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That Face You Make When She Checks All the Boxes

101 thoughts on “That Face You Make When She Checks All the Boxes

      1. If she’s killing people with mundane balloons I’d argue she’s incredibly lethal comsidering what she’s working with.

        That aside the balloons could be inflated with a lighter than air cgemical or biological vector that is fatal if inhaled. Could be filled with a flammable gas for arson. The string could be disguised garrote. I’m sure there are more ways.

        1. It might just be a signature, we should really look into the number of dead bodies found clutching a balloon with a woman’s phone number on it. Cops probably overlooked it, treat it as a coincidence, or assume it’s a jealous ex of the balloon girl….

        2. Ah the ol’ poison gas in a balloon lol I rather like the flammable gas though. Then you can pop it with an on fire device to set it off.

          Also, first comment AND Rusche commented? I think this calls for me to make a legit account.

        3. On behalf of the first committee chair. This is officially the official first comment. Also, we have a lurking committee. However, they all seem to have latex and mylar allergies, so they can only attended when their are only lead balloons.

        4. Yeah, that’s actually almostall of the boxes that I was thinking. I don’t know if I should be impressed that you think like me… or terrified.

        5. All of those sound interesting.
          I was thinking of something a little more surreal.
          Such as IT disguising itself as a signature assassin, then using the opportunity to play with its food with balloons.
          No bodies are found, of course. LOL

          In his case, she fits the perfect mold, until he takes her out and turns into an evil clown with balloons bent on killing and eating him. That should scare him enough to be tasty.

        6. Don\t forget, floating balloons require pressurized helium. And ANY kind of pressurized gas can be straight up terrifying.

      2. So yeah… When I was like 4 or so, my sister was 8 and would pick on me all the time… To get revenge, I would ask my parents to get me a balloon… I loved balloons… but oh my, I was always loosing them… well because every time my sister pissed me off, I would steal something of hers she loved, tie it to the balloon, and let it float away… “Son? Do you know where your sisters thing is? No Dad, I literally don’t know where it is (anymore)….Heh

    1. So many possibilities…. I mean, think about it. If there were only one way, it wouldn’t be much of a “specialty”, would it?

        1. If there was an ounce of realism in this strip, I’d point out that it’s probably pretty difficult to get a gas significantly lighter than air that is particularly dangerous. Natural Gas, Methane, CH4, has a molar weight of 16. Nitrogen gas, N2, which makes up the vast majority of our atmosphere, has a molar weight of 28, so, yes, I think methane would be lighter than air, but not nearly as much lighter as is Helium, with its molar weight of 4, or Hydrogen, with its molar weight of 2.

          Granted, both Methane and Hydrogen are highly flammable when burned in free oxygen at near room temperature.

          But then, this is the comic strip with spherical cats, hovering cell phones, and eldritch horrors who are family men.

        2. Potentially a finely grained powder that reacts with the atmosphere and helium or hydrogen to keep it floating (and that it presumably doesn’t react with) could be potentially workable, as long as the powder is fine enough to float easily and not too static-prone to stick to the balloon remnants.

          Powdered metallic sodium could certainly be painful to have popped in your face in Florida humidity (especially if it wouldn’t react with hydrogen and you could use that as filler).

        3. I won’t complain about that.

          On the other hand it made me start thinking about most amusing voices to read my comments in.

          Best I have so far is The Count from Sesame Street (I was taking it assumed as being generally understandable, so the Swedish Chef was out before I started, though he is a favorite of mine for such things).

        4. Actually, if you could get the chemicals for it, mustard gas would be a good option. It isn’t lighter than air but it doesn’t have to be. The balloon just needs to contain enough helium to lift the chemicals. A certain news story last year actually had me look this up. It’s usually stored in two or more chemicals that readily mix into mustard gas to make it both safer and increase it’s shelf life as contained mustard gas will only last a matter of weeks. And with an abundance of balloons in an enclosed space… a small amount is all you’d need. The bigger the space the more balloons filled with the chemicals but also the easier it is to justify having more balloons. Granted you wouldn’t want to be anywhere near these balloons when they popped as it is a blister agent… but if she dressed up in a clown costume that was in fact a hazmat suit and then donned a mask and hood… I’m thinking about this too much. MAKE IT STOP!

        5. mR. Blue rolls 2D4 for action and 1D20 for initiative. My D20 shows 16. With 12 that would be 30. My 2D4 roll is eleven for effect.

          I walk up to the plane seat in which Stephen is sitting in, shake him violently and slap him twice before walking away to tell someone to not call me Shirley.

        6. As long as you don’t start stocking up on chemicals for the balloon or carrying around treatments with you all the time, you’re fine.

          Checking every clown you see with balloons to make sure they aren’t a terrorist or mass murderer is just good sense.

      1. Or totally normal weapons, and a floatier than normal gas, so when they pop, people under them die.

        …what would be more believable, and deadly, suspended knives, or land mines, what set of sexy assassins did she show up with?

        1. The phrases “Sailor Mercury” and “beat you to death” go together like plaids and polka dots.

    1. Just realized how ridiculous the concept of a ballon dealer is. So many little touches make this strip great.

  1. Jebus Rice Merrick! Put down the montage and donyiur freaken job. That stuff is the reason you need sexy assassin’s, co-workers sisters and single moms to fill the joint up.

    1. This strip kind of makes me wonder how montage use is perceived to others not involved in the montage. Do you go about your daily routine but only percieve/retain the highlights that make up the montage or do you veg out and only do those specific things? As far as memory/perception works the end user wouldn’t really be able to tell the difference but it would be funny to see someone quietly sitting in the corner listening to music suddenly jump up, do one specific thing, then return to doing nothing until the next musical cue comes up.

      1. I’ve wondered that too. In comic The Favorite One (current post date September 10, 2014), Pumpkin describes Danny as weird smelling (maybe related to montage, maybe not) and Ellie says he zoned out on her while she was talking and kinda’ stared, but she didn’t seem to suspect montage (also a few months later in comic Contract Fulfillment, current post date June 23, 2015, Ellie doesn’t seem to have any suspicion that Danny would have drugs on him).

        So Ellie couldn’t tell it apart from whatever she considered mild/acceptable level of perving on her by Danny, apparently.

        I think that’s the only instance we have to examine for certain.

        1. Well she was already dealing with him daydreaming about her in her underwear even before he purchased musical narcotics. Though it’s possible Danny’s normal behavior is just difficult to distinguish from his behavior under the influence.

      1. My first thought was, “yep, helps pick them out in a crowd” and it took me a moment to realize that a girl without a face would stand out enormously more in a crowd.

        Weird where first impression thoughts go and the things that fail to be obvious at first glance sometimes.

      1. When my best friend and I had a long dry spell of dating, we joked about lowering our standards to the basics, “human, damage, alive… consciousness was negotiable.” ;)

      2. I don’t think anyone is quite surprised that “alive” is on the list. How low it seems to rank though may be cause for concern.

        1. boobs, booze, ballistics, bullets, bubblegum, badminton, batman, batgirl, brobdingnaggian, bravado, bravery, bombs, boulders, bandicoots…

    1. It’s that so-familiar look of “This is impossible. How is this a thing that’s in reality? But here it is. It can’t be, but here it is. Am I hallucinating? Have the years of loneliness and rejection finally turned my frontal cortex into a shrieking goo that has produced this eldritch image of a perfect woman?”

  2. I have to ask, was Jessica called in by Ginger, was grabbed off the street by one of the D52 and convinced to come in, appeared otherwise by coincidence, or was she a member and thus one of the actually incredibly rare girls from the site showed up?

      1. Penny Arcade Expo?

        …a video game expo sponsored by the webcomic Penny Arcade?

        …quite possibly one of the most popular and longest-running webcomics online?

        …that we beat rather handily in the March Madness competition of I think it was 2015?

        Stop me when any of this sounds familiar.

        1. I knew of two of the three, but not of the furst. The only thing I know of, I think, of P.A. extending off of the electronic page would be: “So you want to be a Web comic artist competition” and their attempt to have it be a competition like cupcake wars.

  3. Cin: OMG, that blonde dude was so cool. Glad his phone number is on this super cool balloon.
    Phone: hello, Jessica speaking.

    1. You forgot,
      Cin: my twin likes girls, so I must like girls.
      Herb: good morning. I have an update on my daughters case. It seems we have a cereal assaulted on our hands. And according to survivor ststements, most of them are former shrimp boat captains and airline pilots.

    1. Because have you ever tried to date a girl who didn’t have a face? Making out is almost impossible, and she’s a burden on the conversation if you ever go out for pasta.

        1. There is NO convenient triangle. The fact that she looks like McRib is always back doesn’t help either.

      1. I kept dying in those games because I kept trying to make Harry, or James, or whoever make out with them. Apparently that’s wrong.

  4. I was saying “That is an awesome balloon.” Except I got stuck on the word “Awesome”, saying it over and over.. Awesome-O is my cat’s name, so he’s really confused now.

  5. You know, I saw you a couple years back at Mega con in Orlando, and I swear that assassin lady looks suspiciously like your wife.

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