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They’re Back

Next comic will be up Tuesday. Nearly killed myself on the latest Patreon. See you then, guys. pump

170 thoughts on “They’re Back

    1. He’s dealt with the scourge of Montage in his town before.

      Seriously, if Montage existed, I’d be juicing every day…

        1. I woke up one morning not knowing how my entire life happened.

          Don’t be like me. Stay off the Montage.

        2. That depends. Are you on set at the filming of a crappy movie right now? If so, are you not one of the crew? Does the shame fill your soulless husk of a body? If these = yes then I’m sorry about your career Mr. Sandler.

        3. Eh, I take exception.
          Click wasn’t very good maybe (which is what I was referencing). And I don’t like most of his stuff.
          But Happy Gilmore, the Wedding Singer, and Waterboy were alright. And he had a couple other ok films.

      1. That’s Rosemary you’re talking about there bub. She’ll pull you by the hair and throw you into the court systems for less. Unless your making plays for Pumpkin, then she’ll be out with a whisk.

        Honestly, she’s learned something from her daughter-in-law.


        1. Daughter-in-law? Rosemary has 7 daughters, no sons, where would she get a daughter-in-law from?

        2. Ah, he’s referring to Ellie’s brief “marriage” to Quinn from Black Friday, sir.

      2. I suspect being married to a foodie with a bit of a temper at times caused Herb to refine his palate. There’s only so many times you deal with things like: “You can’t tell the difference between this sauce with fresh basil picked from a growing plant today compared to that crap from the store that’s been dead and dried for months! I think you know you’re sleeping on the couch tonight, mister.” Then you put the effort into learning.

        1. Then he must have fixed that problem early-on in his marriage, or he wouldn’t have wound up with 7 children.

    1. Based on shows I’ve seen, that would involve pulling a memory image out of Danny, rotating it 120 degrees, zooming in, zooming in again, cleaning it up a little bit, and he’d have his evidence.

      1. Enhance, *types on keyboard*
        Enhance, *types on keyboard*
        Enhance, *types on keyboard*
        Enhance, *looks at the Captain and types*
        Enhance. . . . *types on the keyboard slowly*

  1. The anthem of everyday life shall be a montage unto all who chose to listen. For it does not quicken neither does it slow, yet it breaths in an essance of joy and exhales sorrow. It cannot hold its breath forever nor never draws it in. It is a continued rhythm that we need to balance and choose to accept. Why addle your existence with montages that skips the very sustanence of our experience? For it is not what we earn during our encounters, but what we learn through them.
    Saints alive, the Wheel of Time by Blind Guardian is racing through my mind! Must resist….WHEEL OF TIIIIIMME! IT KEEPS ON SPINNING THERE IS NO BEGINNING!

      1. I overcame my calculus Exams with a ton of lemon water (one lemon per liter, let the squeezed flesh and peels soak in the water, then at the end I ate the lemon pulp, and repeat as many times as needed) and listened to copious amounts of metal (the kind that gets you to go!). If there are any concepts or subject matters that you need assistance with I can potentially aid you.

        1. Aw, thanks, but I’m just kiddin’ around. I did my calc classes years ago and got through it much the same way you did. Except instead of water, I did jelly beans… those really, generic grade jelly beans. When I needed an extra kick, I ate a few black ones in succession. Those are the power beans.

        2. I will be investigating these black “power beans”. Perhaps these will keep me going in the days to come. Thank you for the idea.

        3. If you’re having problems with calc, perhaps you just need a little… montage? This is Crystal Math. It’ll have you equating all kinds of next-level $h!t.

        1. Catwoman definitely doesn’t have a Buckingham birthmark, and doesn’t really look like Quinn (I don’t think she is currently psychologically capable of a smile that big). Possibly the birthmark will be drawn in later, but she doesn’t jump out at me as looking like Quinn or Pumpkin facially. Also Quinn is the one with a latex catwoman suit in her closet, so I’d think this should be Quinn if that’s supposed to be the two of them.

          Ivy’s face doesn’t look like Quinn (not unlike Pumpkin, though), though the hair could be Quinn’s if grown out a bit more than she’s had time for since her fight with Ellie (though with Pumpkin’s wig-making hobby the hair is no real data point).

          Personally I’m guessing Pumpkin’s imagination is where this scene comes from, and that the girls pictured might or might not be influenced by Shotgun Shuffle universe actual people.

      1. Tis but a MITE Liefeldian. The poses are difficult but not impossible, and the pouches are prevalent but not ludicrous. The Liefeld here is maybe only about 40 proof, but still.

        1. When have I ever steered you wrong, Mr. Blue? My links are like medical drama grade montage: pure.

        2. Medical grade? That stuff stinks worse than, nothing that I can come up with can compare to that, outside of a dairy farm outside of Holland Michigan. I mean, we’ve got something like that here, across from the wal mart. But damn, the local one is once in a while, that dairy farm up there is 24/7/365.25.

  2. Lmao I just about died laughing in the middle of A&W! XD
    Just imagine of Herb knew he used that on Ellie!

        1. Ooooooo! Skeptical Pumpkin! I’m keeping it!

          (Now I don’t have to calculate the letters used against the modulus to pick an avatar manually! Although I really was looking forward to writing a script to calculate that…)

  3. Okay, so I might end up messing with my name here soon to find a good avatar if this one isn’t a good one.

    I wonder just how much montage Danny does, cause the only time we’ve seen him do it was at the con with the date arc, and that was probably quite some time back for them. Reasonable that some residue is on his mp3 player since with him being a slob he probably doesn’t clean his items, or his pants, that often.

      1. alternatively, because they have the avatar tied to the email insteand, I can’t change it easily which is annoying, I like the Anise image I had previously.

        1. I used to leave off the email to get my Anise avatar before the switch. In my opinion, there are too many Danny avatars this time around, but it seems people are finding ways around them, as I don’t see as many as I did when they first came out. For a while, he was EVERYWHERE (it was freaky).

    1. He knew it was going to be a long, boring (for him) day, so he used some montage when Caleb was getting doughnuts. That’s why he hasn’t been as vocal as he usually is:he’s only partially aware of what’s going on; kinda going on autopilot.

      This is my headcannon, and thus it shall be.

      1. Would make sense. This would definitely qualify as something he wants to have pass quickly.

        Though not talking much at this point would make sense without montage too. Both trying to avoid further physical harm from the girls and waiting on what Caleb might do.

  4. Was bored so reread the archive. Thought up a theory, posted it as a comment on the current patreon page. Wonder if Ellie will see if she can arrange another interview at the hotel.

    messed with the capitalization of my email to see how it affects the avatar.

        1. Duty Song © Anne McCaffery 1967

          btw liked how the “Oh, Lord of the Hold, you must keep your charge sure” line had Rosemary for the Avatar.

        2. But, but, but, but, but,

          He hasn’t gone into the full derivative of alphanumeric combinations for the ultimate compilation. I suggest “Freebird”

        3. Why bother with leet, at that point I might as well just alter the email line entirely.

        4. Huh, not a bad avatar there, at least I’m getting a good list of backups, if I can remember what I used to get them.

        5. Just realized something. On one of the strips in the archive that shows Anise considering a boob job or art school, I made a joke, but am now realizing that since she didn’t go to art school, the joke doesn’t actually work…

        6. … The heavens aligned on this… I am pleased.

          and am now noticed that I misspelled weird as wierd… which still kinda works for her.

        7. Just went back and checked, the joke I made was in response to someone asking that if she did go to art school what her preferred medium would be.

  5. ah, Montage, louder a certain someone’s revolver and twice as shiny. but also twice as illegal. :3 nice job danny.

  6. 50 Years, in solitary, in rikers, in gitmo, in Alcatraz, with a 24 hour loop of “Girls just want to have fun” playing 7 days a week.

  7. So a key part of being a good detective is to lick objects with the first signs of residue are detected. Good to know.

        1. You can tell it’s Montage by the taste, which is the last four meals you ate in sequence.

        2. That would be hilarious.

          Crappy cop arrest montage.

          Doin things to book your a$$

          Getting pictures, ink on fingers
          Powdered sugar body lice check.

  8. I can’t help but hope this page is followed by an actual montage of Danny being photographed, fingerprinted, tried, sentenced, and imprisoned.

  9. Imprisoned? Doubtful… not for residue… first offense… minimal amount? I can’t see him doing jail time… he’ll have a record, and probably a fine… but the rest? :shrugs:

      1. You’ve tempted me to play with my own capitalization, in the hopes I might recover my old avatar instead of Transgeneros.

  10. Holy crap, I just popped over to the archive and discovered this comic is the 400th post. Congratulations!

        1. *Glares evilly*

          I’ve seen the movie exactly once, and never remember more than one or 2 lines from a song. I cheated with the duty song by looking up the lyrics.

        2. Not dressing up. also put numbers in my email line, tho that changes the actual address, after this I’m just going to randomly do stuff to it til I get an Anise avatar.

        3. Heh, two Pumpkins in a row.

          Just thought of a good joke, Pumpkin draws a spooky face on herself and goes to halloween as a Jack-O-Lantern.

      1. It’s worth being a patron on Patreon to see the Pumpkin comics as they come out. Also…

        It’s just a jump to the left…

  11. …..*sigh*

    It literally took me to just now to realize that “montage” is the drug on the iPod. Up until now, I just thought he was calling for a montage to show the detective work really quickly. /headdesk.

  12. LOL of all the Police stations in the world they picked the one with her dad in charge lol I love it …..and a fearless man too considering all he had to hear was weird substance and he just stuck his tongue in there

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