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We prefer the blonde…

59 thoughts on “We prefer the blonde…

    1. You application for first has been received and denied because of not meeting the ten word limit. You have however been granted claimants rights on any mineral and oil rights to be obtained from this property referred to primarily in this application of firsting as a substitute prize instead.

    1. It’s in the air ducts!

      The real question is: What is it? It’s tiny, yet has a tracking method? Is it, er, Is secret from days of cold war? Is missile codes? Is key to restroom at gas station?

        1. He’s looking for audio bugs. That’s what I understand from the last time he showed up, anyway.

  1. Smoking while on the air machine… Classy

    The layout of this comic is a Little hard to read.
    I had to read it twice.

    1. Be like every one else, read it multiple times. Archive dive. Membership is only a few words a month and checked by entry through the Top Web Comic passkey black box just above the Patreon peeks on the right side of your screen immediately precceding Ashliii, the sign in for hard core users and something else.

      No, really, you have to use that black box every day.

      1. That urban legend does not hold much merit though. And it doesn’t take a lot of scientific knowledge to get to that conclusion.

  2. Yes, hello. Sorry, we just rented that unit to some crazy canadian chick with a sword and tongue lashed husband with a website here in town to hold dating conventions for comic book nerds. Here’s their web address. Date-a-nerd.biz

  3. Hello there. Just want to wish you and your family a Happy Thanksgiving seeing that this is likey the comic that will get us thru this holiday. Have a good one and keep them black Friday killing to a minimum.

  4. It was his most favorite paperclip. It held the pages together perfectly, better than a staple, or a binder even. Never would they detach, unless you wanted them to. If and when that time came, it detached quietly and deliberately, never catching on the pages or scratching them. It was the best paperclip a Tired Old Guy could ever hope for.

    It was unbendable by any force other than the sheer will of its user and also their fingers. If you had to bend it out of shape to pick a lock, or catch a fish, or unclog a pen after leaving the cap off overnight – all of these tasks, among others, it executed flawlessly – you could easily bend it back to its original form every time, a hundred times over with no loss of durability.

    It truly was the kind of paperclip that you see only once in a lifetime – a very long lifetime, by the looks of him.

      1. When he was a little boy growing up in a small cabin in the mountains, the paperclip was there. When his family lost everything and he had to work three jobs while finishing grade school to help his parents out, the paperclip was there. It saved his marriage. It saved his life in the war. It saved spring break.

        I guess what I’m trying to say is that it’s a pretty good paperclip, and he kinda wants to find it.

        1. Any script held together by The Paperclip would see instant success when shown to a producer. But would the paperclip take any credit? Well, what do you think?

        2. Speaking of dollars, Tired Guy always knew he could trust his best most dependable and perfect paperclip as a makeshift moneyclip. He knew it would never lose his money, or steal from him, spending it behind his back. The paperclip was always true to him.

          I mean, there was the one time when it borrowed a couple hundreds for a risky investment, but it turned out to be a lucky investment – oh who am I kidding it wasn’t luck, the paperclip knew exactly what it was doing – earning enough money to be able to rent all of the units in an entire apartment complex, with more than enough left over to buy a cool hat and cigar. And did the paperclip keep any of it? Nope. Not a penny.

          I’m really trying hard not to undersell this paperclip you see.

  5. Oh, you would know, if you already had this paperclip in your possession: you would get a box of worthless junk that, even with every clip in the box living up to its true potential, will never satisfy you, will never meet your expectations, will never be anything more than just a thing that you bought at Office Depot only out of “necessity” and then forgot about moments later. Imagine how hard it would be to go through the rest of your life, as Tired Guy has (with his own life, not yours of course), being jaded on paperclips.

    It’d be kind of a weird feeling..?

  6. I’d laugh if what they’re looking for is in McFatFat’s litter, which is in the trash, which was still in the apt. when “Wilf” did his check (in my experience the trash is the very last to go when moving flats), which “Merrick” then tosses into the dumpster without thinking to check it ’cause he’s preoccupied with cursing out Quinn under his breath for not doing it herself, (or Quinn does toss it) and they don’t realise until later what happened and rush outside to see the garbage truck pulling away.

    (run on sentence anyone?)

    1. McFatFat’s litter is a good possibility. He hoovered up things from the ceiling and got into the vents and ate the animatronic monstrosity hanging out there. Purposefully or not, him hoovering it up is a good possibility.

  7. For anyone else who checks this site more often than the email given to Patreon, Patreon has updated with the conclusion of the Pumpkin-Quinn storyline. Author comment includes some exposition by Rusche about the storyline and its origins.

  8. Happy Thanksgiving everyone. I am thankful for our gracious host and artist, for our fellowship as a community, and for those who have graciously given their time to converse and be friendly with me.

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