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You Were Never Intended

I have another comic for tomorrow, which is half completed. Last week was insanely busy for me. Concerning the site, and concerning multiple other things in real life, etc etc, better late than never. I got some fanart from a long time reader, Eric Clements, who runs the Bohemian Nights webcomic. shotgun Eric's been a friend of Shotgun Shuffle for a while, so please check out his comic here: bn Also, I did a housekeeping update on Patreon a while back for anyone donating $50+/month. I have a whole PSD file started for those dwarfed caricatures of Patreons who responded. If you didn't see the note, go check Patreon, because I did request anyone eligible to do me one small favor for completion. I'm hoping to get everyone at once, bu I'm going to move forward on completing those that responded so far. Also, I still need to hear from anyone in the $100/month tier concerning their potential story pitch. If you're not familiar, you get a cameo in the comic, for atleast three comics. One example of this actually happening in the story so far, would be with Heather, seen here: heather Those are two snippets, of the three comics she appeared in. So, whatever the idea is, I need to know since I like to plan these out well in advance. It doesn't even have to include yourself. Something along the lines of "THIS + THIS in a comic, please." It honestly doesn't matter. I can make hay out of anything. Okay...     whatelsewhatelse... uhhh   OH YEAH WE WON! Yeah yeah... some of you are sick to death of the vote. I know. But it's over now and I want to thank everyone who cast one in for me. Or cheated like the devil for me. Or donated for me. Really, thank you all for any vote of confidence. I got some wonderful comments from Minna over at Stand Still Stay Silent, and many of her readers. They've really become our extended family through this competition. One of her readers even made this cute video: I told the SSSS readers on their Disqus that it appeared they won the popular vote, and that if Shotgun Shuffle did get the title of ComicMix 2015 Webcomic of the Year (I guess that's the title?) after the donations were counted, it would certainly be a shared victory. And if it didn't, there's no webcomic I'd rather lose to. Well I'm fairly certain it's a shared victory. So congrats to both fandoms! I welcome all Minnions, Scandinavian tourists, and assorted trolls. And while I have no ability to create my own Youtube tribute to celebrate... This is the next best thing:

105 thoughts on “You Were Never Intended

    1. 3-5 lbs, or so, to the face. So, blood is not really a surprise. Neither is the fact that the Cunuck, the Girls, or Quinn, give no crap about it.

      1. Agreed. I am just used to much more aggressive forms of contact in my hobbies so the bleeding took me by surprise.

        1. Well, an open laptop like that has a lot of corners and edges that can get a good scrape (more so if anything broke on impact with Danny or the floor), and scalp wounds don’t take much for relatively profuse bleeding. Nose is easy to smash and at the right angle a narrow object like the laptop could take a tooth or two out.

          Other areas of the body are much more resistant to bleeding without sharper objects, though.

      2. Especially if the laptop hit him in the face edge or hinge on- all that momentum and weight on a thin-ish edge would definitely be at risk of breaking the plastic housing and cutting him up that way along with everything else you would expect from being hit in the face with a largish piece of technology…

        And given that he said he just had laptops sitting around, it might be a little older and a touch heavier than the 3-5 pounds estimated here- mine’s closer to 7 and is only 3 years old.

        1. Unrelated topic, but if you do want to press ComicMix about their apparent math comprehension issues for donation votes, let me know and I’ll contribute a receipt for $130 donation in the final. I suspect others here would contribute their receipts as well.

  1. Ah the classic “I am right therefore I don’t need to be smart/nice about how I deal with people.”

    Hopefully he’s still holding on to some record of his travel.

  2. And the blood is dripping from Danny’s head. Nice. I like that. As for the girls believing what Caleb has to say, well, that is too be seen. He may be able to convince them that he didn’t have anything to do with the whole convention thing, but that doesn’t really absolve him of the site. After all, the money trail leads to him.

    On a side note…Congrats on the win!!!! We knew you could do it…with our help of course. Bask in the glory while you can. Then it’s back to the grind stone.

        1. HUZZAH! Huzzah a thousand times! There is work to be done! I shall return shortly.

        2. Mr. Blue looks at his hands, feeling the burn of the discorporeal Count having disappeared. Looking around, he sees Dr. Brown and some punk who is afraid to drown in the distance. The punk seems to have some sort of portable tv studio in his hands, because the President has to look good on tv.

  3. I got a feeling the next update is gonna through us through a loop. Caleb is a bit too calm given the current situation, so I’m guessing he’s got something up his sleeve to follow up on those ellipses.

    Also, congrats on the win!

    1. Call recording would be my guess. Nothing like pulling out the mobile, hitting play, and putting out “Send her home, you twonk. We’re not paying her.”

      1. Still won’t absolve him of attempting to cover up the crime by shutting down the site which makes him (to a lesser degree) an accomplice.

        1. He might be able to argue to the girls that he was taking the site down to stop additional damage and leading Danny to believe he wasn’t going to press charges to try to keep his cooperation a bit longer. Which would be dumb, but it might fly. Also he was dumb enough to trust in Danny’s cooperation, so the level of stupidity is apparently just about right for Caleb.

      2. I don’t know. That’s too much of a bad plot device. And from what we’ve seen with Chris’ work, he’s way too good to allow for something like that to happen without any foreshadowing of any kind to just take place. The only thing that would work, it seems would be for him to call Vu, and she relates what she heard in terms of the conversation in relation to Caleb and Danny boy talking about the convention.

        However, Now that I’m thinking about it, That little bit of foreshadowing could be slightly enough. But only if they had accidentally left something on in the background, like a pod cast that they may have been working on. Especially if they’re youtube players. Which I suppose could be another hat tip to Necroscope 86 (86 right?).

        1. Further thought on this, what evidence is there, beyond his setting up the convention scheme, that Danny boy required surveillance from the owners? A ton of bad ideas? Someone who was competent at setting up web sites? Not much at all. However, if Caleb is paranoid enough from doing bad websites, in a business where ideas can sprout up like weeds on the internet in less than a keystroke.. But then, Caleb would be recording everything business wise. However, he does seem adept at knowing where the line in the sand is drawn. I’d imagine that he may be a bit adept at toeing that line a few times himself. So, unless he was burned previously. Just pulling out a recording still seems like a very bad plot device, or trope. There is something else going on.

          However, projecting calm in any situation can help in defusing girls with powered kitchen tools with carnal exploration intended.

        2. If Caleb has a recording, it’d be from the previous day when he arrived to confront Danny. A recording from the original con would be way too much of a stretch.

          The thing I think he’s going to try, which is colossally ridiculous to consider attempting, is to tell Danny to fess up and believe he will and that they will believe him. Rusche mentioned an egotistical attitude from Caleb and that he believed Danny would do as instructed for some unfathomable reason.

          @Jamilee – I’m guessing Caleb’s going to turn to Danny for evidence, and Danny will point to all the things he manufactured on the server after Caleb passed out. Realistically some of those have probably been there for much longer, though. I expect Danny’s been setting Caleb up to take the fall on this since before he placed the cameras.

    1. While his “before they find out” shows a desire to hide it from the girls, taking the site down isn’t necessarily destroying evidence. Commenting out the Apache config, changing directory permissions, and similar things along those lines could be done to take the site down without actually destroying any evidence. While you’d have some degree of chain of custody issues, since it’s an active site you’re working on there would be uncertainty about that anyway, so it’d still be your word about when changes took place.

        1. When I’ve gone to look for things there, it’s pretty spotty. Especially for less common/known sites. I don’t know if a new site that’s been around for less than a month would end up being grabbed or not.

  4. Ladies and Gentleman, harken to me. I speak unto thee not so that my words my be heard, but so that thee may know what has been done by thine own hands. Thee hast taken a comic published on the web, an object which many consider unavailing, and generated a beautiful harmonious community. Thou has taken a preconceived burden for an artist and transmuted it into a life passion. Thou has reached out to a faction foreign to our own and engaged in joyous cooperation. Thou hast voluntarily engaged foes conceived to be much more powerful than us and emerged victorious. For those who are patrons, you have contributed to the success of this comic out of your own good will. The entirety of this body has foster an environment of aid and well-being to each other, the artist, Miss Ginny, and the self proclaimed “Minnions” that have arrived upon our doorstep.
    My words falter in their ability to define the awe inspiring achievements that thee hast mustered with your generosity and courage. It is as though a thousand petals of all different flowers flutter through the winds of victory leaving an indescribable incense of joy. A tree that remains rooted with a litany of roots and a myriad of blossoms that sing in harmony amidst the storms and rain. How is it that any of you can feel anxiety, not know your incredible worth, or recognize the deeds that thee hast done? Thee hast taken something that is seemingly worthless to the common man and crafted an undeniably remarkable monument of fellowship. You have done what very few in this day seem capable of, you have created purpose. Most can only see an associated value that has been told to them, but you are not most. You are you. You have not allowed what you are to define you, but who you are define you. It matters not if you are a lawyer, a doctor, a warehouse worker, a fast food service member, or anything else. You shall always be you and you have made yourselves AWESOME. You have made your own present and thus your own future. Many cannot simply become rich, become confident, or become healthy, but you can become YOU! I cannot stress enough that you all have done something that I viewed as nearly impossible. You have given me hope, friendship, laughter, and joy.
    You are all the winners, you are all the best!

        1. In reading that while noticing your avatar, I find that I can actually picture Rodney Dangerfield dressed up as Sailor ${Arbitrary_Celestial_Object} . I don’t think he’d look appreciably more self-conscious than normal.

  5. I see someone’s become a YouTube star in my absence. I’m going to have to do something about that gopher before that other nutjob comes back here with his crossbow and plastic explosive.

    1. Check me if I’m wrong, Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers, they’re gonna lock me up and throw away the key.

  6. Can we add “Stand Still, Stay Sober” to the list of Friends/Links on the menu above? I think their minions would appreciate the shortcut after this year’s Battle Royale.

        1. The motion having been made and seconded on the floor, thirded, the favor having been made into a classy move along with the addition of another old commenter confirmation and this lovely Larathiel bowl is now being sent to the chair, with the approval of the owner, webmaster, and in the immortal words of Jean Paul Sartre, ‘Au Revoir, gopher’.

  7. A winner is you!

    Congrats Chris, we knew you could do it. I’m glad my roving vote blitzes and donations helped make this happen.

  8. Long and drawn-out was the contest
    like a Finnish epic poem
    that you had to learn to translate
    line for line in some old classroom.
    Strong and steadfast was our voting,
    and our turnout was like arrows
    shading heroes as they waited
    for the chance to turn the tables.

    Voting that much takes devotion;
    so does giving so much money
    to a cause we all believe in,
    so good game, congratulations,
    now we all dine in Valhalla,
    or the best approximation,
    Though there’s one thing more to say:

    Rushe can fundraise like some robot
    sent back from a future timeline
    with a plan to murder all the
    Sarah Conners he can find.
    He won’t give up; he knows no mercy.
    Now we know that he’s not joking
    when he stands there in his sunshades
    saying only, “I’ll be back.”

      1. She IS a poor college student. She might be looking around for something that she doesn’t want back from Danny’s apartment to gift him with.

        I think one of those empty bear bottles would work.

      2. No use wasting a perfectly good egg beater on someone who isn’t even conscious enough to fully experience it after all.

  9. After climbing the heap of defeated opponents, the artist looks around and enjoys the view with his cadre of (loyal? fanatical?) supporters. When asked what to name this new peak, a suggestion is offered…
    Mount Ruschemoar. :P

    1. I like that. I figured that he was doing some sort of National Lampoon’s “Vacation”/ Star Wars pose. Quinn standing on top of the heap holding her electric hand mixer triumphantly in the air with Ellie on her leg as Princess Leia. Starring Danny boy as Dork Helmet.

  10. Congratulations!

    I want to strongly compliment you all for the more friendly final I ever see in this tournament. The both fan bases’ behavior was (and is) totally amazing, however I want to especially thank you because I feel it was yours the initial positive step in this thrilling outcome.

    In a personal note, you all just helped to wipe out of me the bitter taste that past events had left, and grown back a little my faith in people. Thank you.

    I will keep reading from my little dark (and a bit more warm) corner over there. I wish you all the highest success and happiness.

    Au revoir

    1. Agreed, and hope that our manner of competition in this final is an example and a pattern for future contests.

      And please mention to Piney, who had stated a desire not to cause drama, to judge by final destination rather than initial bumps. (I’m seriously not kidding about an absolute refusal to ever use Disqus.)

        1. You mean like some of the fights back when it was “Bittersweet Candy Bowl and others?” But I only know about some of those from the remarks made by Hauman. Still, it is partially intriguing to know that even farming the polling out to another firm still had some troubles. But then again. Having to coordinate several different feeds in order to have this thing running… meh… Having to set parameters in the poll maker, logging into the bracket maker, tallying the donation votes, keeping track of past battles. . . . >.> <.<

          Where's Carl?

        2. No, I didn’t think you were, and while I didn’t pay attention to some of the worse examples, I content myself with a few quick summaries.

          Regarding Piney, I was more meaning that she was concerned about causing drama, but if anything she caused a slight discomfort which led to open discussion leading to general respect and good feeling. That was what I was meaning. I’m a person who believes attempts to avoid even the hint of something negative also frequently avoid the best outcomes.

      1. “I’m seriously not kidding about an absolute refusal to ever use Disqus.”

        Fully with you on that one!
        Only with me it’s because of an earlier attempt to actually do so. And being denied by Disqus from it, which destroyed any trust I might have had yet.

        1. I registered an account, then tried to login. It wouldn’t let me. Tried to register another account, it wouldn’t let me because nick/email was already taken.

        2. For me it’s the requirement to add two Disqus domains and the comic domain to exceptions in NoScript and also give it a pass in Ghostery before I can even READ the comments. That being the case, I never even tried to make a comment, and it’s quite rare for me to unblock enough to read. I don’t hold it against the webcomic author, as realistically to them it’s just something that works which likely someone else introduced them to, recommended, and/or set up. I just put it in the, “Well, I guess I don’t really care enough to find out what’s under that plugin” category.

  11. I am glad to see SS won! I have been borderline offline for a good chunk of the last couple weeks and haven’t been able to vote as often as I could have otherwise.

  12. Really this sounds like Ellie not wanting to believe him because she knows it’s true. She said so herself, she just didn’t want to look for a real job. She used her looks to get Danny to do things for her and lastly she signed Danny’s name on the contract because she knew it was all absurd.

    Admitting Caleb is telling the truth just makes her think she’d look worse. :p

    As for Caleb hiding evidence. He said to shut it down. They walked in on them in the process and he panicked. I think most would, especially since it’s not unheard of for the law to put people away/screw them over for them having little knowledge of any wrong doing.

    1. “A man convinced against his will, is of the same opinion still.”

      Ditto for women. I can’t say that a stance of, “I don’t believe anything you tell me” from Ellie regarding either Caleb or Danny is all that unreasonable. Especially right now as emotions are running high. When your state of trust is right around nil, a plausible alternate explanation is likely to convince you the person is a good liar.

      I was thinking the same as you, but I went back to comic 400 and noticed that before noticing the girls he did add “I wanna make sure this is done before they find out!” So, from their stance he is trying to get rid of the site, but he also knows it was against their will and is trying to keep them in the dark. Once they calm down, that will jive with it not being his idea and him being against it (and worrying about legal fallout back on him would be expected reason for wanting it down without their knowledge), but at the moment I suspect accomplice/accessory is how they view him and it’s going to take a pretty strong jolt to change that.

      1. When he did not do anything more than complain about it when Danny boy was dragging his feet and offering $h*tty B33r, he crossed the line into accomplice, very complacently he did.

        1. I’m not certain of that. I’m not as certain for violations of the law, but I can tell you that for compliance violations with the government, you do have time before you’re required to make an initial report (generally 1 business day, though I’ve seen longer). The rationale I’ve always seen is time to do an initial investigation to determine the situation before making a report. I’m not sure how that holds with a legal violation, but I would think Caleb would have a decent argument to avoid personal legal culpability (though likely still business financial ruin) in that he wanted to fully investigate the situation before making a report in order to A) gather the most information possible while Danny was being cooperative, B) verify that things were truly as they seemed before starting the report, C) acting to terminate the situation causing harm to others, and before D) properly reporting to the authorities. It seems to me that he could have an argument in that direction, and would’ve had a very good argument in that direction had he cut Danny’s access and told Vu to do it (and then he could’ve gotten drunk with Danny if he wanted). The fact that he told Danny to do it and got drunk instead of supervising seems like it would throw suspicion of complicity and/or at least add some charges with “negligent” at the front of them.

        2. Well, he acknowledged to some culpability in asking them… we aren’t on the new comic are we?


          Read the next comic.

    1. Uh.. there will be a hurricane storyline which keeps getting pushed out. This results in a lack of power for days and dying of boredom. So eventually we’ll get to it.

    1. Use it to tie the boat to the dock.

      Boats are always good for getting rid of the bodies, after all. Dexter could even tell them the best place to drop the wrapped and weighted chunks.

  13. Shotgun Shufflers,

    At this time, welcoming several new readers, I thought it might be good to mention the somewhat neglected wiki (and yes, I’m one of the people who was doing some care and feeding and have been neglecting it). This might be a good time to update some pages to assist new readers in acclimation/reference.

    I added a news post about the ComicMix tournament, including the congenial nature of the competition for the final.

    1. I realized I forgot to mention the link. It’s in the left column under the comic and beside the author post, click on Tarra’s head (labelled wiki also).

      Just updated Buckingham Sisters category page description text to include reference to parallels between sisters 1-3 -> 4-6 and updated the Sister X blurb at the top of it. Will try and update more in the upcoming days/weeks.

    2. Mr. Blue has to admit that it has fallen to the side a bit. It was fun when everyone was working on it. But wasn’t Erik one of the bigger editors?

      1. I remember you, me, & TLO as the bigger editors. I recall Jessica popped in a time or two and someone with a username that didn’t match a commenter (at that time, haven’t gone to look if they started commenting since) did more than a few edits. Granted, while my memory for a lot of trivia is good, names are still a weak point, so I could easily be misremembering.

  14. Caddyshack, sheesh… I’m still sometimes quoting from those, even though I haven’t seen one in probably about two decades now.

    And it seems to me that Quinn actually might have been convinced by Caleb. At least far enough not to be in murder mode anymore.

  15. Interesting news everyone. I will be travelling to stay in a resort in Daytona June the fifth to the eleventh. I will be there to go deep sea fishing with some business on the side. Anyone want to catch up over coffee and fill me in on the area?

    1. I’d offer to help, but deap sea fishing suggests you mean Daytona Beach as opposed to Dayton, OH. I’m no help for Daytona Beach.

      1. Great, I lost my stupid witty post.

        Dig a big ass moat, with an inner circumference of 20 meters, 10 meters wide. Do not dig a complete circle. Start from the South East direction from the center of the inner moat’s boundary. Dig counter clockwise for 270 degrees. Dig three miles deep. Fill with excess water from the Cuyahoga River and Lake Erie. Make new SNL commercial about deep C fishing in Dayton Ohio. Get Bill Murray, and the “Anticipation” background music by Carly Simon. Charge $500 a head. Lose money. Stuff like that.

  16. Another visitor from SSSS here! (Technically I had read SS first, but that was back in the dark days before I had knowledge of RSS feeds and mastery of bookmarks. Given that I have a memory for names like… um… uh… hmm… er… something with a really bad memory for names, SS was lost to me after an archive binge.)
    Anyway, congrats on the win! If we had to lose to somebody, SS was my first choice.

  17. I discovered a few good comics thanks to that competition. Shotgun Shuffle is still my favorite, but sometimes I can’t resist binging

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