The Impression That I Get

I never liked dabbing. My son relentlessly dabs. To the point I think he does it without even realizing it. So if you read and went 'Dabbing? Chris NO" this is why. I see it 30 times a day. I want to invent a medication to stop it. But my son is like a Stage 4 Dabber at this point. It's super obnoxious. Now Ellie's being super obnoxious bragging to her more experienced sisters, knowing full well they'll be eager to know exactly who it was with. Great time for the Sister Approval Ratings to come back. Juniper still riding high from Ellie's motivational speech to her at LoveCon. (..I also get The Floss and T-Poses, but I'll spare you from seeing that crap in the comic too.)

108 thoughts on “The Impression That I Get

    1. It would be extra effort… but it would be cool if there was like a symbol for +3 or -2 etc, whenever it did shift… nah… it makes us more curious otherwise without.

        1. And then I’ll rush in and do the Fresh dance from Fortnite in the background while everyone rubs their bruised faces.

      1. I’m in. Let’s do this. What’s the next con you can make it to, lets get another guy.

        Dibs on dabbing though, I don’t know what a t-pose (the letter T, with arms outstretched, I assume?) or a floss dance is but I support their inclusion.

  1. Ah, time for the sister ratings to become relevant again. I’m assuming Ellie’s gonna need to get those numbers up before the day is done, or else.

    1. I’m fairly sure I’ve read this comic from the beginning, but I’ve forgotten what the ratings bars are for, or just didn’t notice them in the first place.

      1. Those are indicators of sisterly approval, in this case, pointed by the various sisters at Ellie. She’ll be needing their approval for a relevant plot point to follow, if I remember it right.

        And as soon as Tarra finds out who Ellie had all the sex with, Tarra’s bar will not only drop to zero, but drop to zero so hard it will shatter and send Anise’s bar flying off the page. There’s a good chance Pumpkin’s bar will end up embedded in the bottom of the strip that day.

  2. Gotta love the turkey burger box, “Dr. Porkum’s Genuine Horsefed turkey burgers now with 100% Chickenbeef”. the turkey must have been imported to have been horsefed.

  3. Correct me if I am wrong… but isn’t/wasn’t tarra crushing hard on ellies current paramour? Like to the point of obsession?

  4. Aww, my poor Tarr-Bear. Need an ice pack? Cold drink/? Fluff your pillow?

    Any girl with her own car brand that also foreshadows deserves to be pampered a little on her road to recovery.

  5. I will not deny that I have in fact dabbed.
    Hey, it was the 2018 World Series, I was drunk and the Sox won…anyway.

    However, i never played fortnite due to the outbreak of the “Floss dance”
    Whoever invented that seizure of a dance gets sent to the fifth circle of Hell.
    Don’t worry the Macarena dance inventor will be there too.

    What?
    Hey, I didn’t write the rules, man!

    1. Evidently it was some kid, and IIRC he(his parents) are suing fortnite over the use of it because evidently you can copy right dance moves?

      1. So sad, well, rules are rules.
        It’s to the flaming spider pits with him.
        Hey, it’s cold-hearted I know, but unless she/he does something noble?
        Well…that’s how it’ll be.

    1. Dabbing has been around a long time. I think it was part of like Japanese idol dancing for a while in the 90’s, and when anime closing animations started doing the whole dancing bit (Haruhi Suzumiya style), it kinda caught on over here. Then it passed into regular hip-hop dancing in the most recent decade, so even more people started doing it. Baron Trump did it at one of his dad’s appearances in Washington.

      And then I’ve seen it in a lot of video game character animations (in Destiny, in Fortnite, etc) of late, so it’s everywhere. You can’t escape it. Just accept it.

  6. As a DJ, I take the blame for my son doing it a lot. I also take blame for him doing finger-guns at girls and going “Sup chicks?” since one of my closest DJ associates does it as his bit. And then I also take blame for my son telling people “GOLD STARS” when they do something great, since that’s another thing we’ve encountered in the DJ culture (I DJ’ed at EDC in Vegas, and that was like the thing EVERYONE was saying, so now I catch myself saying it randomly).

    If it makes you feel any worse, just wait. I just caught sight of the new clothing trend they want to bring back – Neon colors with big block text from the 80’s. And an increase of people saying “Dude,” to just about everything.

  7. ….horse-fed turkey burgers with 100 percent chickenbeef.

    Dr. Porkum’s test kitchen is clearly located on ISLA NUBLAR.

      1. [blows dust off archivist’s hat]

        It’s been a while since I did a full archive dive, but I believe the earliest posted comic with William in it is All Right Ramblers (current post date December 4, 2013).

        The story chronologically earliest comic he shows up in is definitely originally Patreon exclusive comic The War at Home (now in the archive with post date of December 11, 2014), though technically his words are pictured seven comics earlier though that seems to be describing the other comic’s events.

        [stumbles away coughing over dust from archivist’s hat]

  8. I, for one, would like to see someone actually try llama polo. It would make for a very short but very amusing video on InstaYourFaceInATube. Maybe he first GIF ever filmed in real time.

    1. If I recall, Children were Percy (%), Ampersand (&), Tag (#), and Asperand (@). We might have reasonably chalked it up to Ginger saying the wrong kid’s name (my mother does that all the time), but we can see that Amp clearly has an asperand birthmark in this page and baby Asper doesn’t have one at all.

  9. I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about the amount of sex Ellie and her sisters have, but it just hit me out of the blue: Tarragon has probably had lots of sex, without ever forming a true romantic connection with anyone.

    Tarra seems to approach everything as a competition that she has to win. I’ll bet she has had sex with men, sex with women, lesbian orgies with entire team(s) of beautiful assassin women, BDSM, and more… mentally checking off boxes in a list. I’ll bet that if the sisters ever start comparing sex lives, she will “win”, because that’s what she has to do, all the time.

    She has the body of a goddess, which helps her pick people up; and I’ll bet she quickly developed real skills at sex. But as I imagine it, her various partners quickly start to get unnerved by her and no relationship ever lasts. Not that she ever puts any effort into a relationship. (“I’m breaking up with you.” “I’ll have you replaced before bedtime tonight.”)

    Now that I started this:

    Ginger: Unremarkable sex life; married for love, content with her husband, doesn’t care if Tarra “wins”.
    Anise: Probably has a lot of experience with bearded men by now; too unstable to keep a man long.
    Juniper: Her life is one big party and her metaphorical bedpost is mostly notches.
    Cinnamon: Got started with sex before Ellie did, but is dead inside so hasn’t had a romantic relationship yet.
    Pumpkin: Absolutely no experience yet.

      1. Yes, Cinnamon was living with a man and she talked about having sex with him. But, my take on her situation is that she is “dead inside” and was never truly in love with him… it seems more like she was using him (a “transactional” relationship where he gave her a place to live and she sometimes gave him sex). Admittedly I don’t have a lot to go on; maybe I’m trying to make too much out of a couple of lines of dialog. Here’s the comic:

        http://shotgunshuffle.com/comic/mob-mentality/

  10. OMG! My oldest nephew used to dab on everything. Then I taught him about “The Law of Diminishing Returns” or “Why your dab becomes less of a flex the more you do it”.

    Now, his dabs have become less frequent…but they are appropriate when they happen.

  11. People are still dabbing? It’s been at least ten years on since that move was reintroduced. I didn’t even think anybody still did that.

    1. Well, this is the Shotgun Shuffle Universe, so it’s nothing like the real world.

      For all we know, they still say “Where’s the beef?”

  12. I think the dad means “slather”. Unless he’s getting it wrong on purpose, that is, as dads are wont to do.

    1. Theirs of her. It will apparently be a big part of an upcoming storyline in which Ellie needs a new job. Which she does. If I remember it right.

    1. You’ve got to watch those dislocs, all right. They’re never good news.

      Nice job, spambot, this one was almost English!

  13. Maybe those who register on the site could get an email notification when updates go up, to reduce the fatigue of checking and finding we’re still waiting.

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  15. After 8 years as a sleep expert in a couple of mattress stores and seeing thousands of people experiences with many brands, he decided to write and put all of these years of experience into help guides so others can make the right decision when buying sleep products without having to suffer sleepless nights as a result of choosing the wrong mattress

  16. Hey Chris, it’s been almost a month. Would you please drop a quick note when to expect the next release?
    We know stuff happens and we appreciate the circumstances. Just let us know you’re still among the living, okay?

  17. the cure for dabbing is a shock collar
    or if you want to avoid CPS (aka the boring way)
    start doing it yourself Universal rule if parents think it’s cool then it’s lame ESP if you do it in front of his friends

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