for you to notice, but I’ll post anyway.

      Alternate Envy trigger is possible, but we do know that Ellie causes Tarra’s speech bubbles to change color. That seems like it’s indicative of something major emotionally. I’m not sure if tutor envy when she really doesn’t need a tutor any more would reach that level. Though envy out of control could be unpredictable in terms of emotional response, so still possible.

  8. ODing on a time-slowing drug sounds extremely scary to me. Reminded of a scene (can’t remember exactly where it was from at the moment) where someone was killed like that, but their perspective of time was slowed down for them to the point where it would take centuries before their death, completely conscious, and unable to do anything…

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