Whichever Captain, My Captain

More Updated UPDATE: Not gonna lie, struggling to get this current coloring done with all the holiday misc going on. This will be up by Black Friday at the latest. Sorry for the wait. Been a challenging past two weeks. Apologies for the delay. Sadly, we lost one of our own in that time. Dave Clary was a huge fan of the comic, and unfortunately passed away due to complications post-surgery. I talked to Dave semi-regularly, and he was a wonderful guy to know. He dearly loved his wife and kids. He was incredibly witty and down to earth. I can give you everything you need to know about how great it was to be around Dave in one snapshot. That's basically him, all the time. Unfortunately Dave didn't have as much life insurance as he thought, and now Dave's wife is forced to move across country and take care of all the little ones on her own. If any of you have the means to help his family in any way, there has been a gofundme set up for it. You can find that HERE. You'll be sorely missed Dave. Glad I had the privilege to know you. I was hoping to have this up closer to Halloween, but like I said.. "life, amiright?" One of our other beloved fans, and fellow comic artist Cherie made a Fatfat pumpkin. THAT ? IS ? SO ? CUTE ? I ? NEED ? MORE ? CLAPS You can find more from Cherie HERE. You can also learn to talk like Ellie and half of social media HERE.   Lastly, the Splotch Comics team is doing a kickstarter for their newest publication, Lucky Shot #1. I helped do a promotional piece for this, and would love for you guys to go check out his creative team and their work. The amount of contributions he's amassed from other comic artists for his projects, along with their own work, is pretty incredible.


And you can find Preston Smith and crew's kickstarter HERE.

90 thoughts on “Whichever Captain, My Captain

    1. Well, we were all wondering how Tarra was envy. Now we’re seeing it. Anyone who challenges Tarra’s dominance sparks envy.

  1. the first time i read through it, i thought it said skeksis not sexsies…. and i was like didnt realize tarra was a dark crystal fan.

  2. The “originals?” Won’t they all be pissed when they figure other they’re all stand ins for the Buckingham sisters? Yea, I’m convinced this is the case.

  3. Good day Mr. Rusche, it has been some time since I have commented, but I have returned. The main reason I have been reading this comic is because your are a fantastic and noble human being (you also have great art). This is literally the only website comic that I read, I do not even read comics in general! I have tried reading other web comics and none of them have truly enraptured me into the intense degree of literary engagement that your comic has. This is because you yourself have shown that time after time regardless of your hardship, difficulties, or doubts you always rise above them and make other people happy. This pours over into your work and is why I believe you have such a loyal and intelligent group of fans.

  4. So sorry to hear of your friend Dave’s death. You gave him a wonderful tribute. My thoughts go out to his family. Thanks for sharing.

  5. Also, I feel like trashy scum for pointing it out but…

    In panel 2 Ellie surprises Tarra so much she almost pops out of her top.

    And then that lead to me noticing a distinct lack of bras among several of our lovely assassins.

    Stupid brain. Quit noticing things.

  6. . . . Yeah, Tarra looks like she wanna take Ellie down a peg or two. She does like being on top of the pile, doesn’t she? But maybe not today. Time will tell, but my gut is telling me that this is the start of a simmer and it’s gonna take a while before Tarra loses her shit and we get to sit back and watch the fallout.

  7. Well, I just discovered this comic a couple days ago and after spending hours in the archive I’m already caught up. And now I get to participate in the comments with everyone. CAN’T ?WAIT?TO?SEE?WHERE?THIS?GOES!

    1. I think I figured out how to change my avatar? Maybe? Starting this on mobile was a mistake, I need professional help.

      1. Head to www gravatar com and set up an account then you can link your email to comments here and it will use whatever gravatar you set.

  8. Lovely tribute to your friend.

    Alas, I must disagree with Ellie on one point here. The three sisters she disses are Anise & Cinnamon (okay fine) and Juniper, whom we have already seen is more than competent, in this situation.
    Another point she overlooks is how well these alleged customers will view these women doing their assassin thing. I reckon the vast majority of them will dissolve into little puddles (of…ewww, let’s not go there) just upon seeing them enter like this. Spriuking their competitiveness into sexy territory is likely to be mote terrifying, really.

    1. Oh yeah, clearly, Juniper’s in her element. But she’s in her element among just over 800 dudes. Even that can only go so far.

  9. In other comic artists, we might not tolerate the delay, but here we have great quality in art and storytelling, so patience becomes virtuous.

    1. There is still the hope that other women will show up. A whole social media press of unknown capability is currently running, including free drinks and an iPhone. Hopefully, these guys are smart and are already pricing cheap iPhone 5 units, currently selling on Amazon for under $100.

      1. Looks like they will be losing money to make money, considering all these dates are just friends of friends.

        Who’s the other 2 inside the room?

        1. Still a net gain. Remember, they stand to save around $216,000 in refunds they no longer have to pay out. Spending even $100,000 on the event still means big savings.

        2. As for the other two, it’s Cinnamon and Anise. They’re in there with Juniper right now. Nena’s whereabouts are still unknown.

  10. Parts of Panel 2 would make a great T-shirt design. Just Ellie’s head and the first speech bubble on a black tee. That would be a great shirt.

    1. Yeah, I’m a bit of two minds on that myself. I tend to read her expression in the last panel as annoyed and I can easily see her having enough of an ego to resent Ellie stealing her thunder. But she did say she was proud of Ellie back when she made manager and she’s shown she cares for her sisters so, maybe…

    2. I’m gonna go with the “grudging approval” choice. Having two older sisters myself, I’m quite familiar with the look.

      1. actually im the oldest sibling of a large family myself and thats why its confusing to me. because i would both be super annoyed that im being pushed aside from command of my own friken teams
        on the other hand ill be thinking “dam right you listen to her assholes, i will break you if you dont”
        but grudging aproval sounds right

        1. I figure Tarra’s jealous. Ellie’s pulling the lot together, which is something even she couldn’t pull off.

    1. Eight hundred horny dudes.

      Four single mothers.

      Eighteen secksie female assassins who kind of hate each other by sixes.

      A disgruntled Tarra.

      Juniper with an open bar.

      Both Cinnamon AND Anise.

      And somewhere in that mess…Nena.


      Seriously, this is like that Calvin and Hobbes strip where a train jumps the rails, a plane’s about to crash, an earthquake hits, and Farmer Brown’s about to light his stove, while not noticing the gas leak.

      1. Additionally, a disgruntled Tarra who may be about to meet her sworn enemies who are sponsoring this function.

        This is the recipe for the single most explosive thing in webcomics I’ve ever seen. It’s tri-nitric Shuffluene.

        1. “Oh, hi, David, fancy meeting you here.”
          “That’s me, always in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
          “Sweet talker.”
          *braid does its thing while they flirt*
          “So who invited that old creep?”
          “It’s his show.”
          “Is that right.” *sighs* “Time to kick ass?”
          “Yes, please.”

    1. The last I knew, Lara’s curves were originally a programming accident they just went with. More recently there’s been some big SJW push or another and the programmers buckled, pulling said curves from Lara.

  11. I’ve been reading tarra’s expression as enforcing Ellie, her look adressing her assassin teams to not question Ellie’s orders.

    1. Rusche’s update schedule went to hell a long time ago and has mostly stayed there. But the product is good enough to keep checking back for. almost 9:30 PM in NY on the 21st and still no update, alas. Well, there’s always tomorrow.

      1. Let me clarify that I’m not really complaining. I would LOVE to have more updates but clearly the artwork we’re seeing isn’t something that can just be cranked out in one day. Rusche has become notorious for putting perfectionism over the update schedule, and the result is usually that though the update schedule suffers, the art improves.

        1. You’re not the first to suggest this. More than a few of us have been in the more updates / lower quality camp. The art here is absolutely phenomenal, but for those of us who want to see the story actually advance, we’re more than willing to see the art merely go to “good”.

          Rusche, however, is not that kind of artist. Dude wants everything to be top-notch. You’ve got to applaud that kind of dedication even when it absolutely wrecks any hope of updates. You’ve heard of “not letting perfect be the enemy of good”? Well, Rusche is the kind of guy to be waving a pennant in the stands that says “perfect” all over it and is screaming for perfect to rip good’s weasely black guts out. Just the kind of guy he is, in the end, and it’s hard not to respect dedication like that.

  12. And next week we shall find out whether the sexy assassins have any self esteem or if they just mindlessly do whatever the rude girl said aside from insulting them. Also: Insulting three groups of effing assassins? I think it’s quite far beyond bad enough that she asked them to prostitute themselves for her, just because she wants that fake dating site to keep going. This is just wrong on so many levels and Ellie being super impolite adds another layer to the absurdness.

    1. Dial back the hyperbole train there, chief; it’s not prostitution.

      1. No one’s paying for sex. That’s pretty much the main definition. You can argue all you like, but remember, you’re not arguing with me, you’re arguing with WEBSTER’s.

      the act or practice of engaging in promiscuous sexual relations especially for money

      And if you want to argue with dictionaries, you can, but it really doesn’t look good.

      2. There is absolutely nothing saying that all 18 of the seksies won’t find true love and happiness waiting on the other side of that door. There’s just over eight hundred dudes in that room. The odds are good, even if the goods are odd.

      1. 1. This is something that should’ve been obvious to you, especially since you seem to know dictionaries so well. :-) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prostitution#Other_meanings
        Don’t just assume that I meant it literally if the symbolic meaning is literally the thing they’re being asked to do.
        2. That’s hilarious! ^^ I don’t believe that those are good odds at all, given where they came from. Also I’m just as grossed out at this idea as Pumpkin is. Pumpkin seems to be the only reasonable character so far.

    2. The assassins are all there because they answer to Tarra. Ellie knows she’s got her sister’s authority backing her up, so when they start to descend into bickering she asserts herself. Besides as Terry Pratchett pointed out in his Discworld books, it’s bad form for an assassin to kill someone they don’t have a contract on.

      It does seem out of character for Ellie to ramp up the intensity so quickly but hey, it’s no secret that she’s supposed to develop as a character as the story progresses. For the first time she has a job where she isn’t just a cog in the machine but is actually involved in shaping the plans and future of her company, and maybe stands to gain something for her efforts beyond the hourly wage for just showing up. This whole event was her idea and if it goes well because of her resourcefulness she’s going to get credit for it.

      And as pointed out above, there is no expectation that they will be getting paid to have sex. Walking through the door and meeting some people and seeing where it goes (if anywhere) isn’t prostitution.

      1. Again, symbolic prostitution: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prostitution#Other_meanings
        It’s literally what they’re being asked to do right now.

        Do try to assert yourself like Ellie in front of just one assassin and see what happens. :-)
        Assertion can be done politely, too, and it’s so much more effective. Yes, Tarra is strong and can defend Ellie, but I don’t think she can take on 18 assassins.

        As for contracted killing: I know Pratchett, but I also know that there are so many things that are worse than death. :-) And they just might want to make an occasional exception if the need arises. Maybe they’re more like Noir.

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